Ah Billy! After the Arctic and the Pacific, you're my favourite ocean.

Mustard: Who could ask for anything more?

So the Oscars have come and gone and the newest Best Picture is the Departed. Good for Scrorcese, I’m happy for him especially since he got his Best Director statue. I’ve yet to see the movie despite the fact that it’s been sitting on my coffee table for the past week but I’ll catch it soon enough.

Pan's Labyrinth totally got robbed. I love Little Miss Sunshine (go Alan Arkin!) but Original Screenplay completely deserved to go to Del Toro’s truly unique script. No real surprises other than Arkin’s win over Murray. And what the hell, Melissa Ethridge wins for Best Song? I’m still under the impression that unless the song is performed during the movie (ie not the end credits), it doesn’t deserve to be nominated. Otherwise it’s just a hastily written song (and 99% of the time complete crap) in an attempt to win an Oscar.

Speaking of Arkin, he’s just been cast as the Chief in the upcoming Get Smart movie. The cast of this movie is just mind blowing. Now just pray that the script is better than Tom Astle’s last effort, Failure to Launch, which was only notable for gracing the world with a naked Terry Bradshaw. I’m gonna go poke out my eyes now.

Venture Brothers is coming back! Season 3 and 4 have been greenlit according to the shows creators. Unfortunately, we won’t see a new season for possibly another year. What the hell people? I understand that since it’s a hand drawn show it takes much longer than the average adult swim show to create, but still, over a year? Boooo! Then again a big cheer for it coming back at all. Make way for the homo-superior!

News and Notes:

Alllllmost caught up on 24. My mini-marathon the other day has me hating hot shot, overly ambitious politicos everywhere. You’re putting the nation in danger, damnit!

So I just got into an old west style showdown in Zelda complete with bad guys going through saloon windows. I love this game.

Now it looks like the Rangers aren’t even making the playoffs this year. I hate sports.

Until next time:

“This was a gift from Lee Iacocca. Twenty year old, single malt, scotch.”

“Here is to Mr. Iacocca, and his failed experiment, the De Lorean.”

Dear Academy:

Thank you for giving the Best Actress to Helen Mirren. If you had given it to Meryl Streep, I may have had to pull a Grammys ban on you. Thank you for making this much much easier for all of us.

PS Watch out for Jennifer Hudson's boobs. They look like they could be trouble.

Hiya! My name is Bob Kelso and I like whores.

I got nothing but random Mustard:

I like Heroes and all but is anyone else praying that they kill Ando off? He’s officially surpassed the TV Stupidity Threshold and therefore is need of a good case of death. Also they need to watch out because quite frankly, unless they kill him off, Peter makes pretty much every other hero obsolete. He only need to be around someone once and can then permanently use their powers? While it makes for a cool scene (a la his smackdown with Isaac), he’s now officially more powerful than Sylar and that defeats the number one rule of superheroes: don’t have any one hero be stronger than the villain. Otherwise, why do you need the rest of them?

So how great was Whedon’s office episode? The last scene with Dwight chasing the bat around the kitchen had me rolling.

After tonight, there’s only one more Veronica Mars left before the CW puts it on a month long hiatus so it can broadcast a large pile of money being set on fire. Don’t cha?

I am so far behind in 24, I’ve probably missed three instances of Jack Bauer torturing someone and at least 589 usages of the word “damnit”.

It’s coming:

Zelda has slowly begun to consume my life. I’m ok with that.

Until next time:

“I am going to Europe, Richard. I am going to Europe, and I'm going to have a marvelous time. I'm going to get up at 10:00, and I'm going to have two glasses of wine at lunch every single day.”

“Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch!”

“Well then, buy me a boa and drive me to Reno, because I'm open for business!”

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.

Dear Grammys:

This will be the last time we ever speak.

Go f$%# yourselves.

Most Sincerely,

Jeff

If you get a chance, read the Boondocks. Man that little kid hates honkies!

Mustard: Just bringing it.

And the Colts take it home. I’m so happy that I don’t have hear the Manning/Marino comparison anymore, I could cry a little. And it’s not like the Prince halftime show was bad, it’s just that who cares anymore? They need to do something different to get people to do anything other than pay marginal attention to an overblown musical production featuring artists that most people don’t care all that much about anymore. And no, throwing multiple artists up there doesn’t make it any better.

Joss Whedon is off Wonder Woman. I’ve got mixed emotions here. Yeah, it sucks that the guy spent 2 years writing the script, finally getting something down and then being told the studio didn’t like it. But on the other hand, Whedon is spread too damn thin as it is. He’s currently writing the best comic on the market in Astonishing X-men to the point where I will actually buy it when it comes out in full trade. He’s overseeing the Buffy “Season 8” comic that launches soon. And he’s taking over writing duties on Runaways this spring as well as the new horror flick Goners he’s writing and directing. And to be fair, Wonder Woman is not the amazing movie character people are making it out to be. It peaked with a campy late 70’s Linda Carter version and the character has pretty much languished in the 25 years afterwards. It’s a Golden Age of Comics character that hasn’t reached the iconic nature that’s kept Superman alive, nor been reinvented and evolved to fit into the modern day like Batman. I’ve no doubt Whedon could’ve put an interesting spin on the character and if anything it hurts that he lost a major studio picture but in the long run I don’t think it’s going to be a huge loss for anyone. Cept maybe Warners.

Speaking of which apparently Goyer is off The Flash now? I’m a big fan of Goyer’s writing if not his directing (despite certain peoples’ arguments, I thought the 3^rd Blade was pretty damn bad. Of course it didn’t help that Wesley Snipes was phoning it in from some place very far away). Add this to the new (and probably overblown) rumor that Joel Schumaker is looking to direct a Sandman movie and Warner apparently have lost their freaking minds. They do realize that the super-grossing James Cameron Aquaman was a fake movie right? They don’t actually have a ton of comic-based hits.

And no I still haven’t forgiven Akiva Goldsman for Batman & Robin.

News and Notes:

Wow, Steve Jobs making a statement on his blog today about DRM. Effing-A Steve.

Studio 60 we hardly knew ye. Apparently NBC is shelving it after sweeps. It’ll return now in April though this can’t possibly be a good sign for a Season 2.

I’ve yet to have someone over who doesn’t enjoy the bajeezus out of Wii Sports.

Until next time:

“Mr. Franklin, do you have a girlfriend?”

“I have a lovely wife, Deborah.”

“But don’t you have girlfriends in Paris? Like, a lot of them?”

“Ah, well, that is a gray area of my life.”

I miss Dwight. Congratulations universe, you win.

Who smokes the Mustard? We smoke the Mustard!

While I’m looking forward to the upcoming 300, if you really want to get your historical fix, tune into HBO’s Rome. It’s second season has continued to top it’s first season even without Ciarán Hinds excellent Julius Caesar. This show and Deadwood prove that HBO just can deliver quality programming with an attention to detail that surpasses anything you’ll ever find on network television (probably because there’s no way a network would put up the kind of money needed for these shows that aren’t going to find a mass audience.) Sure they’re doomed to short lifespans from the get go (This will be Rome’s final season and Deadwood only lasted 3 plus 2 HBO movies to finish the series off) but as British television has proved, sometimes a couple outstanding seasons at the top of your game is a better way to go then holding out too long leading to an inevitable decline (I’m looking at you Friends and ER).

Am I the only one dreading the Oscars for no other reason than Forrest Whittaker’s acceptance speech? Look, the man is going to win. He picked up the Golden Globe and the SAG award for his role in the Last King of Scotland. But did you see his speech during the Golden Globes? He hemmed and hawed and giggled and barely got anything out. I’m sure it was just a little camera shyness and maybe a little shock. But then he went out and did the exact same thing at the SAG awards! Forrest, please just write down your speech because it’s going to horribly awkward when the orchestra starts playing you off the stage on Oscar night and you haven’t even started your speech yet.

So I have yet to make up my mind completely about where the new Shins album falls in their catalog. It’s quite good but has some very different sounds thrown in there in addition to the traditional Shins numbers (Phantom Limb will get stuck in your head so quick you’ll hate that it took them so long to get this album out). Then again, I took me quite a few listens before I fell in love with Chutes Too Narrow and now it’s easily one of my favorite albums. There’s nothing wrong with having to work at an album a little before really appreciating its nuances. After a few more listens I’ll give my full review. In the meantime, don’t hesitate to pick it up. I mean come on, it’s a new Shins album. How else are you gonna get My Humps out of your head?

News and Notes:

Hey Studio 60, the getting locked on the roof gag? Lame!

How freakin’ hilarious was last night’s Scrubs? “You shall be called Slagathor.”

I think it’s safe to say that the Prince halftime show is going to be completely tuned out.

Oh what the hell, Go Colts!

Until next time:

“So what… You’re just going to mope around like the guy in… What’s that book when the guy’s mom dies and he comes back to Jersey? And he’s got that motorcycle sidecar?

“Garden State was never a book.”

“It wasn’t? Oops. So much for that paper.”