Why is it every time I need to get somewhere we get waylaid by jackassery?

Mustard in the morning, Mustard in the evening, Mustard at dinner time

So another week, another episode of the Mustard. Hope everyone had a lovely Memorial Day. I spent it doing absolutely nothing! Mwa ha ha! Ok, so that’s not true. Erin’s birthday was on Sunday so that was a fun time. Though my sad attempt at a devil’s food cake ended up with a large crater in the middle of it. I mean come on, it shouldn’t be that hard to just make a normal looking cake.

Final season finale wrap up:

I didn’t mention it the other week, but Malcolm in the Middle actually had its series finale the other week. I was happy I caught it as it was a good little way to send off the show. I feel bad for it as quite frankly, it’s always been a pretty funny show with consistently good performances by the cast but Fox has treated it worse than NBC treats Scrubs by moving it all over the place. I mean Fridays? It was much better off in the Sunday at 7:30 slot.

So Alias is over and though I really never watch it consistently until the 2^nd half of this season, J.J Abrams makes a quality spy show and the finale I think just showed that the show was going out on top quality-wise.

Lost – fantastic finale. So now we know why the plane crashed if not definitively how. I’m guessing Desmond is now gone and if so that really sucks as in one episode he ended up being more interesting than half the regulars on the show. But the writers have given us a lot of answers without really giving us any. For one, the island exists in the real world as the last shot is the first “current” scene to take place off the island. So see ya Purgatory theory. Also I think it’s pretty clear that the Pearl monitoring station was the real test based on all the vacuum canisters just being dumped in the middle of nowhere (but who was in that station?). There is some force at work keeping people on the island (Desmond not being able to sail away) but it appears that there is a way out (fake Henry telling Michael to sail off at a specific degree). But man, I wanted more. Are Michael and Walt gone for good or at least downgraded to flashback guest stars? Eko and Locke will be just fine as they’re the two most popular characters on the show and if they get killed off you can be sure the writers will make sure we see it. But all in all I can’t wait for next season.

So now that the ’05-’06 season if officially over, there’s nothing left right? On the contrary, there are 3 big shows that start up in the next few weeks that should get you through the summer.

The big one is of course Entourage starting back up next Sunday. During its hiatus I managed to catch up on Season 1 and it’s pretty remarkable the jump between Season 1 and 2. Not that one was bad, but two was just outstanding. Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold gets all the accolades but the one every should be paying attention is eternal C-movie star Johnny Drama. Who knew that Kevin Dillon would be the Dillon brother I actually enjoyed watching?

Deadwood is also starting up again and there’s just something about the show that makes you want to keep watching. The gritty, pull-no-punches approach to the old west just makes for a compelling show and damned if Ian McShane’s Al Swearengen is one of the greatest characters currently on TV.

Also coming back is a show that really needs more accolades. The Venture Bros is one of the greatest spoofs ever on TV and its first season was funnier than probably the last 5 seasons of the Simpsons put together. Granted being familiar with the old Johnny Quest show helps you key in to more of the jokes but the show by itself is just hysterical.

Scrubs Soundtrack Vol 2 is currently up as an iTunes exclusive. If you liked the first one, this is right up your alley. Taking songs from Season 2 all the way up to this last one, you’ve got such show mainstays as Colin Hay, Josh Radin, Cary Brothers and Rhett Miller. The only downside is that quite frankly the show has so many great songs on it during the last 5 seasons that I’m waiting eagerly for Vol 3.

David Wright = future of the Mets. The man is just unbelievable considering this is his 2^nd season! And Paul LoDuca is making me question the team’s sanity for keeping Mike Piazza for so long. Carlos is finally breaking out and showing that he wasn’t just a one trick pony in the playoffs two years ago.

Also caught X3 this weekend or as it’s officially titled: X-men: The Last Stand. I was amazingly not disappointed in the movie. I went in with the lowest expectations possible due to the pre-release buzz but I honestly enjoyed myself. No, it’s not as good as X2 but c’mon that was never going to happen. I still can’t stand Halle Berry as Storm but that’s no different than normal. The rest of the cast does just fine. My big complaint is that the movie was just too damn short. There are a lot of great ideas in the movie that really never get explored. They introduce a ton of new characters but they never have time to really do anything much with them. I mean Colossus gets maybe one line in the whole damn movie! I wanted more. But I suppose I should just be grateful that, with how fast Fox pushed this movie out, it turned out as well as it did. Oh, and for those of you who haven’t seen it there is a quick but MAJOR scene after the credits that had everyone at the theater going “Holy S@#%!”

Until next time:

“You scheme was very clever, very clever indeed, but he's no ghost!”

“Oh ya think genius? What tipped you off - was it the huge zipper, maybe the rubber mask? But you had to kill him anyways. If you'd played by the rules - the ghost pirate rules - and just run away, none of this would be happening! But nooo, you had to go nuts and kill a guy!”

And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection — classic Dorian.

Wherefore art thou Mustard?

Alright, so I took last week off. Why? Cause I was busy as all hell and didn’t have time to write.

So tis the time of year where we say goodbye to all our company. By which I mean it’s finales week. The score thus far:

Prison Break: Meh. I mean come on, they’ve got the damn cops like 30 feet behind them and five guys running across an open field are supposed to get away. I know this show is built on ridiculously convenient twists but unless Geordi LaForge beams them out, they’re screwed. Good double switch on the Vice President killing off the President though.

24: Um, anyone notice that the terrorists were beaten 15 mins into the two hour finale? Yeah, it was great finally seeing Logan get his comeuppance but it was fairly obvious how that was going down. Great job though bringing back the Chinese problem from last season. Anyone else notice how by the 2^nd hour they pretty much gave up on the realtime format? Jack Bauer was on a Chinese freighter to Shang-hai after being beaten half to death about 2 minutes after he was kidnapped in the middle of a government operation.

The O.C.: They killed of Marissa. I don’t care. They crafted a well shot sequence tying back the burnt house from season one, even including the same song in the background but by a different person. I don’t care. Caitlin’s back permanently and Volchek is now a murderer who I’m sure will spend half the season running from Ryan’s vengeance. I don’t care. Are we seeing a picture here? This is going up against Grey’s Anatomy next season. See ya.

Greys Anatomy: Denny’s dead. I don’t care. Seriously though I never really saw what was so amazingly super wonderful about the guy. That arc ended exactly as it should so I applaud the writers for not coping out due to his popularity. And Izzy being out of the program? Yeah, she should be. No way in hell should she be a doctor after all that. Again, good job writers. It wasn’t the best finale ever (I know I should be caring about the triangle between Derek, Meredith and Chris O’Donnell [I don’t care what his character’s name is, he’s Chris “look where Batman and Robin got me” O’Donnell] but quite frankly, I don’t really like Meredith either.). But I sure enjoy this show more than the O.C. so it’ll have my spot Thursday next season. Plus the music is pretty good too. I still say it’s an hourlong, overly dramatic Scrubs clone though.

Scrubs: Um, how many pregnancies? Given that Elizabeth Banks is only on for a few episodes next season, I doubt the baby ends up being J.D.’s so was it really necessary to have that cliffhanger? In the end though this season has been one of the best and with the departure of Arrested Development, this show easily is the funniest show on television. If Donald Faison does not get an Emmy… well who am I kidding? He won’t. Sadly that will probably go to Sean Hayes. Look at it this way. Will & Grace is over! This will be their last Emmys!!!

Gilmore Girls: Well that was depressing as hell. I mean come on, did they really have to absolutely trash Luke’s character in order to screw up his relationship with Lorelai? It’ll be interesting to see where they go from here. Logan is back for all of next season so I don’t know how this whole Britain thing will work out. Without the Sherman-Palladinos next season, the writers better start praying they can turn this season into something great next season. I have no doubt the Sherman-Palladinos could have. Without them however…

Alias and Lost finales I’m catching tonight (yes, I know Alias was on Monday. I have it Tivoed). 4 hours of tv goodness.

To be perfectly honest so far the best season finale: Arrested Development. And that was way back in February. Granted it helped that was an excellently crafted series finale. But it was still so far the best.

News and notes:

My little sis (also known by some as EPrime) has graduated BC! So BC gets Condeleeza Rice and ND got me Dick Luger who just rehashed a UN speech? The hell?

Great great article here about emusic.com and how it is a profitable company with a good business model and doesn't have to DRM the crap out of the music it sells like iTunes does. I'm telling you, if you like the music I review on this site or just great non-mainstream music in general, try out this site. So much cheaper than iTunes, the ability to download a purchased song over and over again, and the ability to listen to your non-DRMed music anywhere and on any computer or mp3 player you want is definitely worth supporting.

X3 opens up this weekend. So far mixed reviews but it sounds like longtime fans (particularly those of the Phoenix Saga) are gonna be pissed.

Then again the Da Vinci code got a 22% Rotten Tomato rating and still raked in 77 mil.

Commentary for Ep 2 will be coming shortly. No, I haven’t forgotten about it.

Until next time:

“I’m now hornier than I have ever been and my husband is repulsed by me.”
“Listen, if you really need it that badly, I will suck it up and shut my eyes tight and then do you.”
“Thank you for the sacrifice.”
“It’s because I love you.”

I started an "I hate Cox" chat room. It didn't work out the way I planned. It's just me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians.

It’s a Mustard Twofer!

Ok, so I decided to post an update after the 2^nd half of the day brought several interesting updates.

First off, guess I was only partly right about Libby’s fate on Lost. She was still alive this episode… at least until the end. Supposedly they will be filling in her back story in other flashbacks posthumously (so we get to see her in the background of all of Hurley’s episodes?). I don’t know I buy the whole “we were always gonna get rid of her” schtick the producers are throwing out. I find it hard to believe in the coincidence that they’ve always been planning on killing off both the actresses who got DUI’s even though one of them had just started a storyline and had barely any of her past revealed. But who knows? Maybe I’m just that cynical… ok, I’m definitely that cynical.

So the huge news (and I’m still confused at this timing) is that Nintendo yesterday did indeed unveal SUPER SMASH BROS BRAWL!!! Check out the trailer here and prepare to drool. This game looks amazing. Hell, it even manages to give me a solid challenge to the “graphics” problem I was talking about yesterday. And new characters: Meta-Knight from the Kirby games, Wario, a new suit Samus and I-shit-you-not Solid effing Snake!!! Now that’s a way to win over fanboys (remember Metal Gear was originally an old school 8-bit Nintendo game). Holy crap! And that’s just a few of the new characters. But by breaking out Snake, Nintendo is hinting at more 3^rd party characters appearing *cough* Sonic *cough*. Not to mention the new main theme is written by Nobuo “Mr. Final Fantasy” Uematsu. I won’t lie, Nintendo may have just won me over completely. But we’ll see how things go.

Apparently Sony has been spending the last few days in damage control over their price. Their argument: Well, it’s gonna have a Blu-Ray player included which will make it the cheapest Blu-Ray players currently on the market. Yes, this is true. However, even though the current Blu-Ray players are over a grand right now, that sure as hell isn’t going to last. No way are people going to switch to next generation DVDs if they cheapest player they can get is a PS3 for $500! AND supposedly the $500 version of the PS3 won’t have an HDMI output meaning that you won’t be able to watch these super-awesome-high-def DVDs in the proper format to make it really worth the switch. So Sony, keep up the whining and watch as Nintendo and Microsoft take away your customers. I repeat: You putz!

Veronica Mars finale = Best. Finale. Ever! Ok, maybe not the best ever but damn, that was one helluva final episode. So many things getting wrapped up including major twists and turns on things you thought were long solved. Either way the 2^nd season has been friggin phenomenal and this show needs to be back next year. Hilarious pseudo-fourth wall break when Clarence Weidman is referred to as “CW”.

Until next time:

“Mrs. C! I trust you're well.”
“Well, if it isn't little Miss Teen Getaway. Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.”
“Like Trouble, with a capital T, that rhymes with C, that stands for-”
“Veronica!”
“I was gonna say cute.”

Oh come on, Nate! You're the only guy in North America to have played this game and you still can't kill him?

-Zelda designer having trouble demo-ing the new game.

Mustard: It’s what’s for dinner.

So Nintendo had their big E3 conference yesterday. Yes, I still think the Wii is a terrible name. But damn if some of the things showed yesterday don’t have me a little excited about the new system’s possibilities.

The cool points:

Opening up the conference by showing a game where Shigeru Miyamoto uses the Wii controller to conduct a virtual orchestra in real time. I know this may be the 10 years of Orchestra in me but the fact that the orchestra in the game responds perfect to the conductor was pretty damn cool. Of course they were playing the theme from Zelda and that makes anything cooler.

The games announced for it: Mario Universe = awesome. The new Zelda game is gonna blow everyone away. Metroid Prime 3! Madden that will specifically make use of the new controller (imagine motioning a throw with the controller actually corresponding to your QB throwing in the game). A new Fire Emblem, a new Resident Evil, a new DUCK HUNT!!!! And the Red Steel game looked pretty sweet as you use the controller to perfectly control your sword.

Apparently the Wii will not have an “off” switch so much as a sleep mode where it can still be connected to the internet allowing game designers to upload update to your system as well as in games such as Animal Crossing your friends can leave your messages or visit you while you’re “out”.

The Wii Sport game while graphically deficient, looked pretty fun and definitely showed off the potential of things like a future Mario Tennis title.

The inclusion of a speaker on the controller allowing for a very cool “depth of sound” effect.

The not so cool:

First off, graphically, everything they showed looked like it could’ve been done on the Gamecube. Metroid Prime 3 honestly looks just like Metroid Prime 1 and 2. Zelda is technically a Gamecube game so I didn’t expect anything better, but Metroid is specifically for Wii. And the Wii Sports? WTF with those graphics? Yeah, I know Nintendo’s big point is that “graphics aren’t everything” but at least make it look like you’re trying. It’s not the Xbox360 but the Wii is at least supposed to be more powerful than the Cube so why the hell do the graphics on Wii Sports look like they could’ve been done on the N64? At least put in some effort here, Nintendo.

Where the hell was the new Smash Brothers game? And why nothing more than a few clips from the new Mario game?

No mention of how the Virtual Console will work where you’ll be able to download Nintendo back catalogue of games.

No price or date other than 4^th Quarter of this year. Look if Sony is gonna come out and shoot themselves in the foot by charging 600 eff-ing dollars for they’re new system, Nintendo should’ve come out saying hey, we’re only gonna charge $199 - $249. Lost opportunity on their part.

Overall:

I’m giving Nintendo props for it’s determination to pull in more non-gamers and to take the way games are played in a radically new direction. I really wished they had given more information on the system and shown off the Wii’s capabilities a little more but right now, they’ve got me intrigued.

Putz Patrol:

Way to go Sony. Your system will cost the gross annual income of some 3^rd word countries and your “innovative” controller with “tilt control” is a poor ripoff of Nintendo with very little practical use outside of maybe some driving games. But hey, you’ve got a lead in the video game market share so I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. You Putz.

Until next time:

“Alright people, listen up! We are a family and what do families do when one of their own is in trouble?”
“When my brother Barry came out of the closet my parents send him to hetero-camp.”
“Ok, families that aren't from Connecticut.”

They didn't have 'Say Anything' in Baghdad?

I feel the need, the need for Mustard.

One, two! Two mentions of EavesdropDC on Wonkette! Ah ah ah!

(wow, it must be tough for Sesame St writers to actually write the Count).

Adios Ana Lucia. No one will miss you. And don’t lie. You all hated her. Just cause she’s dead doesn’t mean we have to pretend we cared. But Lost just jumped into overdrive with its story development. Good for them. So a few thoughts from my end:

Michael – Ok, I’ve been pretty much guessing that the Others were going to flip him ever since he went missing. Afterall, the Others only harm the “bad people” and if you look at it, none of the main characters are really that decent people. The ones who are (Claire, Walt, etc) have been taken by them. So what if Michael found out all the bad stuff about his fellow castaways and decides to join the others? But now I’m not as sure that they flipped him as much as they might be blackmailing him with Walt. The way he looked when shooting Ana Lucia and Libby didn’t look like a man who really wanted to do it. Granted he didn’t actually mean to shoot Libby but still. I suppose there’s always the possibility that he did it to frame Henry (which he definitely will be doing) to solidify that they must march again the Others but why? Jack, Kate and Locke already agree that they should. So I’m going with blackmail for now.

Libby – She’s not dead just shot. One, next weeks preview has Kate saying “She’s dead” not “They’re dead”. Two, in the TVguide Ausiello interview with the Lost producers, both of them don’t mention Libby dying, just being shot. Several times in fact. But they do take about Ana Lucia’s death. And finally, what the hell would be the point of having Libby be at the mental hospital with Hurley (and having that ominous reveal of her during Hurley’s flashback) if you’re just gonna kill her off and not go anywhere with it? Lost writers aren’t that flaky. Hell, Ana Lucia’s death has been planned since last year. No, I’m gonna say Libby is very much alive and that super doc Jack will be able to save her.

Jack’s Father – this actor is busier than some of the series regulars! He’s just got connections to everyone. Let’s just pull the ultimate twist and have him be in charge of the Others and get it over with.

As for Alias – awesome seeing Gina Torres back. So can I ask a question? Why the hell are they going with the derivative, let’s-make-a-doppelganger-spy idea that EVERY spy show has done before. Christ people, I remember them using this idea on Get Smart 30 freaking years ago! Now if the plan had been to turn Gina Torres in to Don Adams, that would’ve been original.

News and Notes:

Good bye Rangers. It was nice having you back in the playoffs. Pity you didn’t stay long.

Wow, new Superman, Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Casino Royale trailers up. Liking the look of Superman. I know Pirate is gonna rule. Casino Royale is a little meh. They are totally killing the book. Afterall apparently Americans know nothing of Baccarat (which actually is true) so we must turn the game into Poker. Give us some credit, we’re not going to see Bond play cards, we’re going because it’s Bond. But Daniel Craig looks like a good Bond. If they had just dyed his hair black he would’ve looked much more like the Connery Bond than anyone else to this point.

Just give John C. McGinley the Emmy already. You know he deserves it. He’s even doing the requisite dramatic acting in a comedy series that all comedy Emmys require.

Also for those playing the home game: Scrubs Season 3 – Out next Tuesday. Giggity.

Until next time:

“I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey JD, if you go out would you get a me hot Italian sausage?”

“I got a hot Italian sausage right here. See, people think that I just luck into these situation but it is really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard? Ok, I should go.”