Sunday, August 29, 2004

Mmmmmm............Something

Welcome to another edition of They Got the Mustard Out where the bored come to kill valuable time that could otherwise be used doing useful things.... like playing video games and watching TV. But if you read it with a smile on your face, you can make other people think you're up to no good. Which let's face it, you probably are.

Anyways...... things going well in the final days of summer. I will be taking a small detour next weekend up north where I will be spending my days sitting on the dock of a lake surrounded by mountains and watching the sunset while sitting back drinking a beer. But hey, go Irish! 2004 ND season starts up in 6 days. The 2nd game of season against Michigan is gonna be a rough home opener but here's hoping to a good start this year. Please for the love of God let it be good.

Well based on my promises from last week I did in fact get in two movies this weekend. First off Open Water, the big independent movie out of Sundance about two scuba divers getting left out in the middle of the ocean. I heard all these things about how big this movie was gonna be. How it's was shot on a shoestring budget, with actors who did all their own stunts, and got right into the shark infested waters to interact with them. How this was gonna be the new Blair Witch, only, you know, actually scary. Huge disappointment here. First off the movie is only like an hour and fifteen minutes long. It takes them almost half the movie to get left behind. And after that it's another 15 minutes before the "danger" really starts. Yeah, when the sharks do come, it's a little jumpy. And I understand that the movie is supposed to be as realistic as possible. Perhaps that's the problem, it's so realistic it's almost boring at parts. And when the couple is stranded out in the ocean and start to crack, screaming at each other and blaming each other for their predicament, it's almost comical. It's Al and Peg Bundy in the water. I do respect what the actors went through to get the movie made but also the movie suffers from some severely amateurish editing. There's just some random closeup shots that just seem to be stuck in the movie for no reason. I'm sorry but I don't think the woman locking the door of the house is a major cinematic event needing an extreme closeup. But that's just me. Also, didn't really think the near full frontal nude shot of Blanchard Ryan in bed was really necessary. Again, just me. Final opinion: appreciate the effort and determination to get the movie made, but in the end, just does not live up to the hype.

The other movie I caught this weekend was Hero. The way it's being pushed is a Jet Li action flick, probably because Jet Li is the only one most of America would recognize though it contains some excellent performances from Asian cinema stars Donnie Yen, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, and Zhang Ziyi who many will recognize from her roles in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and the magnanimous Rush Hour 2 and who will next be seen as the lead in the film adaptation of Memoirs of a Geisha. If you've seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon you'll be familiar with look of the movie with amazing sword fights not limited by such small things as gravity. And let's get it out the way early: the action scenes and fights are magnificently done. Imagine the best fights of the Matrix series, without the crappy CGI. This is Hong Kong action at it's finest. But beyond the coolness of the fights, they're also beautifully done, shot in such a way as to be almost a ballet, a dance the actors go through, each perfectly choreographed and executed flawlessly. In fact, it's not just the fights but the entire movie that is just beautifully shot. This is easily the prettiest movie I've seen all year. And the movie itself is excellent. It's revolves around a ancient Chinese king who is on a crusade to conquer and unite the separate kingdoms of China. He's lived his life in fear of three legendary assassins until one day a nameless warrior (Jet Li) come forth with the 3 weapons of the assassins, claiming to have defeated them all through a combination of swordplay and smarts. The movie has been compared to Rashomon in it's storyline in that it is told from several perspectives. It's a fair comparison, however while Rashomon had several storytellers, Hero revolves around two perspectives, that of Nameless telling his story and the King questioning Nameless' tales and adding what he believes to be the truth. In the end it's an excellent tale of sacrifice and love for ones' country. The only minor qualm I had with it was that as it's in subtitles, it was sometimes a little difficult to jump back and forth between reading the lines and watching the action unfold on screen. But like I said, that's a small price to pay to get a quality import of Asian cinema that shows that action films can actually have a legitimately smart and relevant plot and still have some amazing action and swordplay.

Alright my interesting Judeo-Christian friends (and everyone else), that's about it for this time. Reminder: the new season of Scrubs starts up this Tuesday. It's one of the only thing left to watch on TV now that those wankers at Warner Brothers have killed off Angel. And the Simpsons won't return til November. But hey, we've got the Jeff Foxworthy Blue Collar Comedy Tour....I'm sure that'll be a major hit for them. Until next time, keep your feet on the ground and keep staring at the stars cause if you just go walking around reaching upwards, trying to grab stars, people are gonna think you're nuts.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

A Summertime Movie Extravaganza.... Now in color!

Greetings all you happy campers. I hope these days find you in good health and merriment or at least in good health. The gentle climate of August has been quite the surprise for those of us in the DC area. I was expecting to need a respirator to walk down the street. Hey, sometimes life brings pleasant surprises.

Anyways, I thought I'd give some quick reviews of the late summer entertainment for any of your looking to kill some time.

Movies:


Garden State - If you like Scrubs, go see this movie. If you don't like Scrubs go see this movie. Not to exaggerate but this is the best movie I've seen this summer. Zach Braff (J.D. from Scrubs) wrote, directed and stars in the movie about a young man returning home for his mother's funeral after years of being estranged from his family and confronting not only his father but the detachment and confusion of life. And yet with such serious content matter Braff does an absolutely phenomenal job of making the movie not only bearable but outright hysterical at times. And apparently Natalie Portman can act. Who knew? The acting, the look of the movie, everything was just terrific making me have high hopes for the future of Mr. Braff (one more week til the season premiere of Scrubs! Woo hoo!). And is it just me or has Ian Holm been in a hundred movies since playing Bilbo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings movies? And Peter Sarsgaard as Braff's old high school grave-digging, grave-robbing, stoner buddy with a heart of something that might be gold (yeah, just see the movie for this), he also puts in a great performance. The writing is top notch, ranging from being funny as hell to remarkably insightful. (For some great reading see Braff's blog on the movie's site here. Also if you're looking for some good summer music the movie's soundtrack is also fantastic.) Yeah, so if you didn't notice, I really loved this movie. Go see it.

Maria Full of Grace - Ok, so still working with the independent film category but taking away all the humor, this is still a very well done movie. A dark and brutal look at the life of Colombian women working as drug mules, it's harsh but still quite good. The movie is completely in Spanish with subtitles so keep that in mind in case you're not fluent in Espanol and aren't looking for a lot of reading. Also I have in on good word that Bogota doesn't really look quite like that as they only show the slums. Those crazy Columbian filmmakers.

The Village - If you hate the movies of M. Night Shyamalan, you're probably not going to enjoy this one either. Or maybe you'll enjoy the first two thirds of it. But once he throws in his trademark plot twist, you'll probably be back to hating him. Personally I've enjoyed all his movies but this one is definitely my least favorite. Which is a shame because cinematically this is by far his best looking one. It really is a very pretty movie but that doesn't really help I suppose if you don't like the plot. The twist in this one (no I won't spoil anything) but it's definitely a twist that once it's known it changes the whole movie in a way where you care much less about it. I really hope for his next film, he can do a movie without the requisite twist. On the plus side, Bryce Howard puts in an excellent performance in the lead female role and I think you're gonna see her growing to be a big star in the future.

I also caught Dodgeball the other day and yes the movie is hysterical if you like the current frat pack movies. Also containing of the best closing lines of a movie ever... just a shade under Casablanca. But as it is one of those comedies, there's not much to say about it. I enjoyed it. If you liked Zoolander, Old School, etc then you'll like this movie, if you hated them, you'll hate this movie. Nuff said.

I hope to catch a screening of Open Water and the Asian import Hero soon.

And this is day and age we live in folks, I actually just saw a commercial on TV stating that now that Shrek 2 has come and gone it's time for the next big movie: Superbabies - Baby Geniuses 2. Wow. Sign of the apocalypse? Just might be. The mere fact they actually made a Baby Geniuses 2 makes me fear for humanity's future.

Alright you wild and crazy people, until next time adios y gracias for todos los pescados.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Allow Myself to Introduce Myself

Greetings all, I am the great and powerful Jeffrey Snow, or just Jeff, or Snow, or many other names, most of which are not fit to print here. I would spend valuable time going over the history of who I am and the general story of my life but let's face it, if you don't know me, you're not reading this blog. In fact, odds are even if you know me, you're still not reading this blog. But nevertheless I will continue on like a gymnast crashing into the judges table.

Seeing as how I've pretty much tried every other trend in this technologically trendy day and age, I decided to the give the world of blogging a go. I have no real goal in mind other than to impart upon you, the gentle reader, the general musings of a semi-well-adjusted 20-something living in the Washington DC area. But as the days go by I'm sure I'll be able to think up some little tidbits that wander my way.

As for now, the Olympics have been of course the big news these past few weeks. I've been enjoying now as for the first time ever in HDTV and I have to say in Hi-Def it looks absolutely phenomenal. Watching the swimming is amazing. You can see every little detail of every ripple in the water. And NBC has been doing a great job on their HD channel of picking HD-friendly sports to broadcast. I have a sneaking suspicion that boxing in Hi-Def would be a little much though I'm sure there's some blood-thirsting people out there who would enjoy the graphic detail of a bloody nose getting busted open.

After seeing how great these sports look in Hi-Def, I can't wait to see how the NHL will look on it, that is of course if there is even a next season. Recent talks on the new collective bargaining agreement haven't exactly filled me with much hope. But I'll save my opinions on that whole situation for a later time. Ah well, there's always the World Cup before my hockey-less season commences.

Anyways all, that about wraps it up for this today's edition. I'll try and actually come up with somewhat of a topic for next time. Until then take care of yourselves and each other.... unless they owe you money, then start busting some kneecaps.

(Note: Mr. Snow does not condone the breaking of kneecaps)