Would you like me to call you a cab, or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?

Time to get a whole team of lawyers who will dine on Mustard flown in from the Orient.

So Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Seriously, isn’t that a little disturbing? I mean not only are we killing the bird for Christmas dinner we have to sing about it? Damn morbid Christmas carols. Moving on…

So the Grammy nominees were announced. Hey look at how many times Mariah Carey was nominated. Thus further cementing the pointlessness of the Grammys. Though perhaps if she doesn’t win anything she’ll have another meltdown. Is that horrible of me? Anyways…

Though I will say it was nice to see the Gorillaz get some recognition. They’re album Demon Days is excellent despite that really weird song with Dennis Hopper reading a fairy tale.

U2 got a helluva lot more than I expected. I mean I love U2 but their last album didn’t exactly flatten me.

If Rob Thomas’ “Lonely No More” beats out Jack Johnson’s “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing”, someone might need to be gravely gravely injured.

Can I get an explanation on how Maroon 5’s “This Love” gets nominated for this year’s awards? The song is like 10 years old.

Someone want to tell me how the ONLY Alternative music category is best alt album? This “Alternative” Field (basically meaning well hell, it’s not the Pop rock like the teeny bopper bands and it’s not rock music like Green Day and it’s not Kanye West so we have no idea where the hell to put it) has nominees of Arcade Fire’s Funeral which I’ve heard is great, Beck’s Guero (in my top 5 albums of the year list), Death Cab for Cutie’s Plans (number one in my top 5 albums of the year), Franz Ferdinand’s new album (Their Do You Wanna single is great) and the White Stripes’ Get Behind Me Satan (I don’t know if it’s in my top 5 but it’s got some great great songs. Oh wait, for some reason they nominated one of them, Doorbell, in the Rock performance category. How the hell does this work?). That’s a pretty good list. SO HOW THE HELL DOES THE EFF-ING POLKA FIELD HAVE MORE CATEGORIES IN IT!?!?!?

You know what, screw it. Ladies and Gentlemen

MY TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2005:

Death Cab for Cutie – Plans
Jack Johnson – In Between Dreams
Ben Folds – Songs for Silverman
Beck – Guero
Gorillaz – Demon Days
Weezer – Make Believe
Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
Bright Eyes – I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning
Shout Out Louds – Howl Howl Gaff Gaff
White Strips – Get Behind Me Satan

Note this list is only for albums that came out in 2005. Some songs got big in ’05 but came out last year (The Killers, Keane) so they’re don’t make the list.

So between Narnia and Syriana last week, King Kong and Geisha this week, Producers and Munich next week, I have crapload of movies I need to catch up on. King Kong is getting done this week. Seriously.

News and Notes:

The strip. Is coming. Along. Very. Slowly. I know. I’m averaging about a panel a day. But what can I say? It’s the holidays and we’re all suffering.

Latest rumors is Arrested Development is being courted by both ABC and Showtime. Damn you, don’t move to Showtime! I don’t have it!

Scrubs is almost back!

The Grinch was on the WB the other night. So good. Why did they have to ruin it in the Jim Carrey evil muppet edition by giving the Grinch a reason to hate Christmas?

Until next time:

“They're actually arresting someone for stealing pudding and toilet paper?”

“No. They found twenty bottles of Vicodin in his backpack. Did you steal pudding and toilet paper?”

“What? No! I hate pudding, and I don't use toilet...paper. I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.”

“Bidet?”

“Bidet to you, sir.”

This is how The Todd gets his self-esteem on

Hey hey, it’s the Mustard.

So tis the season, is it not? You can tell by the marked amount of HOLIDAY SUPER SALE spam I’ve been getting in my inbox. And all of it is pure crap. But the nip is in the air and the apartment is decorated up.

Erin and I celebrated the momentous occasion of getting our first tree (last year doesn’t count because the tree was under 6 feet). It was a wonderful Christmas Sunday involving a tree, a lot of my ornaments scaring Erin (yes, our tree has Darth Vader speaking when you plug the lights in), wine, Christmas Vacation and It’s a Wonderful Life, and a whole lot of sap. Life does not get any better.

It’s been too long since I’ve fully watched It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s really a phenomenal movie. Sure it’s a little saccharine, but it’s never pandering. And it’s not all about the final scene which can melt the heart of any cynic. It’s got some excellent performances and some great dialogue (see Mary yelling upstairs to her nosey mother that George is “making violent love to me”).

So the big TV news is: SCRUBS IS BACK!!!! Starting Tuesdays at 9 in January NBC is running back to back Scrubs episodes. It’s starting out as back to back new episodes though how long that will go remains to be seen. But by god newbie, it’s been way too long.

As far as new TV shows, this season has been pretty disappointing. The only ones I’ve actually gotten into have been Prison Break and HBO’s Rome. Well both of those are over for the season (Prison Break runs it’s 2^nd half starting March). I’ve starting catching My Name Is Earl which is definitely getting funnier as it goes along. Last night’s Christmas episode was classic though damn Brett Butler has gained some weight.

With the decline of the O.C., the only real remaining must see shows for me are Gilmore Girls and Lost (and the Simpsons and Family Guy but those are pretty much just permanent fixtures). I have been catching up on Veronica Mars which is again proving that UPN is run by a bunch of nimrods for putting on against Lost. This show could clean up on a weaker night. Joss Whedon’s cameo = hilarious.

News and Notes

Yeah, the Greece blog and the strip have fallen behind. Sorry people, I’ll get to them. Really.

Wow, was that painful watching the Caps beat the everloving hell out of the Rangers Saturday night.

Is it just me or should Congress have better things to do than getting involved with the BCS selection process.

Go Irish!

Until next time:

“Cliff, come on, you owe me.”
”I owe you? Who unconfiscated all your fake college IDs?”
”Who got the Lincoln out of your ex's name?”
”Well, who helped put that lien against Lee's Walk-In Donut?”
”And who proved that stripper was color-blind?”
”Okay, who am I calling and what am I giving them?”