I hate fake deer, too. Everytime I see their stupid fake deer faces, I wanna grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em.

Mustard: Better than a 2x4 to the head.

Emmy time has come and gone and really not a whole helluva lot changed. Tony Shaloub (I really like Monk but 3 times for the same character who doesn’t really change? How does Steve Carrell not win that field?) and Megan Mullally (shoot me, shoot me now) took home their trophies without trying. And I don’t really agree with Kiefer taking best drama actor (rage against me all you want but all he does is act ANGRY or whisper). 24 as best drama? Again, I love the show but it barely makes more sense than Prison Break. Of course I might just still be pissed about Veronica Mars not being nominated (just finished up Season Two on DVD and it really was THAT good).

They did some things right: Jeremy Piven finally gets his recognition. The Office was at least worthy of best comedy if not nearly as good as Scrubs or Arrested Development. My Name is Earl got its recognition for Directing and Writing (yet apparently Two and a Half Men is more deserving of a best comedy nomination).

Conan was a great host ("um, we kind weren’t invited") and Bob Newhart still has the best facial expressions in the business. Also major props to all nominees for the Variety/Musical/Comedy Program writing teams for their nominee videos (The Colbert Report’s bears take the prize in my book).

Finally got a new phone and, thanks to Google and some kind souls on the mobilepedia message boards, have figured out how to make my own ringtones. Right now I’ve got the chorus to Spoon’s Beast and Dragon Adored as my main tone. The sound quality on the LG VX8300’s external speakers is fantastic.

So Deadwood is over (as far as normal episode go, now there’s just 2 movies that’ll be coming out). This show is truly rewarding for those that have the patience for it. It’s not an easy show to watch (and I’m not just talking about the constant profanity or violence ie Dan’s fight with the Captain). It’s a slow burn show, incredibly deceptive of how much is going on in any given episode but it handles an ensemble cast better than almost any show on television. Ian McShane has officially hit my favorite actors list. Hell I almost went and saw Woody Allen’s latest cause he was in it and it takes a lot to get me to a Woody Allen movie these days. Great show, great story and I’ll miss it when it’s finally over. Plus it had Major Dad as the villain this year. Bonus points right there.

News and Notes:

Heading to the ND/GA Tech game in 4 days! College Gameday, baby! Finally back to an Irish football game. It’s been too long. NCAA Football 2003 predicted a 7-6 Irish victory.... maybe the scoring was a little low.

Zach Braff not heading back to Scrubs after this year? I don’t know what’s sadder: the thought of Scrubs without JD or that I heard about this through Erin’s Jane magazine.

I still do not understand the appeal of preseason NFL Football. I’m sorry, I just don’t.

Steve Trachsel: 14 Wins. Only 5 Losses. 4.98 ERA. And somewhere Roger Clemens weeps.

Until next time:

“Sexually transmitted diseases are no joke, Jane.”

“I wasn't laughing. I sneezed.”

“See how much you're sneezing when you have gonorrhea.”

What's wrong? You've been listening to Radiohead, haven't you? That's it. I'm putting you on a strict Nelly diet.

Mustard: Deep and I don’t think it’s playable.

Man, what a let down: after weeks of hype surrounding the Nintendo Wii press conference at the Games Convention in Leipzig, all Nintendo comes up with is to announce sequels to Super Mario Strikers and Battalion Wars. While good news, it’s not exactly HUGE. These were pretty much givens to come out. So apparently we’re now marking our date for Sep 14^th as the day they announce date and price. Which probably translates to an early November release as opposed to the October release previously rumored. Unless of course Nintendo decides to pull an Apple and just have the equipment ready for launch the minute it’s announced. No, I don’t think that’ll happen but then again Nintendo is obviously going the Apple route in terms of looks and being the different choice in the new gen console wars.

HUGE news: Scrubs will be doing a musical episode next season with music written by the composers of Avenue Q! How friggin' cool is that? The musical episode of Buffy remains one of my favorite TV episodes of all time so I am really looking forward to what the crazy Scrubs people can do.

So notable things about the Teen Choice awards: Host Dane Cook attempting to keep a straight face through the large amounts of [expletive deleted] that was going on around him. I swear some of those acceptance speeches were so full of inane bs I thought he was just going to run up on stage with a baseball bat and start swinging. One which was not bs however was the acceptance speech of one Mr. Nick Lachey. If nothing else, the creators of this crapfest have a sense of humor as they awarded Lachey the best song for his What’s Left of Me song chronicling his divorce from cohost Jessica Simpson. Fox had the decency to avoid cutting to a reaction shot of Simpson after the announcement of the win, something I’m very upset with them for. Of course Lachey is too much of standup guy to make some sort of comment, right? “I just want to say one thing: Um, awkward?” I’ve never been so happy.

So you may be wondering: Why the hell were you watching the Teen Choice Awards? Simple. I was anticipating the debut performance that would rival the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. That’s right: Kevin Federline’s first live performance. I sat through 2 hours of trying not to strangle myself to view the spectacle. And oh, did Mr. K-Fed ever deliver. The fake piano intro with the two boys lip-syncing to the Fed’s lyrics was tremendous but the moment when he was supposed to spring from the piano in “true” hip-hop fashion and he bobbled the mic, almost spilling it to the floor, was pure glee. And things only got better as he launched himself into a pure white-boy poser rap that had Vanilla Ice shaking his head in disgust thinking “it’s been done”. In an attempt to distract from K-Fed’s lyrical torture, there was a dancer pulling off acrobatic moves, hopping all over the stage as if to say: don’t worry folks, I know this is really bad but we’ve got some great commercials coming up so let me entertain you with a flip or two. Alas the entire stage could have caught on fire and burned to the ground revealing Jessica Simpson to be making out backstage with Dane Cook and it STILL wouldn’t have been enough to pull my eyes off the trainwreck that was Federline’s performance.

I really think this man should do the Superbowl halftime. Hell, have him do EVERY Superbowl halftime. The yearly K-Fed performance. I guarantee more people would look forward to see if the man can one up himself than watch the usual halftime snorefest. I think I’m on to something here.

In other news Prison Break is back and stop reading if you don’t want a MAJOR SPOILER: ……ok, so Robin Tunney is dead. I sort of cheered. Seriously, she was awful to the point where I don’t know who I’ll miss less, her or Mischa Barton. Oh and I’m sorry but Thatcher Grey is no replacement for John Billingsley. And they look NOTHING alike.

I hate the HBO is calling this next episode of Entourage the season finale. No, it’s the season mid-way point. It’s coming back in January. Stop artificially creating more seasons than there are. Maybe they should spend a little more time coming up with a pervasive season long plot. Cause right now it seems to be “Vince can’t get a job”. That’s not much of a plot. Oh and this is the greatest shirt ever.

News and Notes:

Holy crap, Episode III Commentary is up. And yes, I know I have a LOT of typos in there, I’ll correct them. And just so you know I’ve halfway through Ep IV so it really won’t be that long. Promise.

To the Red Sox, one word: Ouch.

GA Tech next week baby!

Until next time:

“So, senior year. How was your first day of school, honey?”

“Great. I beat up a freshman, stole his lunch money, and then skipped out after lunch.”

“What, no premarital sex?”

“Oh. Yeah. But don't worry, Dad, I swear you're gonna like these guys.”

“That's my girl.”

Ah, steak fries. Always soggy.

It’s Mustard time!

So Veronica Mars has officially become the greatest casting show ever! Not content to sit back and let the hiring of Steve Guttenberg be its casting pinnacle, they went out and hired Ed Begley Jr. as the new dean of Veronica’s college. This man may have appeared in just about every TV show ever made. It’s actually frightening to check out how long his IMDB page is. I remember him fondly from such roles as Stan Sitwell on Arrested Development and from the incredible role of Ebner Frost in Santa with Muscles (no, it’s a real movie, I swear. If you haven’t seen it you owe it to yourself to rent it, grab a case of beer, and watch Hulk Hogan attempt to prove that Shadow Warriors 2: Hunt for the Death Merchant wasn’t the worst movie ever made.). I most remember Begley from his guest starring role on the Simpsons where he invents a go-kart powered by his own sense of self-satisfaction.

Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Ed Begley Jr. - honestly, if the show casts Peter Scolari next season, I’m ready to just give up everything else and watch Veronica Mars episodes on permanent repeat.

Down goes Pedro! Down goes Pedro! Ok, so maybe that’s a little alarmist, considering they still have a 13 game lead. While the results are out on the extent of his injury, let’s hope that it isn’t too serious. There’s still plenty of time for him to recuperate before the playoffs and that’s when he’s really going to need to be in top form.

Catching the game when they were in town this past Sunday was great. Thanks to my brother and sister for the sweet tickets.

So as if people didn’t hate the RIAA enough, when someone they were suing for music piracy died, they decided to give the family a 60 day mourning period before continuing their litigation (they’ve since decided to drop the lawsuit all together). Now as with any legal proceedings, the RIAA has every right to attempt to continue their suit against the deceased’s estate. But wow, how much bad press is one organization looking to collect?

The Guster concert was quite good if not quite as crazy as past concerts OnTap has taken me to. Guster themselves hit a high note of ridiculousness when the did the rap from Revenge of the Nerds with a woman translating it to sign language onstage. I enjoyed Rogue Wave more than Ray Lamontagne on the opening sets.

News and Notes:

This weekend: Snakes on a Motherf#$%in Plane!

I’m so far behind on music reviews it’s scary but lately I’ve been enjoying the Caesars, the new Guster and Joseph Arthur’s Redemption’s Son. I’ll throw up some more choice reviews in time.

Two weeks and counting to ND football!

Until next time:

“Oh, this is just wrong. Even for you. Look at her.”

“I have watched you pull out a man’s eyes from his head and make him dance like a marionette with his own optic nerves.”

“At least I didn’t break his heart.”

“You don’t know that.”

Welcome to the S.H., bitch!

Due to the summer lull, I’ve been re-watching some of last season's rerun/Tivo’d shows. Damn there was some great stuff last year.

So how screwed up are the Emmys? Check out this article detailing the nomination of Ellen Burstyn for Supporting Actress in a Movie/Mini-Series. Ms. Burstyn was nominated for a role in which she was on-screen for a grand total of 14 seconds and spoke a whopping 2 whole lines! Way to go Emmy, you're officially one step away from Grammy-level irrelevance. The only difference is they managed to have a category last year consisting of Eric Clapton, Robert Plant, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young and… Rob Thomas? One of these things is not like the other…

Then again, I’m fairly certain that the people on the Grammy nomination committees actually listen to the music they nominate. They just have no taste. Moving on…

The big surprise announcement out of the Mac Worldwide Developers Conference this year is: absolutely nothing. Ok, maybe that’s a little mean. They did show off their 10 big features of Leopard, some of which do look pretty cool. But note to Steve Jobs: if you’re not going to really blow people off their feet with your announcements, stop taking the cheap pot shots at Microsoft. You’re just coming off as petty. We already don’t really care for Bill Gates. Just stick to your products and let the blogosphere make the anti-Redmond wisecracks. We’re already petty. That’s why we blog.

So Logan Huntzberger is going to be playing the half-brother of Logan Echolls this year! That’s right Matt Czuchry is guest starring on an episode of Veronica Mars. Cheap stunt? Maybe. But it’s pretty friggin’ cool.

Caught Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby this weekend. I laughed like hell. Not as good or even as funny as Little Miss Sunshine, the movie subscribes to the same “fling jokes at the wall and see what sticks” method as previous Will Ferrell fare (this time without a Wilson brother to be seen). Does it succeed? For the most part. The cast is fantastic. Ali G himself Sacha Baron Cohen as the Ferrell's gay French rival is hilarious. John C. Reilly could sit staring at a wall for two hours and he’d keep me entertained. Gary Cole: is there a more underappreciated comedic actor working today? This man steals the show in anything he’s in and the same is true here with him playing Ferrell’s estranged father. He has one scene towards the end where you think it’s going to be a beautiful touching moment and suddenly Cole just turns it on its ear. As for Ferrell, he’s playing pretty much the same role he always does as the idiot man-boy but by God he’s just that damn good at it. His saying Grace at dinner had me rolling. I enjoyed this much more the first time around then I did Anchorman. We’ll see how it holds up on subsequent viewings.

News and Notes:

FINALLY, I get to see my Mets who are coming into town this weekend. Right now it looks to be Steve Trachsel pitching who did a nice little job last night against San Diego holding them to 2 runs. Hopefully he’s getting back into the grove after the past two months of rising ERA.

August 23^rd: The big day when Nintendo is set to announce the info on all things Wii (hehe, wee…). Price, date, super secret surprises like Mario Galaxy being a launch title? Who knows? All I know is that it’s not going to cost $400 like the Xbox360 or $600 like the Playstation 3 (hey Sony, I don’t care that much about Blu-Ray).

Alright, until next time:

“Baby, she said she doesn't want to be helped.”

“If J.D. were drowning and he told you he didn't want you to save him, wouldn't you do it?”

“That depends. What if there're hot chicks at the pool? Maybe he wants one of them to jump in and save him?”

“Let's say there's no women.”

“There's always women at the pool, baby!”

“Fine. He's in a pond.”

“Oh, I would never swim in a pond! They're infamous for serpents!”

“You could swim at the Y on Tuesdays - men only.”

“Have you been to the Y on man night? Not me.”

“Ok, fine! Turk's the one who's drowning!”

“Oh! So now a brother can't swim!”

You're not speaking because of Friedrich Nietzsche?

I get no kick from Mustard…

So another week, another post. Let’s get to it:

Random news and notes:

The new Warner officially announced yesterday that the next Batman movie will be titled “The Dark Knight” and will star Heath Ledger as the Joker. Awesome title. As for the Ledger, I don’t have a problem with it. The guy’s a good actor despite not always choosing great roles *cough* Four Feathers *cough*. So far we haven’t really seen him do anything we could compare to this role. But I have faith he can put in an interesting performance. It’ll take a lot to beat the quintessential Joker performance which is of course NOT Jack Nicholson but rather Mark Hamill’s portrayal in Batman the Animated Series and it’s subsequent spinoffs. Nothing again Nicholson but Hamill added menace to the insanity while Nicholson just acted over the top crazy. I hope they stick closer to Timm’s version in the new movie. My personal pick? Benecio Del Toro. Check out his Jackie Boy in Sin City and tell me he couldn’t have pulled it off.

Just a quick IT help notice for you: If your Norton Antivirus keeps popping up and error message saying “Norton Antivirus 2006 does not support the repair function”, it’s just a bug in the last update Norton released. Just run liveupdate and it should automatically download a fix for it. The more you know…

Heading to the Guster concert tonight featuring Ray LaMontague and Rogue Wave. Awesome…

Even awesomer: Virgin Music Festival at Pimlico in September. A few in the lineup: Kasabian, New Pornographers, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Keane, Thievery Corporation, The Raconteurs, Gnarls Barkely, The Flaming Lips, The Killers, Red Hot Chili Peppers and a little band known as THE WHO!!!. Tell me this isn’t the greatest concert ever. You can’t do it. Not only does that list contain some of the most innovative artists of today with Jack White, Wayne Coyne, AC Newman and DJ Dangermouse but it got one of the greatest artists ever in Pete Freaking Townshend. Think I’m a little excited?

Caught Little Miss Sunshine last night at Georgetown (I love living in DC, all limited releases make it here). Not only is this is easily the funniest movie I’ve seen this year, it’s easily the funniest movie I’ve seen in the past couple years. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard at a movie. It’s just brilliant. This just shot past Thank You For Smoking as the best movie I’ve seen this year. The cast is just amazing: Greg Kinnear as the hapless Dad trying to pilot his own self-help program. Alan Arkin as the foul mouthed, heroin sniffing grandfather. Steve Carrell as America’s premiere Proust scholar who has recently tried to commit suicide. Paul Dano as the Nietzsche loving son who has taken a vow of silence. Toni Collette as the mother with frayed nerves trying to keep everyone together. And the remarkable performance of Abigail Breslin as the young Olive whose hopes of winning the Little Miss Sunshine beauty pageant is the catalyst for the movie. I don’t want to give anything else away but let’s just say the solution to how to drive the van with a broken clutch is genius and provides multiple instances of amusement. This movie is just amazing. The minute it comes close to you, drop everything and go see it. It’s rolling out over the next few weeks and should be pretty much everywhere by August 18^th. Check here for when it comes by you.

Alright, until next time:

“So we're gonna take all these to the studio”

“Unless you think we're gonna look like schmucks driving the same car.”

“ No. We'd be schmucks in Jettas. In Aston Martin's we look good. And independently wealthy.”