I don't even know what that means.

I just couldn't resist:

Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do! We doooooooooo!

It’s pretty incredible but I don’t hate the Academy right now. Never thought I’d actually say it. But the Oscar noms just came out and all in all it’s not too shabby.

High Points:

Little Miss Sunshine getting a lot of love. Best Picture, Original Screenplay, Supporting Actor for Alan Arkin (too bad they can’t show his best scene in the movie: “F#$% a lot of women kid, not just one woman, a lot of women”), and Supporting Actress for Abigail Breslin (who has officially become the “IT” young Hollywood actor).

Also a lot of love for Pan’s Labyrinth which is awesome considering its foreign heritage. Based on who it’s up against I think it has a real (and very deserved shot) at Cinematography, Best Foreign Language Film and hopefully Score.

Good for the Academy for recognizing some of the lesser known performances which don’t get the hype to make the Golden Globes (Ryan Gosling, Jackie Earle Hickey).

Martin Scorcese – The Quest Continues…

Low Points:

Look, I know as far as the movie goes, The Fountain pretty much served to confuse the hell out of people but there is no denying that from an artistic standpoint it was one of the prettiest pictures of the year. So no Cinematography? No Art Direction? That it didn’t get a nom for Best Score is completely ridiculous. Ditto Visual Effects (see below). And come on, Original Screenplay?

Since when did Visual Effects turn into let’s validate summer movies by giving them a chance for an Oscar. That Poseidon actually got nominated for an Oscar makes me want to cry just a little bit.

Meryl F%$#ing Streep.

But overall, I’m really looking forward to this Oscar night. And hey, I’m already 1/5 with seeing Best Picture Noms. Go me!

It all started, with a penny in the door. There was a hatred, I had never felt before.

I want Mustard!

I can’t tell you how happy I am to not have to see a Bears/Pats Superbowl. What a Pats/Colts game, eh? I still can’t believe it didn’t come down to a Vinateri field goal as time expired but I’ll take the last minute drive by Manning.

TV is starting to rev back up after the winter hiatus. HBO in particular has been busy with Rome back for its final season and it’s lost none of the violence. Ricky Gervais’ Extras is also back and it’s first two episode featured an Orlando Bloom displaying a whole lot of jealous animosity toward Johnny Depp (“Willy Wonka? Johnny Wanker!”) and one of the funniest scenes on TV this year with David Bowie being inspired for an impromptu song by Gervais’ depressing feelings of selling out.

Oh and to the CW: F%#$ YOU! Are you freaking kidding me? You’re cutting Veronica Mars’ season short and putting an 8 week gap after sweeps to put on “Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll”?!?! I hope whoever green lit this worthless waste of time and money comes down with a scorching case of herpes, I really do. Ricky Bobby is putting that voodoo on you.

But you know what? If they don’t renew either Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls for next year, I’ll finally be able to not worry about tuning into the CW.

News and Notes:

How great was that Scrubs episode? The only downside is that I think “Guy Love” was the best song and I had already seen it. Still was pretty damn funny.

This is a little old but: Joss Whedon is directing an episode of the Office this year. I’m so happy. The episode should be airing sometime next month. (Also look for an episode directed by J.J. Abrams. Man, everyone wants a piece of the Office these days).

New Shins this week!

Adios Tuna.

Until next time:

“You've seen Star Trek: The Next Generation have you?”

“I haven't no.”

“Why your wife won't let you have it on, is it?”

“I'm not married.”

“Oh, your girlfriend then?”

“I haven't got a girlfriend, I live alone.”

“You're not married, you haven't got a girlfriend and you never watch Star Trek?”

“No.”

“Good lord."

For the last couple of months I have been adrift in a sea of puppy dogs, lollypops and let's face it, mediocre metaphors.

Mustard: If not now, when?

So Terence Stamp and the Rock have been cast in the upcoming Get Smart movie? That deserves a “frakkin’ awesome” label. First off, I love Get Smart. My childhood contained an unknown number of nights watching Don Adams’ brilliance on Nick-at-Nite. So when they cast Steve Carell as the lead, it was like the curtain dropped in front of the chorus singing Hallelujah. They couldn’t have picked a better actor to fill Adams’ shoes. Anne Hathaway as Agent 99 is a great fit but come on, Terence Stamp as the villain? Boom baby!

So the iPhone huh? Well it looks great but no way in hell am I switching carriers and paying that much money in order to get it. Yeah, I know, you get your iPod and phone all in one but honestly, I don’t really care that much. However the good news is that this means they’re almost certain to release a new widescreen iPod only device in the next 6 months or so. Now that is going to be pretty sweet.

This will be the last time I mention this (until perhaps the Oscars in which case I’ll be extremely pissed) but what the hell people? Meryl Streep does NOT deserve an award for the freakin’ Devil Wears Prada. The movie was shit and she didn’t “shine” or do anything else but a bad Cruella Deville impression. I don’t care that it’s Meryl Streep. Stop giving people awards just because of who they are and give them to people who actually deserve it. Thank you.

Do yourself a favor and go get the The Crane Wife, the new album by the Decemberists. It’s outstanding. And I would note that the Crane Wife #3 which has been playing the past week on this site was just played on last week’s Scrubs. I’m ahead of the curve.

Caught Pan’s Labyrinth this weekend. What a good movie. Most of America won’t see it as it’s a foreign movie and who wants to read subtitles but if you appreciate movies that are done well in almost every aspect, you owe it to yourself to catch this one. It’s definitely up there for most beautifully shot movie this year and outstanding movie score. With this movie Guillermo Del Toro is making a statement that he is a filmmaker to watch. I may have enjoyed Hellboy but I recognize it for the fun popcorn movie it is. This movie is dead serious, unflinching in it’s depiction of the brutal end days of the Spanish Civil War and even it’s more fanciful fairytale escapism parts. Strange bedfellows? Absolutely but it’s originality works and if this movie was in English I guarantee you we’d hear it’s title being announced with the other Oscar Best Picture nominees. As such we’ll absolutely hear it during the Foreign Picture nominees and I can’t think of many arguments as to why it shouldn’t win.

News and notes:

So can I tell you how great I find it that Scrubs has become the most widely syndicated show on TV? I swear, it’s on at least 6 times a day. It’s fantastic.

Speaking of Scrubs, tune in tomorrow night for the Scrubs musical. If “Guy Love” is any indication this could be the greatest musical since Buffy.

Zelda makes me happy.

Darius Walker is leaving and with him goes the last of Notre Dame’s dependable offense. Next season is gonna be fun.

Until next time:

“Hi, cutie! Since you have so many balls, and too many toys can be over-stimulating for an infant, Brantley here was wondering if he could borrow one to play with!”

“Oh, that's funny, because Jack here was just wondering why the crazy lady who just spent the last hour chain smoking and talking on her cell phone while her kid ate sand would come over to two complete strangers and give them parenting advice!”

“Oh, oh! He also thanked me for not naming him "Brantley"!”

You gave away my cornbread recipe? And she put weed in it?! You don’t put weed in my cornbread!

Mustard: Bringing in 2007 with a bang!

Wow, I know, how freaking long has it taken me to post again? Those darn holidays tend to make things tricky on the updating.

So first news: Wiiiiiiiiii! Yes, despite the ridiculous shortage, I managed to find a Nintendo Wii (along with an extra controller which was almost just as hard to find). So far it’s frakkin’ fun as all hell. I don’t know if Wii Sports was turned off the entire weekend of New Years. Sure the graphics are complete crap, but the creation of your own Mii which you play the game with is strangely satisfying. Bowling is just awesome. Boxing is remarkably fun despite all the negative things I’ve heard about it and I swear my arms haven’t had that good a workout in a long time.

Zelda is, well come on, it’s friggin’ Zelda. Of course it’s awesome. And I’m not even remotely far into it. The use of the Wii-mote is intuitive and really feels seemless as opposed to gimmicky. The graphics are stunning and considering it’s technically a Gamecube game, I’m really looking forward to what the system can push with a game built for it.

I’ve only gotten a game or so into Madden and it’s also fun though it’s taken awhile to get used to the controls given on how I’m so used to the old system. But the use of the Wii-mote to control actions such as hiking the ball is excellent. It’s so damn effective in fact that I was drawn offside on the first play of the game thanks to a fake hike by Crowley.

RIP O.C. Fox announced this week that the series will be ending at the end of February. It’s a little sad but to be honest, even though this season has been much much better than the past season, I’m still just not as in to it.

I think Erin put it best when she said yesterday how funny it was but of all the shows she’s missed during the break, the one she’s really missing is Bones. I totally agree. I just enjoy that show more than I should.

Of the movies I’ve caught lately, Charlotte’s Web was a good, relatively faithful adaptation of the book. Though I was slightly annoyed in that I feel like they made the goose less of an annoying know-it-all because it was being voiced by Oprah. Maybe it’s just me. We Are Marshall was pretty much the same movie you’ve seen a hundred times. It’s not a bad movie and has some good performances in it but it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

News and notes:

Wow, was that ND game an ass whooping or what? The streak continues…

Wow, is the Giants game gonna be an ass whooping or what?

I really hope the Golden Globes isn’t an indication of Oscar noms because man, that’ll be a boring show.

Until next time:

“Dr. Turner said that I am a very talented young physician.”

“Jordan said I'm the only man she ever wants to have sex with.”

“Oh…”

“Aren't we sharing fantastic lies we choose to believe for personal reasons?”