Oh come on, Nate! You're the only guy in North America to have played this game and you still can't kill him?

-Zelda designer having trouble demo-ing the new game.

Mustard: It’s what’s for dinner.

So Nintendo had their big E3 conference yesterday. Yes, I still think the Wii is a terrible name. But damn if some of the things showed yesterday don’t have me a little excited about the new system’s possibilities.

The cool points:

Opening up the conference by showing a game where Shigeru Miyamoto uses the Wii controller to conduct a virtual orchestra in real time. I know this may be the 10 years of Orchestra in me but the fact that the orchestra in the game responds perfect to the conductor was pretty damn cool. Of course they were playing the theme from Zelda and that makes anything cooler.

The games announced for it: Mario Universe = awesome. The new Zelda game is gonna blow everyone away. Metroid Prime 3! Madden that will specifically make use of the new controller (imagine motioning a throw with the controller actually corresponding to your QB throwing in the game). A new Fire Emblem, a new Resident Evil, a new DUCK HUNT!!!! And the Red Steel game looked pretty sweet as you use the controller to perfectly control your sword.

Apparently the Wii will not have an “off” switch so much as a sleep mode where it can still be connected to the internet allowing game designers to upload update to your system as well as in games such as Animal Crossing your friends can leave your messages or visit you while you’re “out”.

The Wii Sport game while graphically deficient, looked pretty fun and definitely showed off the potential of things like a future Mario Tennis title.

The inclusion of a speaker on the controller allowing for a very cool “depth of sound” effect.

The not so cool:

First off, graphically, everything they showed looked like it could’ve been done on the Gamecube. Metroid Prime 3 honestly looks just like Metroid Prime 1 and 2. Zelda is technically a Gamecube game so I didn’t expect anything better, but Metroid is specifically for Wii. And the Wii Sports? WTF with those graphics? Yeah, I know Nintendo’s big point is that “graphics aren’t everything” but at least make it look like you’re trying. It’s not the Xbox360 but the Wii is at least supposed to be more powerful than the Cube so why the hell do the graphics on Wii Sports look like they could’ve been done on the N64? At least put in some effort here, Nintendo.

Where the hell was the new Smash Brothers game? And why nothing more than a few clips from the new Mario game?

No mention of how the Virtual Console will work where you’ll be able to download Nintendo back catalogue of games.

No price or date other than 4^th Quarter of this year. Look if Sony is gonna come out and shoot themselves in the foot by charging 600 eff-ing dollars for they’re new system, Nintendo should’ve come out saying hey, we’re only gonna charge $199 - $249. Lost opportunity on their part.

Overall:

I’m giving Nintendo props for it’s determination to pull in more non-gamers and to take the way games are played in a radically new direction. I really wished they had given more information on the system and shown off the Wii’s capabilities a little more but right now, they’ve got me intrigued.

Putz Patrol:

Way to go Sony. Your system will cost the gross annual income of some 3^rd word countries and your “innovative” controller with “tilt control” is a poor ripoff of Nintendo with very little practical use outside of maybe some driving games. But hey, you’ve got a lead in the video game market share so I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. You Putz.

Until next time:

“Alright people, listen up! We are a family and what do families do when one of their own is in trouble?”
“When my brother Barry came out of the closet my parents send him to hetero-camp.”
“Ok, families that aren't from Connecticut.”