I hate fake deer, too. Everytime I see their stupid fake deer faces, I wanna grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em.

Mustard: Better than a 2x4 to the head.

Emmy time has come and gone and really not a whole helluva lot changed. Tony Shaloub (I really like Monk but 3 times for the same character who doesn’t really change? How does Steve Carrell not win that field?) and Megan Mullally (shoot me, shoot me now) took home their trophies without trying. And I don’t really agree with Kiefer taking best drama actor (rage against me all you want but all he does is act ANGRY or whisper). 24 as best drama? Again, I love the show but it barely makes more sense than Prison Break. Of course I might just still be pissed about Veronica Mars not being nominated (just finished up Season Two on DVD and it really was THAT good).

They did some things right: Jeremy Piven finally gets his recognition. The Office was at least worthy of best comedy if not nearly as good as Scrubs or Arrested Development. My Name is Earl got its recognition for Directing and Writing (yet apparently Two and a Half Men is more deserving of a best comedy nomination).

Conan was a great host ("um, we kind weren’t invited") and Bob Newhart still has the best facial expressions in the business. Also major props to all nominees for the Variety/Musical/Comedy Program writing teams for their nominee videos (The Colbert Report’s bears take the prize in my book).

Finally got a new phone and, thanks to Google and some kind souls on the mobilepedia message boards, have figured out how to make my own ringtones. Right now I’ve got the chorus to Spoon’s Beast and Dragon Adored as my main tone. The sound quality on the LG VX8300’s external speakers is fantastic.

So Deadwood is over (as far as normal episode go, now there’s just 2 movies that’ll be coming out). This show is truly rewarding for those that have the patience for it. It’s not an easy show to watch (and I’m not just talking about the constant profanity or violence ie Dan’s fight with the Captain). It’s a slow burn show, incredibly deceptive of how much is going on in any given episode but it handles an ensemble cast better than almost any show on television. Ian McShane has officially hit my favorite actors list. Hell I almost went and saw Woody Allen’s latest cause he was in it and it takes a lot to get me to a Woody Allen movie these days. Great show, great story and I’ll miss it when it’s finally over. Plus it had Major Dad as the villain this year. Bonus points right there.

News and Notes:

Heading to the ND/GA Tech game in 4 days! College Gameday, baby! Finally back to an Irish football game. It’s been too long. NCAA Football 2003 predicted a 7-6 Irish victory.... maybe the scoring was a little low.

Zach Braff not heading back to Scrubs after this year? I don’t know what’s sadder: the thought of Scrubs without JD or that I heard about this through Erin’s Jane magazine.

I still do not understand the appeal of preseason NFL Football. I’m sorry, I just don’t.

Steve Trachsel: 14 Wins. Only 5 Losses. 4.98 ERA. And somewhere Roger Clemens weeps.

Until next time:

“Sexually transmitted diseases are no joke, Jane.”

“I wasn't laughing. I sneezed.”

“See how much you're sneezing when you have gonorrhea.”

What's wrong? You've been listening to Radiohead, haven't you? That's it. I'm putting you on a strict Nelly diet.

Mustard: Deep and I don’t think it’s playable.

Man, what a let down: after weeks of hype surrounding the Nintendo Wii press conference at the Games Convention in Leipzig, all Nintendo comes up with is to announce sequels to Super Mario Strikers and Battalion Wars. While good news, it’s not exactly HUGE. These were pretty much givens to come out. So apparently we’re now marking our date for Sep 14^th as the day they announce date and price. Which probably translates to an early November release as opposed to the October release previously rumored. Unless of course Nintendo decides to pull an Apple and just have the equipment ready for launch the minute it’s announced. No, I don’t think that’ll happen but then again Nintendo is obviously going the Apple route in terms of looks and being the different choice in the new gen console wars.

HUGE news: Scrubs will be doing a musical episode next season with music written by the composers of Avenue Q! How friggin' cool is that? The musical episode of Buffy remains one of my favorite TV episodes of all time so I am really looking forward to what the crazy Scrubs people can do.

So notable things about the Teen Choice awards: Host Dane Cook attempting to keep a straight face through the large amounts of [expletive deleted] that was going on around him. I swear some of those acceptance speeches were so full of inane bs I thought he was just going to run up on stage with a baseball bat and start swinging. One which was not bs however was the acceptance speech of one Mr. Nick Lachey. If nothing else, the creators of this crapfest have a sense of humor as they awarded Lachey the best song for his What’s Left of Me song chronicling his divorce from cohost Jessica Simpson. Fox had the decency to avoid cutting to a reaction shot of Simpson after the announcement of the win, something I’m very upset with them for. Of course Lachey is too much of standup guy to make some sort of comment, right? “I just want to say one thing: Um, awkward?” I’ve never been so happy.

So you may be wondering: Why the hell were you watching the Teen Choice Awards? Simple. I was anticipating the debut performance that would rival the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. That’s right: Kevin Federline’s first live performance. I sat through 2 hours of trying not to strangle myself to view the spectacle. And oh, did Mr. K-Fed ever deliver. The fake piano intro with the two boys lip-syncing to the Fed’s lyrics was tremendous but the moment when he was supposed to spring from the piano in “true” hip-hop fashion and he bobbled the mic, almost spilling it to the floor, was pure glee. And things only got better as he launched himself into a pure white-boy poser rap that had Vanilla Ice shaking his head in disgust thinking “it’s been done”. In an attempt to distract from K-Fed’s lyrical torture, there was a dancer pulling off acrobatic moves, hopping all over the stage as if to say: don’t worry folks, I know this is really bad but we’ve got some great commercials coming up so let me entertain you with a flip or two. Alas the entire stage could have caught on fire and burned to the ground revealing Jessica Simpson to be making out backstage with Dane Cook and it STILL wouldn’t have been enough to pull my eyes off the trainwreck that was Federline’s performance.

I really think this man should do the Superbowl halftime. Hell, have him do EVERY Superbowl halftime. The yearly K-Fed performance. I guarantee more people would look forward to see if the man can one up himself than watch the usual halftime snorefest. I think I’m on to something here.

In other news Prison Break is back and stop reading if you don’t want a MAJOR SPOILER: ……ok, so Robin Tunney is dead. I sort of cheered. Seriously, she was awful to the point where I don’t know who I’ll miss less, her or Mischa Barton. Oh and I’m sorry but Thatcher Grey is no replacement for John Billingsley. And they look NOTHING alike.

I hate the HBO is calling this next episode of Entourage the season finale. No, it’s the season mid-way point. It’s coming back in January. Stop artificially creating more seasons than there are. Maybe they should spend a little more time coming up with a pervasive season long plot. Cause right now it seems to be “Vince can’t get a job”. That’s not much of a plot. Oh and this is the greatest shirt ever.

News and Notes:

Holy crap, Episode III Commentary is up. And yes, I know I have a LOT of typos in there, I’ll correct them. And just so you know I’ve halfway through Ep IV so it really won’t be that long. Promise.

To the Red Sox, one word: Ouch.

GA Tech next week baby!

Until next time:

“So, senior year. How was your first day of school, honey?”

“Great. I beat up a freshman, stole his lunch money, and then skipped out after lunch.”

“What, no premarital sex?”

“Oh. Yeah. But don't worry, Dad, I swear you're gonna like these guys.”

“That's my girl.”

Ah, steak fries. Always soggy.

It’s Mustard time!

So Veronica Mars has officially become the greatest casting show ever! Not content to sit back and let the hiring of Steve Guttenberg be its casting pinnacle, they went out and hired Ed Begley Jr. as the new dean of Veronica’s college. This man may have appeared in just about every TV show ever made. It’s actually frightening to check out how long his IMDB page is. I remember him fondly from such roles as Stan Sitwell on Arrested Development and from the incredible role of Ebner Frost in Santa with Muscles (no, it’s a real movie, I swear. If you haven’t seen it you owe it to yourself to rent it, grab a case of beer, and watch Hulk Hogan attempt to prove that Shadow Warriors 2: Hunt for the Death Merchant wasn’t the worst movie ever made.). I most remember Begley from his guest starring role on the Simpsons where he invents a go-kart powered by his own sense of self-satisfaction.

Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Ed Begley Jr. - honestly, if the show casts Peter Scolari next season, I’m ready to just give up everything else and watch Veronica Mars episodes on permanent repeat.

Down goes Pedro! Down goes Pedro! Ok, so maybe that’s a little alarmist, considering they still have a 13 game lead. While the results are out on the extent of his injury, let’s hope that it isn’t too serious. There’s still plenty of time for him to recuperate before the playoffs and that’s when he’s really going to need to be in top form.

Catching the game when they were in town this past Sunday was great. Thanks to my brother and sister for the sweet tickets.

So as if people didn’t hate the RIAA enough, when someone they were suing for music piracy died, they decided to give the family a 60 day mourning period before continuing their litigation (they’ve since decided to drop the lawsuit all together). Now as with any legal proceedings, the RIAA has every right to attempt to continue their suit against the deceased’s estate. But wow, how much bad press is one organization looking to collect?

The Guster concert was quite good if not quite as crazy as past concerts OnTap has taken me to. Guster themselves hit a high note of ridiculousness when the did the rap from Revenge of the Nerds with a woman translating it to sign language onstage. I enjoyed Rogue Wave more than Ray Lamontagne on the opening sets.

News and Notes:

This weekend: Snakes on a Motherf#$%in Plane!

I’m so far behind on music reviews it’s scary but lately I’ve been enjoying the Caesars, the new Guster and Joseph Arthur’s Redemption’s Son. I’ll throw up some more choice reviews in time.

Two weeks and counting to ND football!

Until next time:

“Oh, this is just wrong. Even for you. Look at her.”

“I have watched you pull out a man’s eyes from his head and make him dance like a marionette with his own optic nerves.”

“At least I didn’t break his heart.”

“You don’t know that.”

Welcome to the S.H., bitch!

Due to the summer lull, I’ve been re-watching some of last season's rerun/Tivo’d shows. Damn there was some great stuff last year.

So how screwed up are the Emmys? Check out this article detailing the nomination of Ellen Burstyn for Supporting Actress in a Movie/Mini-Series. Ms. Burstyn was nominated for a role in which she was on-screen for a grand total of 14 seconds and spoke a whopping 2 whole lines! Way to go Emmy, you're officially one step away from Grammy-level irrelevance. The only difference is they managed to have a category last year consisting of Eric Clapton, Robert Plant, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young and… Rob Thomas? One of these things is not like the other…

Then again, I’m fairly certain that the people on the Grammy nomination committees actually listen to the music they nominate. They just have no taste. Moving on…

The big surprise announcement out of the Mac Worldwide Developers Conference this year is: absolutely nothing. Ok, maybe that’s a little mean. They did show off their 10 big features of Leopard, some of which do look pretty cool. But note to Steve Jobs: if you’re not going to really blow people off their feet with your announcements, stop taking the cheap pot shots at Microsoft. You’re just coming off as petty. We already don’t really care for Bill Gates. Just stick to your products and let the blogosphere make the anti-Redmond wisecracks. We’re already petty. That’s why we blog.

So Logan Huntzberger is going to be playing the half-brother of Logan Echolls this year! That’s right Matt Czuchry is guest starring on an episode of Veronica Mars. Cheap stunt? Maybe. But it’s pretty friggin’ cool.

Caught Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby this weekend. I laughed like hell. Not as good or even as funny as Little Miss Sunshine, the movie subscribes to the same “fling jokes at the wall and see what sticks” method as previous Will Ferrell fare (this time without a Wilson brother to be seen). Does it succeed? For the most part. The cast is fantastic. Ali G himself Sacha Baron Cohen as the Ferrell's gay French rival is hilarious. John C. Reilly could sit staring at a wall for two hours and he’d keep me entertained. Gary Cole: is there a more underappreciated comedic actor working today? This man steals the show in anything he’s in and the same is true here with him playing Ferrell’s estranged father. He has one scene towards the end where you think it’s going to be a beautiful touching moment and suddenly Cole just turns it on its ear. As for Ferrell, he’s playing pretty much the same role he always does as the idiot man-boy but by God he’s just that damn good at it. His saying Grace at dinner had me rolling. I enjoyed this much more the first time around then I did Anchorman. We’ll see how it holds up on subsequent viewings.

News and Notes:

FINALLY, I get to see my Mets who are coming into town this weekend. Right now it looks to be Steve Trachsel pitching who did a nice little job last night against San Diego holding them to 2 runs. Hopefully he’s getting back into the grove after the past two months of rising ERA.

August 23^rd: The big day when Nintendo is set to announce the info on all things Wii (hehe, wee…). Price, date, super secret surprises like Mario Galaxy being a launch title? Who knows? All I know is that it’s not going to cost $400 like the Xbox360 or $600 like the Playstation 3 (hey Sony, I don’t care that much about Blu-Ray).

Alright, until next time:

“Baby, she said she doesn't want to be helped.”

“If J.D. were drowning and he told you he didn't want you to save him, wouldn't you do it?”

“That depends. What if there're hot chicks at the pool? Maybe he wants one of them to jump in and save him?”

“Let's say there's no women.”

“There's always women at the pool, baby!”

“Fine. He's in a pond.”

“Oh, I would never swim in a pond! They're infamous for serpents!”

“You could swim at the Y on Tuesdays - men only.”

“Have you been to the Y on man night? Not me.”

“Ok, fine! Turk's the one who's drowning!”

“Oh! So now a brother can't swim!”

You're not speaking because of Friedrich Nietzsche?

I get no kick from Mustard…

So another week, another post. Let’s get to it:

Random news and notes:

The new Warner officially announced yesterday that the next Batman movie will be titled “The Dark Knight” and will star Heath Ledger as the Joker. Awesome title. As for the Ledger, I don’t have a problem with it. The guy’s a good actor despite not always choosing great roles *cough* Four Feathers *cough*. So far we haven’t really seen him do anything we could compare to this role. But I have faith he can put in an interesting performance. It’ll take a lot to beat the quintessential Joker performance which is of course NOT Jack Nicholson but rather Mark Hamill’s portrayal in Batman the Animated Series and it’s subsequent spinoffs. Nothing again Nicholson but Hamill added menace to the insanity while Nicholson just acted over the top crazy. I hope they stick closer to Timm’s version in the new movie. My personal pick? Benecio Del Toro. Check out his Jackie Boy in Sin City and tell me he couldn’t have pulled it off.

Just a quick IT help notice for you: If your Norton Antivirus keeps popping up and error message saying “Norton Antivirus 2006 does not support the repair function”, it’s just a bug in the last update Norton released. Just run liveupdate and it should automatically download a fix for it. The more you know…

Heading to the Guster concert tonight featuring Ray LaMontague and Rogue Wave. Awesome…

Even awesomer: Virgin Music Festival at Pimlico in September. A few in the lineup: Kasabian, New Pornographers, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Keane, Thievery Corporation, The Raconteurs, Gnarls Barkely, The Flaming Lips, The Killers, Red Hot Chili Peppers and a little band known as THE WHO!!!. Tell me this isn’t the greatest concert ever. You can’t do it. Not only does that list contain some of the most innovative artists of today with Jack White, Wayne Coyne, AC Newman and DJ Dangermouse but it got one of the greatest artists ever in Pete Freaking Townshend. Think I’m a little excited?

Caught Little Miss Sunshine last night at Georgetown (I love living in DC, all limited releases make it here). Not only is this is easily the funniest movie I’ve seen this year, it’s easily the funniest movie I’ve seen in the past couple years. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard at a movie. It’s just brilliant. This just shot past Thank You For Smoking as the best movie I’ve seen this year. The cast is just amazing: Greg Kinnear as the hapless Dad trying to pilot his own self-help program. Alan Arkin as the foul mouthed, heroin sniffing grandfather. Steve Carrell as America’s premiere Proust scholar who has recently tried to commit suicide. Paul Dano as the Nietzsche loving son who has taken a vow of silence. Toni Collette as the mother with frayed nerves trying to keep everyone together. And the remarkable performance of Abigail Breslin as the young Olive whose hopes of winning the Little Miss Sunshine beauty pageant is the catalyst for the movie. I don’t want to give anything else away but let’s just say the solution to how to drive the van with a broken clutch is genius and provides multiple instances of amusement. This movie is just amazing. The minute it comes close to you, drop everything and go see it. It’s rolling out over the next few weeks and should be pretty much everywhere by August 18^th. Check here for when it comes by you.

Alright, until next time:

“So we're gonna take all these to the studio”

“Unless you think we're gonna look like schmucks driving the same car.”

“ No. We'd be schmucks in Jettas. In Aston Martin's we look good. And independently wealthy.”

Do not put unauthorized cinnamon on the table!

Alright, I felt so bad about the low level of information in the previous post that I'm doubling up this week to give you some moments of humor and joy:


First off I'm sure everyone has heard of the Steely Dan vs You Me and Dupree battle by now. For those of you not in the know, Steely Dan is pissed because they wrote a song called "My Cousin Dupree" about a slacker who crashes on his family's couch. But they wrote a friggin' hilarious letter to Luke Wilson you can see here:

http://www.steelydan.com/heyluke.html

(thanks for the link Erin)

Also from Ainitcool/YouTube but reposted here...

2 ANIMATICS FROM THE SIMPSONS MOVIE!!!!!!!










Alright you crazy cats enjoy.

Until next time:

"I have learned to accept, Mr. Swearengen, that events sharing some effect on my interest does not make them part of a plot."

"You ain't the center of the universe in other words."

"Exactly."

" Don't that lead you to despair?"

"No sir."

"You're stronger minded than I."

Honey, do I need to recap my Concerned Dad lectures? No running with scissors, no candy from strangers, no smartening up the local criminal element.

Mustard: We wants it. We needs it.

So we’re going just random rumblings today:

Comic Con:

Once again it seems this is less and less to do with comics and more to do with a large platform with which to make announcements. Why is there big Lost panel there? Even more confusing, why is there a Veronica Mars panel? At least Lost you can say is sci-fi but Veronica Mars? But the big announcements:

- New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie out in ’07. See the trailer here. All CG, hopefully they don’t make it too kiddy (did you know that originally first movie was supposedly going to be rated R? Now that would’ve pissed off a lot of parents.).

- Spider-man 3 officially showing off Venom for the first time. Now if someone with a camera phone will kindly post a picture…

- The trailer for the Frank Miller’s 300 (based on the battle of Thermopylae) supposedly was the surprise hit of the show. Now if they’d post it for us people who didn’t happen to be in San Diego. Note to director Zack Snyder: pray that this movie goes off well cause I don’t think you have a shot in hell of doing Watchmen to fanboy standards. It’s just too complex a project to make them all happy and this is their holy grail you’re playing with here.

- Major buzz surround the Tenacious D footage. This can’t get here quick enough.

- Peter Cullen, the original voice of Optimus Prime will in fact voice the character in the upcoming Michael Bay movie. Fanboys everywhere wet themselves.

So not only is Lost going 6 and 16 next season but those first 6 episodes are going to be shot like a “mini-series” according to producers. So we might not even get to really see some characters until the 16 series starts up (correction from an earlier post, it’ll supposedly be in January).

Caught the pilot for the Sci-Fi original series Eureka the other day. Definitely a “meh”. The idea is interesting enough but quite frankly it reminded me of Eerie Indiana meets Northern Exposure meet the X-Files and it does of none of them particularly well. The characters are shallow cutouts pretty much designed to have one trait important to the plot and the humor turning into Sci-Fi turning to just plain bizarre doesn’t blend well just comes off as jarring and choppy.

Got Erin hooked on Veronica Mars. I’m so happy!

I swear I’m the only person in the country who has yet to see Pirate of the Caribbean 2. One of these days…

Alright, this was weak. I’ll do better next time. Look for Ep III commentary soon.

Until next time:

“I would rather die than call that snake charmer for help. He'll never let me hear the end of it!”

“Alright boys you heard your father, we're all gonna die. So you might wanna line yourself up so that the spikes will pierce your brain or heart. Alright, alright lets get started positioning ourselves, no fun bleeding to death.”

I got to admit I always want to get Edgar Allen Poe in a headlock. That thing is like a pumpkin.

Mustard… better than a frying pan to the back of the head.

So I’m going a little technical here and trying out embedded youtube videos. First off youtube? I love it. Best place in the world to find truly random video clips such as William Shatner’s performance of Rocketman (fantastically parodied by Family Guy).

But in the interest of the ongoing debate/war on net neutrality between the telecos who want to be able to splinter the internet according to their whims and everyone else who doesn’t want to be held hostage (yeah, you can tell what side I’m on), this video is at once friggin hilarious and frightening as you realize that these people are who are deciding the fate of the net and the best way they can describe the internet is that it’s not a big truck you can dump stuff on….

Yeah, I send internets back and forth all the time. You putz.

Oh and before anyone cries foul over what side I’m on, yes I realize that right now this debate is all over theoretical future uses of the internet. Despite the Senators problems with sent internets, at this point traffic is not so congested as to be causing real problems. Will Hi-Def video on demand cause the “series of tubes” to fill up? Maybe.

In the end we the consumers are still getting stuck with the price tag for it whether it be passed down from the telecos/ISPs charging more for their bandwidth or the online companies passing the extra charges they have to pay to the telecos for using the “fastlane” tier. But personally, I’d rather it be an open internet we’re all paying more for than to have the telecos be able to extort money in order to ensure prompt delivery from certain sites while they themselves have the ability to ensure other content (perhaps their own competing content?) get through just fine.

If you want to know more about net neutrality (as I’ve been talking about it in terms of people who are familiar with the current situation), try here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Net_neutrality. Note that it’s under dispute as to it’s neutrality (which is pretty damn funny if you think about it), but I think it highlights the issues pretty well. Let’s face it, any article that highlights a contentious debate is going to have its neutrality disputed if one side doesn’t think it helps them enough.

Music You Should Be Listening To:

Joshua Radin – We Were Here

So Mr. Radin went out and got him self signed by a big time label. This has lead to a lot more production than his more sparse EP. It definitely throws you off when some of the changes sneak up on you. Closer appropriately takes the spotlight on this album as it’s easily his best song. The added background bells and strings only add stronger emphasis to Radin’s remarkably strong hooks and lyrics. Interestingly enough Today has actually had the production dropped from its performance on the EP to being a simple acoustic number. Everything is Gonna be Alright brings to mind a simple acoustic James Taylor. Sundrenched World has a little Elliot Smith to it while Star Mile reminds me of a good Nickel Creek number with maybe even a little folksy Simon & Garfunkel sneaking in. Overall Radin proves that he’s got what it takes to move up to the big leagues. Plus it doesn’t hurt to have buddy Zach Braff plugging for him.

Alexi Murdoch – Time Without Consequence

Talk about a guy who wears his Nick Drake influences on his sleeve, Murdoch is also making his jump from EP to full on album complete with upped production. But if he keeps putting out albums like this, I can’t complain about any aping of Drake. Both All of My Days and Song For You have the up front, very deliberate guitar picking complete with back strings. On Home, Murdoch suddenly decided to hop into Thom Yorke Radiohead land. It’s entertaining if a little seemingly out of left field. And Orange Sky has received a face lift after the EP version appeared in just about every movie and tv soundtrack in the past four years to feature independent music. Aided now by a piano and a clapping percussion, Murdoch’s re-recording seems to have a more confident sound to it.

News and notes:

Ok, so what the hell, Lost apparently is only going to have 6 new non-interrupted episodes this fall and then 16 non-interrupted in the spring? So that means it stops in November and doesn’t start back up again til February? No me gusta!

Oh, and this is friggin hilarious (Warning! Crude language ahead! You’ve been warned!)

Until next time:

“Is your Daddy here? Or is he busy peeking in people's windows?”

“You stop dressing up like Little Bo Peep, he'll stop peeking.”

I am sitting in the charred remains of my once-mighty Flying Cocoon. Anyone want to explain why my Cocoon is charred?

Back in yellow, I hit the… Mustard…?

Anyways, so after last weeks debacle of Emmy noms, I’m staying the hell away from that topic this week. So what do we move onto? How bout the fact that once again the National League CANNOT win an All-Star game. Why do I care so much? Cause this year the Mets may actually have a shot at the series and wouldn’t that have been nice to have home field advantage?

How bout that David Wright though? Runner up in the HR Derby and hitting a homer in his first All-Star at-bat? Now consider this: he’s only making $370,000 this year as part of a 1 year contract. The Mets sure as hell better make sure they take care of him the minute this season is over. I’m talking 5 or 6 year multi-million dollar offer because this kid is someone to start building a team around and he’s only 23! Ditto Jose Reyes. I was rough on the guy last year when he didn’t exhibit the ability to take a pitch but he’s grown up this year in a big way and come on, 6 more stolen bases than the 2^nd place SB leader?

Oh and Carlos Beltran stealing like a maniac? When he’s healthy, he’s worth every penny they paid for him.

I don’t care what people are saying, I’ve seen Superman Returns twice now and it’s a good movie. It earns points automatically by not having the resolution be Superman flying backwards around the earth to turn back time (why the hell would that stop the earthquake from happening all over again? Can someone please explain that to me?). Yeah, it’s a little long. Yeah, people who didn’t care for the original Donner movies might get annoyed at the constant references to them. No, I don’t think it’s better than Batman Begins. But it's infinitely better than Superman 3 and yeah, that’s a low standard to meet but then again, Superman 4 didn’t manage to hurdle it. The casting is well done. Brandon Routh makes both an excellent Clark Kent and Superman. No, he’s not as good as Christopher Reeve but come on, you can’t fault the guy for not living up to that. Kate Bosworth’s Lois Lane bothered a lot of people, but not me. Maybe it’s cause I never like the Margot Kidder Lois (honestly, she wasn’t “spunky”, she was a pain in the ass). I like Kevin Spacey’s Luthor, however I was a little disappointed where they took the character or rather where they didn’t go. There’s a great line where in the beginning of the movie as Luthor exclaims that he’s not a God because “Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind.” I thought, wow maybe their really going to get who Lex Luthor is. Not necessarily a cheesy super villain but rather a man who, while he is unscrupulous and power hungry, also views Superman as a threat to all humanity. But after that interesting beginning, they end up going the crazy real estate Hackman-esque scheme which doesn’t really develop Luthor into anything more than a jerk who wants money and power. But I can’t fault Spacey for that. Kal Penn is excellent as the guy who nods. He may only have one line in the movie. I say “may” because it’s a line spoken off screen in a group so you’re not exactly sure who said it. Overall though this was a good reboot for the series and Joss Whedon now has the pressure on as he takes on the last leg of the DC Universe pillars with Wonder Woman.

Music you should be listening to:

The Mountain Goats – The Sunset Tree

My thanks to Crowley for giving me the heads up on this band. Reminding me much of Bright Eyes’ I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning only with less of a country and more lo-fi rock slant, this not a happy album. Focusing mainly on the childhood trauma at the hands of an abusive step-father, there’s enough pain going on here to fill an Elliot Smith album. In fact the song Pale Green Things does remind me of a soft Smith number. Up the Wolves uses a brilliant analogy of the story of Romulus and Remus to the overcoming of physical and more importantly emotional abandonment. The catchy upbeat tempo of Dance Music plays an effective counterpoint to not so upbeat lyrics. By far the best number though is the biting This Year. The minimal drums and guitar adds emphasis on the lyrics and the desperation in the chorus of “I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me”. Bleak? A little. Excellent album? Absolutely.

The Flaming Lips – At War with the Mystics

Let’s face it, either you like the Flaming Lips or you don’t. If you couldn’t stand Yoshimi Versus the Pink Robots, don’t bother with this album. Lucky for me, I loved those Pink Robots, so Mystics is right up my alley. The album is a little more mainstream pop/rock (if any Flaming Lips album can be call “mainstream”) than Yoshimi but that’s not necessarily a terrible thing. Take the Yeah Yeah Yeah song. Probably the most radio friendly song on the album, it starts out with a steady chorus of “yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah” before breaking into a uptempo jam complete with vocalizer (man, between these guys and Imogen Heap, the vocalizer sure is making a comeback). Free Radicals crosses a funk guitar base with the electric trappings of Beck (minus all the Spanish). It Overtakes Me harkens back to Yoshimi with its sirens, spacey electric distortion and any number of seemingly random musical effects. Mr. Ambulance Driver has been put through a little more production since it’s appearance on the Wedding Crashers soundtrack but still maintains it’s soft, melancholy tone. On the whole I still think I prefer Yoshimi however I have no qualms putting this album right beside it.

Until next time:

“Logan, can I have a word”

“Anthropomorphic. All yours, big boy.”

I look like Santa’s magic janitor.

So the Emmy nominations came out and I quickly realized there had to have been some mistake. After proudly announcing a new selection system that would be sure to give more shows a chance to be recognized, the Academy promptly went out and nominated the same shows it always does.

In my confusion I quickly dialed up the Academy to find out what happened:

Me: So how did that new selection system work out for you?

Academy: Oh terrific. It allowed us to continue to nominate the same old things, but we can pretend we tried a lot harder.

Me: Hey, wouldn’t be great if maybe some of the great work done by Lauren Graham was finally rewarded?

The Academy: Lauren who? Nah, we don’t know her, she sounds new and what’s new is weird and scary to us. Let’s nominate Stockard Channing. Wait, what’s that you say? Her show was canceled after 14 episodes? Eh, that doesn’t bother us. After all, we nominated Kevin James and he really hasn’t done quality acting in all eight years of the King of Queens.

Me: Well how about Kristen Bell and Veronica Mars?

Academy: Hell, no, that’s on UPN. We don’t award shows on UPN. That’s why we also didn’t nominate Everybody Hates Chris.

Me: You know, I hear that Donald Faison easily had one of the greatest season performances ever over on Scrubs not to mention that John C. McGinley has done as consistently good a job over the years as the aforementioned Lauren Graham?

Academy: Donald Faison? Wasn’t he the guy from Clueless? And John McGinley? Nah, not lovable enough. How bout that Jon Cryer and that Sean Hayes. Those guys are lovable. We can’t tell which is which but man oh man they bring a smile to our face.

Me: Aren’t you a little worried that next year you’re losing 4 of your nominees for Lead Actress in a Comedy?

Academy: Oh don’t worry, we’ve been scouring the ranks of the CBS sitcoms and we’ll have them ready to be plugged in come next year.

Me: Now, I’m a little confused here. Lost won best Drama series last year and this year it doesn’t even get nominated? And wasn’t the Sopranos supposed to be not nearly as good this year as in the past? And 24, though I dearly love the show, isn’t that the equivalent of nominating a Michael Bay movie for best picture?

Academy: Well, you don’t understand. The Sopranos has to be nominated every year, much like Will & Grace and the West Wing and all the shows in the past that have been nominated regardless of peaking and waning quality. And as for 24, Pearl Harbor was only the greatest movie ever! It’s a travesty it wasn’t nominated for an Oscar!

Me: How do you sleep with yourself at night?

Academy: On top of a big pile of money surrounded by many beautiful women.

You know what folks? I just don’t even know anymore. I’ll cheer for the Comedy Series race as Arrested Development, Scrub, the Office and Curb Your Enthusiasm go head to head but if Two and a Half Men win (why the hell is this nominated over Entourage? It's makes no goram sense!) I’m just going to officially declare the Emmys worthless. On a scale of 1 to 10 they are at .05 with how much I care mostly due to that category and Jeremy Piven’s nomination (I loved Will Arnett in AD but Jeremy Piven absolutely deserves to win). Normally I just don’t give that much of a rats ass but with the hype surrounding the new system I thought maybe some of the great shows would finally get recognized. I guess I also should’ve started believing in Leprechauns while I was at it.

Until next time:

“What the hell are we supposed to do with this crap? Make them laugh so hard they blow malt liquor out their noses?”
“No, I think you’ll have that covered when you storm the room in butterfly uniforms.”
“Oh ha ha ha ha ha. Nice onesie, Dick. Put snaps in the back so you can make poopie?”
“This is a speed suit, mister, not a onesie.”
“Fine. Maybe they’ll think you’re a three-year old with pyrexia and take pity on us.”

I'm not going to flush. Let them see the wrath of the Monarch!

I’ve given a name to my pain, and it is Mustard.

So normally I don’t dive into the media hot topic of the day but this whole MySpace thing has just pushed me over the edge. Parents: Take some frakking responsibility and know what your kids are doing. Ignorance of technology is no excuse for lazy-ass parenting. Don’t blame MySpace because it’s just the newest hottest way of people contacting one another that allows for anonymousness (and yes, that really is the noun form of the word). I would never wish for horrible things to happen to children and am in no way excusing the behavior of people who use social networking tools for nefarious purposes but in the end if your children don’t know any better than to agree to meet a strange person they have only spoken to through electronic means then you need to be responsible for making sure that doesn’t happen. You can buy tons of software that monitors which sites your kids go to or even block such sites if you don’t want them to go there at all. And don’t give me the excuse of “well my kids will just figure out a way around it”. If parents start using the excuse that they can’t parent properly because their kids are smarter than them…

I’m sick and tired of parents saying that something is dangerous because they don’t want to take the time to monitor their childrens’ actions. Let’s ban violent videogames? DON’T LET YOUR KIDS PLAY THEM!!! You don’t need to waste time that could be spent helping to solve legitimate problems to pass laws about not selling violent videogames to young children if you simply don’t let the kids play them. Hey here’s an idea: don’t let your kids have a TV and Xbox in their room. That way those crazy kids can’t hide what they’re playing from you. But what if the kids find ways to get around that? If parents start using the excuse that they can’t parent properly because their kids are smarter than them…

The funny part about these current problems is that a good majority of them are going to go away in the next 10 years or so. Why? Because the current generation of people who are starting to have kids are the people who grew up riding the current wave of video games and internet creation. They know what’s out there. They grew up with this technology and see it less as a big scary incomprehensible monster and more as a tool that can be monitored and controlled. Yes, kids are always going to find ways to get into trouble. That’s what they do. But the social networking and videogame “problems” will die down to make way for the next new thing parents can point their finger at and scream “danger”. Remember when rock ‘n roll was going to ruin the world?

So that’s my rant on society for the day.

Vegas baby, Vegas! So a quick long weekend and a little lighter in the pocket, it was a damn fine way to spend 4 days. Well, 4 1/2 if you count the almost 7 hour we spent at the airport on Sunday night waiting for our really red eye flight home. But it was a whole lot of fun. Gotta say though, on our last day, Erin and I hit up this little divey casino called O'Sheas right next the Margaritaville entrace at the Flamingo. It was fantastic. Dollar domestic drafts, friendly dealers who were spending lots of time helping out newbies at the craps table and cocktail waitresses that actually came around often to give you drinks. Hours at the Bellagio and I didn't see one damn waitress but, 5 minutes at this place and I had a Corona in my hand. If you're a low key, pub kinda person, try this place out over the overblown, snootier resort casinos. You'll have 10 time more fun.

Caught Nacho Libre last weekend (4 weeks in a row! Though it won’t be 5 as I didn’t get out this weekend). Honestly, watch the movie trailer. If you don’t find it funny, then don’t see this movie cause you’re not getting anything different from the rest of the move. I enjoyed it as the goofy it was. It’s not going to top Thank You For Smoking as the funniest movie of the year but it has some laughs. Jack Black has a few great moments and plays the role of a fat-monk-turned-luchador straight which I enjoyed immensely. But like I said, don’t look for anything different from the trailers with this.

News and Notes:

I saw Kevin “E” Connelly and Nicky Hilton in Vegas this weekend! They walked right by my in the Bellagio casino. It’s funny how most people were screaming for Nicky but me and Erin were just like holy crap, it’s E from Entourage!

Also saw Dr. J and he is not looking so good these days.

Superman comes out on Friday. Just in time for my birthday!

Also, I trust Entourage at this point but the whole troublesome visiting friend character is starting to give me uneasy twinges of an “Oliver” scenario. Let’s hope this is quickly resolved.

Venture Bros. is back and that first episode gave a whole lot of hope for this season being even better than the first. The ex-henchman group counseling session was just hilarious not to mention how the whole boys being dead thing was handled.

Until next time:

“The tumor was benign. It's just that, well…we cannot find it.”
“What do you mean you 'can't find it'?”
“Well we took it out and, I don't know. When I finished sewing you up, I turned around and it was... just gone.”
“Gone? Well. I want a second opinion. Oh wait, I'm a doctor! I can give myself one! You suck, and I'm leaving.”

You boys look angry. If there was plastic on the floor I'd think I was about to be whacked

Mustard: Let’s hug it out bitch!

God I love Entourage. Could it be at a better time than Sunday nights during the summer? Perfect way to close down the weekend. I’m loving the current season so far. Granted it’s only been one episode but the writers have lost none of the quality from last season. James Woods guest role was fan-friggin-tastic. Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold is just brilliant and if it came down to it I don’t now who the hell I’d pick for an Emmy between him and John C McGinley’s Dr. Cox. They’re just too damn good. Lloyd!

Also back and in brilliant form: Deadwood. This show takes a while to grow into but once you get used to the fact that this is no low-brow western show but something that approaching a dialogue of Shakespearean complexity combined with more profanity than should be perfectly legal in a TV show, it’s just an amazing show. Ian McShane’s Al Swearengen is more badass than Jack Bauer and he does it all without a super all-purpose PDA!

Caught Cars this weekend (and for those of you playing the home game, that’s a movie 3 weeks in a row). While it’s not my favorite Pixar movie, it beats the living hell out of 99% of kids movies out there today. I never thought I’d ever say this but Larry the Cable guy actually made an endearing and entertaining character. Man I feel dirty. Paul Newman and Owen Wilson give good performances as it’s generally expected they would. Michael Keaton plays a good cocky villain/rival role. John Ratzenberger has some great lines (stay through the credits). And awesome cameo by Jeremy Piven as Owen Wilson’s agent (see above). Look, it’s Pixar. These guys know how to make a damn good movie. I’m really excited for their upcoming Ratatouille next summer.

Music you should be listening to:

Matt Nathanson – At the Point (live)
I have to say this is one of the few albums that actually grab the feeling of a live concert. Half the fun of a Matt Nathanson concert is his back and forth with the audience. He does it better than anyone and he’s got a great sense of humor. This is all captured excellently on this disc with such great moments of him introducing a song written about a girl who was cheating on him as “a song about sharing”. Or when he tells the story about how he broke up with a girl, wrote a whole album about it and then how awkward it was as they ended up getting back together. He plays a good selection with most of it being his recent stuff though he does dip back into some old EPs. It’s also all acoustic so he gets to show off his 12-string guitar playing a little better than on some of his more produced albums.

The Wrens – The Meadowlands
This is a fun though more obscure album. The House That Guilt Built starts things off extremely slow at lo-fi Elliot Smith standards (complete with crickets playing in the background) before building into Happy with strained vocals that would do Billy Corgan proud. Things finally start up on This Boy is Exhausted which brings up memories of the latest New Pornographers album. Faster Gun has a fun upbeat tempo while Everybody Chooses Sides is the late peak of the album with it’s cranked up distortion and pounding drums. Give the Wrens a try.

News and Notes:

Mets are on a friggin’ knock-on-wood roll right now, winning 7 in a row all on the road. Get those votes in for David Wright as starting 3B on the NL All Star Team.

Though 99.9% of American doesn’t seem to care, it’s been a pretty decent NHL finals with Carolina leading 3-2 after a nasty overtime game last night where Edmonton had a fantastic goal for the win.

Yeah, I know I should probably care more about the World Cup right now but as my uncle once said: Soccer is a wuss sport.

Please note it was my uncle who said it, not me. If you’ve got issues with that statement, please direct them to him.

Until next time:

“But Sloane is never wrong. You know she saw Johnny Depp in Platoon when she was eight years old and she said, ‘Dad, that's the guy to watch.’”
“You showed her Platoon when she was eight years old?”
“Oliver did. He wanted feedback.”

I'd make you swear on a bible, but I know how contact with Holy stuff makes your skin sizzle.

Here’s a little payback Mustard-style!

Another week, another blog, another day of weather.com predicting isolated thunderstorms. I wonder if the people there just take the summer off and set the website to display the isolated thunderstorm icon every day.

Anyways, so the NHL finals are Edmonton vs. Carolina. Not exactly the most fantastic matchup to get the ratings pouring in but for hockey fans, seeing Edmonton back in the finals is a fun sense of nostalgia. Unless of course you hate Canadians.

So I haven’t done music in forever so without further ado…

Music You Should Be Listening To:

Mike Doughty – Haughty Melodic
This guy seems to be the go-to person for TV shows these days as he’s had his songs in both Grey’s Anatomy and Veronica Mars. Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well gets things off with a bang with a crazy wall of sound pouring over you. Doughty has an interesting lyrical delivery, something just a little off which reminds me, of all bands, Carbon Leaf. This is especially noticeable on the songs Unsingable Name and the excellent I Hear the Bells. Definitely a good car ride album.

Gomez – How We Operate
A little more low key, the album starts out nice easy with the nice violin infused Notice before moving only a step faster with See the World which you could almost see John Mayer covering on his next tour. But things really start moving with Girlshapedlovedrug which I’m still wondering how it wasn’t on the last Rhett Miller album. It’s a pretty strong album and I highly recommend it.

Sun Kil Moon – Tiny Cities
So you want the weirdest idea ever? Take Mark Kozelek, the lead man (and eventually only man) of the Red House Painters and have him play and entire acoustic album consisting of nothing but Modest Mouse covers. That’s right, crazy, blood pumping, ass kicking Modest Mouse done by a guy who gives Iron & Wine a run for most laid back artist ever. But it’s a fantastic album. All these songs are completely toned down to Red House Painter levels, meaning just soft, acoustic, singer-songwriter with a minimum of backup. It works because it gives throws the music in a different direction. Modest Mouse lyrics direct pain through anger. Kozelek drops the anger act and rather acts on the sadness behind the pain creating a whole new sound. No where is this more apparent than on his cover of the Ocean Breathes Salty. The title track is also a remarkable addition to the album that should not work but yet succeeds amazingly well.

Pavement – Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
Yeah, I don’t know why but lately I’ve been getting into this album. It’s just a lot of fun. Upbeat tempos and and warbling crooning lead singer? Yeah, I’ll admit, I really am filling in the hole that exists from my desire for a new Thrills album. True their sound is exactly like the Thrills but listen to Range Life and tell me you couldn’t hear this as a new cover. Anyways, love the sound on Elevate Me Later and the piano backing on Gold Sounds.

Caught The Breakup last weekend. Here’s the deal, this isn't Wedding Crashers so don’t think you’re getting that Vince Vaughn. This has kind of an indie feel to it in that it’s not a straight up romantic comedy and it’s not a frat-pack comedy. It’s about two people just emotionally beating the hell out of each other cause neither could stand to be the “loser” in their breakup. Think War of the Roses. Don’t get me wrong, it’s got some pretty friggin hilarious moments. The supporting cast is ridiculously strong with Jason Bateman having a great scene and Jon Favreau hasn’t been this funny in I don’t know how long. I liked this movie a lot and it’s a good but not great movie. One thing is that the titular “break up” happens way too quick. The only chance we have to be emotionally invested in this couple’s relationship is in the credits as we see a photo montage of them being together. I would’ve like to know why this breakup is so painful. The major major I-effing-hate-this-crap problem I had was with the ending. Some studio executive should be shot over this tacked on last scene which made me want to hurl something at the screen. The ending song of “I Can See Clearly Now” make no frakking sense and does not at all fit with the tone of the movie. Holy crap, you can’t treat your audience like they’re intelligent throughout the entire movie and then decide that we’re all effing morons for the very last scene. And it’s a shame because for a good little movie, this is the thing I most remember about it. And that sucks. See the movie. Plug your ears and stop watching for the last scene.

New and Notes:

Episode II commentary is now up and running. That didn’t take too long now did it? I’ll be quicker with the next. I’m finding that my intial HTML coding the first time around was abysmal so I’m having to do a lot of fixing of that as I add in the commentary.

Random I know but can someone tell me why the hell Doritos has a new commercial starring the crappy 1998 American version of Godzilla? I mean I don’t get it. It doesn’t seem to be ironic. There’s no new Godzilla movie coming out. It’s like the Doritos marketing group had no money to spend on anything current and so they dropped back to a horrendous movie from the late 90’s. WTF?

This is awesome and hilarious all at the same time: http://eepybird.com/dcm1.html

Until next time:

“Danni, we need to move on, okay? No more thinking about our exes; no more waiting for the phone to ring; no more stealing her purse just so you can return it later in the hopes that she'll be so grateful, she'll use the money recovered to buy you a drink and maybe have sex with you after.”

“Did that work?”

“I stole the wrong purse... and yes!”

Why is it every time I need to get somewhere we get waylaid by jackassery?

Mustard in the morning, Mustard in the evening, Mustard at dinner time

So another week, another episode of the Mustard. Hope everyone had a lovely Memorial Day. I spent it doing absolutely nothing! Mwa ha ha! Ok, so that’s not true. Erin’s birthday was on Sunday so that was a fun time. Though my sad attempt at a devil’s food cake ended up with a large crater in the middle of it. I mean come on, it shouldn’t be that hard to just make a normal looking cake.

Final season finale wrap up:

I didn’t mention it the other week, but Malcolm in the Middle actually had its series finale the other week. I was happy I caught it as it was a good little way to send off the show. I feel bad for it as quite frankly, it’s always been a pretty funny show with consistently good performances by the cast but Fox has treated it worse than NBC treats Scrubs by moving it all over the place. I mean Fridays? It was much better off in the Sunday at 7:30 slot.

So Alias is over and though I really never watch it consistently until the 2^nd half of this season, J.J Abrams makes a quality spy show and the finale I think just showed that the show was going out on top quality-wise.

Lost – fantastic finale. So now we know why the plane crashed if not definitively how. I’m guessing Desmond is now gone and if so that really sucks as in one episode he ended up being more interesting than half the regulars on the show. But the writers have given us a lot of answers without really giving us any. For one, the island exists in the real world as the last shot is the first “current” scene to take place off the island. So see ya Purgatory theory. Also I think it’s pretty clear that the Pearl monitoring station was the real test based on all the vacuum canisters just being dumped in the middle of nowhere (but who was in that station?). There is some force at work keeping people on the island (Desmond not being able to sail away) but it appears that there is a way out (fake Henry telling Michael to sail off at a specific degree). But man, I wanted more. Are Michael and Walt gone for good or at least downgraded to flashback guest stars? Eko and Locke will be just fine as they’re the two most popular characters on the show and if they get killed off you can be sure the writers will make sure we see it. But all in all I can’t wait for next season.

So now that the ’05-’06 season if officially over, there’s nothing left right? On the contrary, there are 3 big shows that start up in the next few weeks that should get you through the summer.

The big one is of course Entourage starting back up next Sunday. During its hiatus I managed to catch up on Season 1 and it’s pretty remarkable the jump between Season 1 and 2. Not that one was bad, but two was just outstanding. Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold gets all the accolades but the one every should be paying attention is eternal C-movie star Johnny Drama. Who knew that Kevin Dillon would be the Dillon brother I actually enjoyed watching?

Deadwood is also starting up again and there’s just something about the show that makes you want to keep watching. The gritty, pull-no-punches approach to the old west just makes for a compelling show and damned if Ian McShane’s Al Swearengen is one of the greatest characters currently on TV.

Also coming back is a show that really needs more accolades. The Venture Bros is one of the greatest spoofs ever on TV and its first season was funnier than probably the last 5 seasons of the Simpsons put together. Granted being familiar with the old Johnny Quest show helps you key in to more of the jokes but the show by itself is just hysterical.

Scrubs Soundtrack Vol 2 is currently up as an iTunes exclusive. If you liked the first one, this is right up your alley. Taking songs from Season 2 all the way up to this last one, you’ve got such show mainstays as Colin Hay, Josh Radin, Cary Brothers and Rhett Miller. The only downside is that quite frankly the show has so many great songs on it during the last 5 seasons that I’m waiting eagerly for Vol 3.

David Wright = future of the Mets. The man is just unbelievable considering this is his 2^nd season! And Paul LoDuca is making me question the team’s sanity for keeping Mike Piazza for so long. Carlos is finally breaking out and showing that he wasn’t just a one trick pony in the playoffs two years ago.

Also caught X3 this weekend or as it’s officially titled: X-men: The Last Stand. I was amazingly not disappointed in the movie. I went in with the lowest expectations possible due to the pre-release buzz but I honestly enjoyed myself. No, it’s not as good as X2 but c’mon that was never going to happen. I still can’t stand Halle Berry as Storm but that’s no different than normal. The rest of the cast does just fine. My big complaint is that the movie was just too damn short. There are a lot of great ideas in the movie that really never get explored. They introduce a ton of new characters but they never have time to really do anything much with them. I mean Colossus gets maybe one line in the whole damn movie! I wanted more. But I suppose I should just be grateful that, with how fast Fox pushed this movie out, it turned out as well as it did. Oh, and for those of you who haven’t seen it there is a quick but MAJOR scene after the credits that had everyone at the theater going “Holy S@#%!”

Until next time:

“You scheme was very clever, very clever indeed, but he's no ghost!”

“Oh ya think genius? What tipped you off - was it the huge zipper, maybe the rubber mask? But you had to kill him anyways. If you'd played by the rules - the ghost pirate rules - and just run away, none of this would be happening! But nooo, you had to go nuts and kill a guy!”

And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection — classic Dorian.

Wherefore art thou Mustard?

Alright, so I took last week off. Why? Cause I was busy as all hell and didn’t have time to write.

So tis the time of year where we say goodbye to all our company. By which I mean it’s finales week. The score thus far:

Prison Break: Meh. I mean come on, they’ve got the damn cops like 30 feet behind them and five guys running across an open field are supposed to get away. I know this show is built on ridiculously convenient twists but unless Geordi LaForge beams them out, they’re screwed. Good double switch on the Vice President killing off the President though.

24: Um, anyone notice that the terrorists were beaten 15 mins into the two hour finale? Yeah, it was great finally seeing Logan get his comeuppance but it was fairly obvious how that was going down. Great job though bringing back the Chinese problem from last season. Anyone else notice how by the 2^nd hour they pretty much gave up on the realtime format? Jack Bauer was on a Chinese freighter to Shang-hai after being beaten half to death about 2 minutes after he was kidnapped in the middle of a government operation.

The O.C.: They killed of Marissa. I don’t care. They crafted a well shot sequence tying back the burnt house from season one, even including the same song in the background but by a different person. I don’t care. Caitlin’s back permanently and Volchek is now a murderer who I’m sure will spend half the season running from Ryan’s vengeance. I don’t care. Are we seeing a picture here? This is going up against Grey’s Anatomy next season. See ya.

Greys Anatomy: Denny’s dead. I don’t care. Seriously though I never really saw what was so amazingly super wonderful about the guy. That arc ended exactly as it should so I applaud the writers for not coping out due to his popularity. And Izzy being out of the program? Yeah, she should be. No way in hell should she be a doctor after all that. Again, good job writers. It wasn’t the best finale ever (I know I should be caring about the triangle between Derek, Meredith and Chris O’Donnell [I don’t care what his character’s name is, he’s Chris “look where Batman and Robin got me” O’Donnell] but quite frankly, I don’t really like Meredith either.). But I sure enjoy this show more than the O.C. so it’ll have my spot Thursday next season. Plus the music is pretty good too. I still say it’s an hourlong, overly dramatic Scrubs clone though.

Scrubs: Um, how many pregnancies? Given that Elizabeth Banks is only on for a few episodes next season, I doubt the baby ends up being J.D.’s so was it really necessary to have that cliffhanger? In the end though this season has been one of the best and with the departure of Arrested Development, this show easily is the funniest show on television. If Donald Faison does not get an Emmy… well who am I kidding? He won’t. Sadly that will probably go to Sean Hayes. Look at it this way. Will & Grace is over! This will be their last Emmys!!!

Gilmore Girls: Well that was depressing as hell. I mean come on, did they really have to absolutely trash Luke’s character in order to screw up his relationship with Lorelai? It’ll be interesting to see where they go from here. Logan is back for all of next season so I don’t know how this whole Britain thing will work out. Without the Sherman-Palladinos next season, the writers better start praying they can turn this season into something great next season. I have no doubt the Sherman-Palladinos could have. Without them however…

Alias and Lost finales I’m catching tonight (yes, I know Alias was on Monday. I have it Tivoed). 4 hours of tv goodness.

To be perfectly honest so far the best season finale: Arrested Development. And that was way back in February. Granted it helped that was an excellently crafted series finale. But it was still so far the best.

News and notes:

My little sis (also known by some as EPrime) has graduated BC! So BC gets Condeleeza Rice and ND got me Dick Luger who just rehashed a UN speech? The hell?

Great great article here about emusic.com and how it is a profitable company with a good business model and doesn't have to DRM the crap out of the music it sells like iTunes does. I'm telling you, if you like the music I review on this site or just great non-mainstream music in general, try out this site. So much cheaper than iTunes, the ability to download a purchased song over and over again, and the ability to listen to your non-DRMed music anywhere and on any computer or mp3 player you want is definitely worth supporting.

X3 opens up this weekend. So far mixed reviews but it sounds like longtime fans (particularly those of the Phoenix Saga) are gonna be pissed.

Then again the Da Vinci code got a 22% Rotten Tomato rating and still raked in 77 mil.

Commentary for Ep 2 will be coming shortly. No, I haven’t forgotten about it.

Until next time:

“I’m now hornier than I have ever been and my husband is repulsed by me.”
“Listen, if you really need it that badly, I will suck it up and shut my eyes tight and then do you.”
“Thank you for the sacrifice.”
“It’s because I love you.”

I started an "I hate Cox" chat room. It didn't work out the way I planned. It's just me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians.

It’s a Mustard Twofer!

Ok, so I decided to post an update after the 2^nd half of the day brought several interesting updates.

First off, guess I was only partly right about Libby’s fate on Lost. She was still alive this episode… at least until the end. Supposedly they will be filling in her back story in other flashbacks posthumously (so we get to see her in the background of all of Hurley’s episodes?). I don’t know I buy the whole “we were always gonna get rid of her” schtick the producers are throwing out. I find it hard to believe in the coincidence that they’ve always been planning on killing off both the actresses who got DUI’s even though one of them had just started a storyline and had barely any of her past revealed. But who knows? Maybe I’m just that cynical… ok, I’m definitely that cynical.

So the huge news (and I’m still confused at this timing) is that Nintendo yesterday did indeed unveal SUPER SMASH BROS BRAWL!!! Check out the trailer here and prepare to drool. This game looks amazing. Hell, it even manages to give me a solid challenge to the “graphics” problem I was talking about yesterday. And new characters: Meta-Knight from the Kirby games, Wario, a new suit Samus and I-shit-you-not Solid effing Snake!!! Now that’s a way to win over fanboys (remember Metal Gear was originally an old school 8-bit Nintendo game). Holy crap! And that’s just a few of the new characters. But by breaking out Snake, Nintendo is hinting at more 3^rd party characters appearing *cough* Sonic *cough*. Not to mention the new main theme is written by Nobuo “Mr. Final Fantasy” Uematsu. I won’t lie, Nintendo may have just won me over completely. But we’ll see how things go.

Apparently Sony has been spending the last few days in damage control over their price. Their argument: Well, it’s gonna have a Blu-Ray player included which will make it the cheapest Blu-Ray players currently on the market. Yes, this is true. However, even though the current Blu-Ray players are over a grand right now, that sure as hell isn’t going to last. No way are people going to switch to next generation DVDs if they cheapest player they can get is a PS3 for $500! AND supposedly the $500 version of the PS3 won’t have an HDMI output meaning that you won’t be able to watch these super-awesome-high-def DVDs in the proper format to make it really worth the switch. So Sony, keep up the whining and watch as Nintendo and Microsoft take away your customers. I repeat: You putz!

Veronica Mars finale = Best. Finale. Ever! Ok, maybe not the best ever but damn, that was one helluva final episode. So many things getting wrapped up including major twists and turns on things you thought were long solved. Either way the 2^nd season has been friggin phenomenal and this show needs to be back next year. Hilarious pseudo-fourth wall break when Clarence Weidman is referred to as “CW”.

Until next time:

“Mrs. C! I trust you're well.”
“Well, if it isn't little Miss Teen Getaway. Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.”
“Like Trouble, with a capital T, that rhymes with C, that stands for-”
“Veronica!”
“I was gonna say cute.”

Oh come on, Nate! You're the only guy in North America to have played this game and you still can't kill him?

-Zelda designer having trouble demo-ing the new game.

Mustard: It’s what’s for dinner.

So Nintendo had their big E3 conference yesterday. Yes, I still think the Wii is a terrible name. But damn if some of the things showed yesterday don’t have me a little excited about the new system’s possibilities.

The cool points:

Opening up the conference by showing a game where Shigeru Miyamoto uses the Wii controller to conduct a virtual orchestra in real time. I know this may be the 10 years of Orchestra in me but the fact that the orchestra in the game responds perfect to the conductor was pretty damn cool. Of course they were playing the theme from Zelda and that makes anything cooler.

The games announced for it: Mario Universe = awesome. The new Zelda game is gonna blow everyone away. Metroid Prime 3! Madden that will specifically make use of the new controller (imagine motioning a throw with the controller actually corresponding to your QB throwing in the game). A new Fire Emblem, a new Resident Evil, a new DUCK HUNT!!!! And the Red Steel game looked pretty sweet as you use the controller to perfectly control your sword.

Apparently the Wii will not have an “off” switch so much as a sleep mode where it can still be connected to the internet allowing game designers to upload update to your system as well as in games such as Animal Crossing your friends can leave your messages or visit you while you’re “out”.

The Wii Sport game while graphically deficient, looked pretty fun and definitely showed off the potential of things like a future Mario Tennis title.

The inclusion of a speaker on the controller allowing for a very cool “depth of sound” effect.

The not so cool:

First off, graphically, everything they showed looked like it could’ve been done on the Gamecube. Metroid Prime 3 honestly looks just like Metroid Prime 1 and 2. Zelda is technically a Gamecube game so I didn’t expect anything better, but Metroid is specifically for Wii. And the Wii Sports? WTF with those graphics? Yeah, I know Nintendo’s big point is that “graphics aren’t everything” but at least make it look like you’re trying. It’s not the Xbox360 but the Wii is at least supposed to be more powerful than the Cube so why the hell do the graphics on Wii Sports look like they could’ve been done on the N64? At least put in some effort here, Nintendo.

Where the hell was the new Smash Brothers game? And why nothing more than a few clips from the new Mario game?

No mention of how the Virtual Console will work where you’ll be able to download Nintendo back catalogue of games.

No price or date other than 4^th Quarter of this year. Look if Sony is gonna come out and shoot themselves in the foot by charging 600 eff-ing dollars for they’re new system, Nintendo should’ve come out saying hey, we’re only gonna charge $199 - $249. Lost opportunity on their part.

Overall:

I’m giving Nintendo props for it’s determination to pull in more non-gamers and to take the way games are played in a radically new direction. I really wished they had given more information on the system and shown off the Wii’s capabilities a little more but right now, they’ve got me intrigued.

Putz Patrol:

Way to go Sony. Your system will cost the gross annual income of some 3^rd word countries and your “innovative” controller with “tilt control” is a poor ripoff of Nintendo with very little practical use outside of maybe some driving games. But hey, you’ve got a lead in the video game market share so I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. You Putz.

Until next time:

“Alright people, listen up! We are a family and what do families do when one of their own is in trouble?”
“When my brother Barry came out of the closet my parents send him to hetero-camp.”
“Ok, families that aren't from Connecticut.”

They didn't have 'Say Anything' in Baghdad?

I feel the need, the need for Mustard.

One, two! Two mentions of EavesdropDC on Wonkette! Ah ah ah!

(wow, it must be tough for Sesame St writers to actually write the Count).

Adios Ana Lucia. No one will miss you. And don’t lie. You all hated her. Just cause she’s dead doesn’t mean we have to pretend we cared. But Lost just jumped into overdrive with its story development. Good for them. So a few thoughts from my end:

Michael – Ok, I’ve been pretty much guessing that the Others were going to flip him ever since he went missing. Afterall, the Others only harm the “bad people” and if you look at it, none of the main characters are really that decent people. The ones who are (Claire, Walt, etc) have been taken by them. So what if Michael found out all the bad stuff about his fellow castaways and decides to join the others? But now I’m not as sure that they flipped him as much as they might be blackmailing him with Walt. The way he looked when shooting Ana Lucia and Libby didn’t look like a man who really wanted to do it. Granted he didn’t actually mean to shoot Libby but still. I suppose there’s always the possibility that he did it to frame Henry (which he definitely will be doing) to solidify that they must march again the Others but why? Jack, Kate and Locke already agree that they should. So I’m going with blackmail for now.

Libby – She’s not dead just shot. One, next weeks preview has Kate saying “She’s dead” not “They’re dead”. Two, in the TVguide Ausiello interview with the Lost producers, both of them don’t mention Libby dying, just being shot. Several times in fact. But they do take about Ana Lucia’s death. And finally, what the hell would be the point of having Libby be at the mental hospital with Hurley (and having that ominous reveal of her during Hurley’s flashback) if you’re just gonna kill her off and not go anywhere with it? Lost writers aren’t that flaky. Hell, Ana Lucia’s death has been planned since last year. No, I’m gonna say Libby is very much alive and that super doc Jack will be able to save her.

Jack’s Father – this actor is busier than some of the series regulars! He’s just got connections to everyone. Let’s just pull the ultimate twist and have him be in charge of the Others and get it over with.

As for Alias – awesome seeing Gina Torres back. So can I ask a question? Why the hell are they going with the derivative, let’s-make-a-doppelganger-spy idea that EVERY spy show has done before. Christ people, I remember them using this idea on Get Smart 30 freaking years ago! Now if the plan had been to turn Gina Torres in to Don Adams, that would’ve been original.

News and Notes:

Good bye Rangers. It was nice having you back in the playoffs. Pity you didn’t stay long.

Wow, new Superman, Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Casino Royale trailers up. Liking the look of Superman. I know Pirate is gonna rule. Casino Royale is a little meh. They are totally killing the book. Afterall apparently Americans know nothing of Baccarat (which actually is true) so we must turn the game into Poker. Give us some credit, we’re not going to see Bond play cards, we’re going because it’s Bond. But Daniel Craig looks like a good Bond. If they had just dyed his hair black he would’ve looked much more like the Connery Bond than anyone else to this point.

Just give John C. McGinley the Emmy already. You know he deserves it. He’s even doing the requisite dramatic acting in a comedy series that all comedy Emmys require.

Also for those playing the home game: Scrubs Season 3 – Out next Tuesday. Giggity.

Until next time:

“I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey JD, if you go out would you get a me hot Italian sausage?”

“I got a hot Italian sausage right here. See, people think that I just luck into these situation but it is really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard? Ok, I should go.”