Greatest...Reference...Ever

- penny arcade

I could never do one of these on the SNES

from bordom.net

And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated.

THIS….IS….MUSTARD!!!

Rant Time: The Today show this morning had a whole segment on people getting scammed on fake designer purses on eBay. No kidding. If you get offered a $20 Kate Spade bag on the street, do you expect it to be authentic? Then why would you expect anything different from a similarly ridiculously discounted bag online? Then they went on about how these devious counterfeiters are actually going and charging prices that are only $10 or so less then a regularly priced bag. If that’s the case why in the hell are you risking being scammed in order to save 10 bucks? Just pony up for the full price and buy it in a store. Then the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard come out of Meredith Vieira’s mouth (and that says a lot): “This is a big problem.” Excuse me? A big problem? The instability and political turmoil in the Middle East is a big problem. Continued human abuse cases throughout the world is a big problem. Fake designer bags are a frakking asinine problem for people who have too much time on their hands. If you need more money for designer purses why don’t you help out that diplomat from Nigeria? He won’t stop emailing me.

Speaking of madness: Notre Dame? Hello? Winthrop? Hey, at least the women’s team knows how to win. And I can still root for the hockey team.

In the most obvious news of the day: In addition to the ongoing steroid “scandal” that has listed such names as Jose Canseco, John Rocker and Evander Holyfield, 11 professional wrestlers are now being investigated. Randy Orton! Kurt Angle! Say it ain’t so! Have you ever seen these people? Or how they disappear for 2 months and suddenly come back having gained 40 pounds of muscle? So what’s next? An in-depth congressional look into WWE match fixing?

News and Notes:

I have all my Elite 8 teams still in! Woo! My wife is still winning the pool! Damnit!

Duke: hahahahahahaha!

Rangers: In/Out/In/Out/In, the hell is going on with this team?

Until next time:

“So, for kicks you read...”

“Feminist trash. You know. Woman finds her power, leaves her oppressive husband, discovers freedom and fulfillment with an artist who knows how to cry and make love like an animal.”

“So, sex books.”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

It's a St. Patrick's Day Miracle!

Per MSNBC.com:

"CBS on Thursday unveiled an agreement with YouTube, the online video site, to form a special web channel featuring clips and highlights from the annual "March Madness" college basketball tournament."

"Quincy Smith, president of CBS Interactive, said basketball fans would be posting tournament footage on YouTube in any case, and that the agreement reflected the media group's strategy to reach out to them rather than trying to discourage them."

A media company getting the fact that it can use the internet's most popular video sharing portal to increase it's market reach and consumer experience and even generate revenue? I think hell may have just frozen over.

A lot of people think that magic camp is just for kids. And that’s why so many other people in my class were kids…self-fulfilling prophecy.

Mustard: It’s still here.

So this update has just been forever in coming, hasn’t it? Anyways onto…

MADNESS!!! Of the March persuasion that is. Look I agree that Syracuse probably got a bum deal. But it’s just pathetic of a coach to bitch and moan about it because in the end if they had played better basketball they wouldn’t have had to worry about falling off the bubble. They’re in the ridiculously good Big East which already gets a ton of teams in so when you only win 22 games and get bounced in round 2 of the conference tourney, don’t expect to be a lock to make the tournament.

I still need to fill out the bracket but can the Irish beat Oregon in Rd. 2? Hmmmmm…

Oh and someone PLEASE, for all that is good and holy, stop showing pictures of Joakim Noah. I can’t knock his basketball ability but holy crap, this could be the ugliest man alive. And it’s not just the sweaty, basketball playing look. I’ve see him in person at the airport. He is that ugly. Someone give the man a razor or at least wax his upper lip. He’s the got the ugly mustache-like growth of a 6^th grader whose parents haven’t bought him an electric razor yet.

Ok, this is ridiculous, Tony Almeida gets shot in the neck and is able to make a full recovery by the end of the day. Morris gets a power drill bored into his back multiple times and just a few hours later is completely up and running with no signs of pain whatsoever. President Logan gets stabbed in the shoulder with a fruit paring knife and is at death’s door? Come on 24! I can suspend disbelief just fine but at least let’s keep it consistent.

So my latest movies: Zodiac and 300.

Zodiac is one of those movies like the Aviator. I really enjoyed it, it was a bit too long as it seemed the director couldn’t cut anything out, and had good strong performances. It’s not Fincher’s best by a long shot but it’s still a good movie.

I don’t understand a lot of these negative reviews of the 300. It’s a great movie for what it is and that is primarily an accurate conversion of a graphic novel to screen. It’s all about the visuals. People keep ripping on the plot being thin. Well no shit, the plot is supposed to incredibly simple: King Leonidas of Sparta leads 300 soldiers to hold off an invasion by the innumerable Persian army. The movie has a lot more dialogue than its source material. The look of the movie is outstanding. It’s visceral, stylized and innovative. My only knocks on the movie are that some of the scenes added to movie from Miller’s original work seem a little weak. And in one scene, for absolutely no reason, the film’s composer pulls a Scorpion King and just out of nowhere inserts a sequence of cheesy 90’s power chords that just left me wondering “where the hell did that come from”? I still have my doubts that anyone can pull off a successful Watchmen movie, but at least Snyder has earned himself a go at it.

News and Notes:

While most people are looking at College Hoops right now, hats off to the Notre Dame hockey team, finishing up the year ranked #1 in the country. Now on to the Frozen Four!

Are people really looking forward that much to a Grey’s Anatomy spinoff? Really?

I’m terrified of what the Mets pitching rotation is going to look like this year. They better hope their bats actually manage to improve (which is actually a distinct possibility).

Do I pick Kansas to go the distance? Decisions, decisions…

Until next time:

“Yeah, I don't see what's insane about not wanting spiders to lay eggs in my corn flakes. That's how Carla's mom died.”

“No it wasn't!”

“You're supposed to be my best friend!”