Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore a shirt with a rhinestone penis and my grandmother had her car towed.

I won’t lie, I laughed harder at last night’s Gilmore Girls than I laughed during just about any other show this year not named Scrubs. And yes for the last time I’m straight!

Not much going on chicos and chicas. Mets are continuing to be interesting to watch (did you see Saturday’s beatdown on the Nationals?) and therefore by them not sucking, I’m happy. I’ll actually be catching the game this Friday when they’re in town to play the Nats again.

Albums you should be listening to:

Franz Ferdinand – Franz Ferdinand
The guitar riff on Take Me Out alone is worth the price of admission but this is also a really good album. Reminded me a little of Modest Mouse’s latest… if Modest Mouse was singing all the time as opposed to screaming. Check out the opener Jacqueline as well as Matinee. This album is meant to be played with the amp at 11.

Elliot Smith – From A Basement On The Hill
Unbelievably tragic, the loss of this ridiculously talented artist. This album was still in development when Smith died so it’ll never actually be known what it would’ve sounded like had he completed it. But released as it was as it was, this is a pretty powerful album. And I dare you to listen to A Fond Farewell knowing the circumstance of Smith’s death and not get emotional.

News and Notes:

FAMILY GUY IS BACK!!! THIS SUNDAY!!!! GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY!!!

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy comes out this Friday. Wooooooooo!

Have you noticed that the new ads for XXX 2 have the Who playing in the background? Ok, XXX is supposed to be the new "anti"-Bond for the young generation. Last one was all about crazy punk music. So they figured the Who would really entice the teenage crowd? What the hell are these idiots thinking?

The new Gavin DeGraw music video for Chariot directed by Zach Braff is out. Great cameo by Donald Faison (Turk) in it. And I love DeGraw’s album and I think he’s an extraordinarily talented artist but damn, he might be one of the ugliest men on earth. Maybe it was just bad makeup and wardrobe but yikes man, get some sun.

Ripping off the Zach Braff blog but still funny as hell: http://www.realpie.com/funny_video/video_pop.html

New trailer for Serenity is out and damn I wanna see that movie.

Strip back up and running. AOL’s been fussy lately for some reason so if you get a page cannot be displayed error just refresh your browser.

Alright banditos y banditas, until next time:

"Unforunately for Jake he still had to pass mustard with Turk and me and nothing is quite as daunting as our good guy test."

"Well I could use a beer."

"I got this round. Be right back."

"Good guy!"
"Great guy!"
"Nice choice!"

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot

Hididily-ho Mustarinos.

Quick lil’ update today as things have been ridiculous lately and I have time for nothing these days.

To quote the illustrious Doc Brown: Great Scott! The Mets have gone from 0-5 to 7-7. Where the hell did this come from? Not that I’m complaining. And to show how tough their division is, they’re the only division in Major League Baseball right now that does not have a single team with a losing record. And how bout them Nationals? Granted we’re less than a month into the season but they’ve had one hell of an April. Was Montreal really that bad?

Movie Review:

Sin City – Well about time seeing as how it’s been out three weeks and I listed it as one of my top 5 most anticipated movies. So how’d I like it? This movie will be playing next fall in every male college dorm DVD player all the time. It’s a movie you’ll put on at 3 in the morning cause what the hell, nothing like a little blood and carnage at that time of night. I enjoyed the hell out of this movie but it’s not for everyone. And for all those comparisons to Kill Bill violence, trust me, this goes a full three steps beyond that benchmark. This is a savage comic book gone wild. Yeah, sure Kill Bill had a scene where Uma Thurman slices through an army of sword wielding Yakuza. But it was played very over the top. This movie has that over the top violence sure, but not all the time. A lot of the time it’s visceral, gritty and as realistic as death by swastika throwing star gets. The style of this movie is amazing. These scenes are lifted shot for shot out of the graphic novels themselves and it looks fantastic. The performances are note perfect. Mickey Rourke…yeah, it’s actually him under all that makeup and man he is freaky as hell and yet almost sympathetic. Elijah Wood…good bye Frodo, hello silent psychotic killer. Clive Owen… essence of cool, Bruce Willis… awesome as the frail cop trying to do one last thing right, Benecio Del Toro… fantastically unhinged, Rosario Dawson… keep her the hell away from me, Alexis Bedel… Rory’s nowhere to be seen, Nick Stahl…evil Yellow Bastard … there’s too many great performances to comment on every single one. Powers Booth is only in the movie for about two minutes but in that minute he totally steals the show. Imagine if his Deadwood character suddenly became a Senator. So here’s what I say: this movie is a comic adaptation like you wouldn’t believe but be prepared for how violent it’s gonna be. You keep that in mind, it’s one helluva ride.

News and notes:

Scrubs – continuing to make me happy

Yeah, I know I blew my usual Monday deadline with the strip. It’s been ridiculously busy and I wanted to see Sin City. I’ll put more up soon, promise.

It’s a slow week for notes.

Until next time kiddos:

“All right, you three can go in.”

“Word.”

“You're out.”

“Oh, look, sir, please, just—“

“Baby, I got this. Don't worry about this. Listen here, man, homey here, you know, he's a little outta his mizzle, so I'm just saying, for just a little bizzle, if you let him up in this pizzle, he'll be all chizzle!”

‘You out too.”

I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.

No man, just the Mustard, the Mustard!

Been a long week folks but all kinds of things on the horizon. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. The weather is officially hitting springtime levels which is nice but it will lead inexorably into summer weather which is where I start to show that I grew up in the north and have no tolerance to heat and humidity.

I just have to say one thing: Enough with the bleepin’ Red Sox already. You won. I’m really happy for you. Seriously I am. But I’ve had enough of this overly drawn out victory celebration. Congrats, you won the World Series. You should have! With that team? Hell, the Marlins had more reason to celebrate when they won in ’04. They were a team no one gave a chance and the blew pasted the same hated Yankees you did last year except the Marlin’s salary was a helluva lot less then what the Sox did it with. Yes, you won for the first time in 86 years. Do you realize that the Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908. 1908!!! If they don’t win in the next 3 years it’ll be a century since their last title. They haven’t even been in a World Series since 1945! 60 years since even playing for the title! The last played in the World Series the same year WWII ended! Now that is a long history of failure.

To be fair I don’t entirely blame Red Sox fans for keeping this endless trend going. Major League Baseball is milking it for all it’s worth. Have you seen the Red Sox/Yankee schedules this year? Let’s see when they play each other: First game of the season. Opening day in both Yankee stadium and Fenway. Memorial Day weekend. First game after the all-star break. And oh look twice in September including the last series of the season. Good lord, I get it. They’re rivals! They’re your two highest profile teams. But right now they both have only one win more than the Mets and if you’ve been paying attention to the Mets season so far that ain’t a good thing. So do everyone a favor and let the whole die down just a little. It’s gonna be a good year for baseball. Hopefully my Mets will learn how not to blow a save. And you know what? We can pick up this over hyped rivalry at the end of the year if and only if both are in contention for the playoffs.

Ok, that’s my baseball rant. Thanks for your time.

Movie Review:

Fever Pitch – yeah, so continuing with the Red Sox…. I’ll be honest, I laughed at the movie. It’s a cute, inoffensive romantic comedy. Jimmy Fallon didn’t piss me off so that in and of itself was surprising. I still stand by my opinion that if you eliminated a few of the Red Sox insider jokes, this movie could’ve been about any sports fan (which technically is true as this movie is actually an American remake of a British movie). The thing that makes it work is that deep down it’s about the fundamental differences between men and women. Yes, using the sports metaphor to represent men is a bit cliché but at the same time, it works. Special note: when Jimmy Fallon misses the huge come from behind victory because he was out at Drew Barrymore’s friend’s party and goes off on her (the point where all the women are supposed to be like, he’s such a dick, it’s only a game!), Erin leans over to me and whispers: “Yeah, I’d be pissed if I missed that game too!” This is why I love her folks.

News and Notes:

After getting Crowley hooked on it, I’m now hooked on the first Knights of the Old Republic game for PC. It’s addicting damnit!

Episode 4 of the strip is coming along. Still continuing the standard Monday uploads with random chapters put up on other days as I get to them.

Veronica Mars renewed for next year. No one watches it but me I know, but it’s a good show people!

Please please please let them renew Arrested Development! Awesome Zach Braff cameo last week.

Somewhat surprised to see Malcolm in the Middle get renewed for next year. I mean the show has actually been excellent this year. Far better than the past couple years. I just didn’t think it was enough of a ratings pull. Who knew?

Why in the hell is the new commercial for Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy portraying the movie as a sci-fi action/adventure? It’s a friggin’ comedy! Is the marketing department for Disney that stu- oh wait, it’s Disney. Yes.

Alright all, until next time:

“Yes, baby, Molly is attractive. But she doesn't hold a candle to my Puerto Rican princess!”

“For the last time, Turk: I'm Dominican!”

We can watch 'Kangaroo Jack' and chug a Foster's every time they say "g'day"!

Welcome welcome one and all to that blog they call ‘The Mustard’.

My Illini were defeated in what turned out to be one fine NCAA championship. Seeing as how I didn’t really have a chance at winning the pool, it’s not all that bad. I still take pride in picking the W. Virginia upset over Wake and the Michigan State final four appearance.

Baseball season has begun! Here’s me going into the bottom of the 9^th for the Mets opener in Cincinnati: alright, Kaz Matsui hitting a homer in his first at bat for the second year in a row...awesome. Carlos Beltran earning his contract going 3 for 5 with a double and a homerun and bringing in 3 RBI’s. Fantastic. Even Pedro got it together after a shaky first inning where he gave up a 3 run homer and proceeded to notch up 12 K’s and didn’t let in another run. Dae-Sung Koo comes in for some nice short relief by striking out 2 in the 8^th and not giving up anything. Things are looking good. Don’t know who this Looper guy is but all he has to do is hold a 2 run lead in the 9^th. And the Reds haven’t done anything since the first inning. Ok, first batter… base hit. Second batter….and damnit, it’s a homerun. Third batter…and there’s another homerun. Game over. Mets lose. MOTHER F@#$%!!!!!

They break my heart folks.

Then again you Red Sox fans know my pain. Mr. Jeter did the same thing to you yesterday. But you can take solace in the fact that the Sox pulled out the 9^th inning comeback today thanks to a big error by A-Rod. Here’s hoping the Met can pull it together tonight.

Albums currently on repeat:

Iron & Wine – Our Endless Numbered Days
Great low key album for just relaxing. This is the same artist who did the Such Great Heights cover on the Garden State soundtrack. If you enjoyed that cover, you’ll enjoy this album. High points worth checking out include Naked As We Came, Sunset Soon Forgotten and Sodom, South Georgia. Highly Recommended.

Radiohead – OK Computer
Yeah, not exactly new but come on, it’s their best album giving us both Karma Police and one of the greatest guitar riffs ever with Paranoid Android. Radiohead isn’t for everyone but for those who do enjoy their music, it doesn’t get much better than this.

Hey hey hey, it’s Episode IV! That’s right folks, I told you I’d get it out and I did. You wanted new characters? Done. You wanted better effects? Done. You wanted crazy, self-referential in-jokes and obscure pop-culture references? Well too bad, you’re getting them anyways. Wooooooo!

Alright, comprades that’s all for this week. Until next time:

“Mmmm, Mulattos!”

“They’re Milanos you idiot.”

“I always thought that was a little bigoted for a cookie.”