Show me the way to go home! Everybody! I'm tired and I want to go to bed! Just the women!

L.A. here I come! My flight leaves in a few a hours and holy sweet moly do I need this extended weekend. My brain feels like it’s about to spontaneously combust. And that would hurt.

The NHL is officially back and the schedule has been released for the year. I love how they’re making such a big deal over all 30 teams playing on opening day. Well yeah, they have had a 15 month rest. I think they’ll be good to go opening day. Personally I’m still a little pissed at them. Yeah, I’m gonna be going to the games because it’s hockey and I love the sport. But those ticket prices better be drastically reduced (i.e. next to free) or those stands are going to be really empty. The Rangers come into town to play the Caps on Monday afternoon on Columbus Day. Boo ya. Shame the Sharks aren’t playing here this year, but I’ll be happy with a couple Rangers games.

Quick reviews:

Happy Endings – The latest by Don Roos (Opposite of Sex) is one of those movies I love going to every now and then. It’s a movie that makes you think as opposed to most summer flicks in which thinking usually hurts the movie. The cast is excellent and everyone is giving strong performances but the most surprising standout is Tom Arnold. Now go back and re-read that sentence. Wow. But honestly, he puts in a great performance as widower who is just trying to be a good father while trying to find something to grasp onto in life. His reaction when he finds out that his son (who he has been worried is gay) has a girlfriend is just superb. The thing is that he’s terrified that his son is gay but not because he’s this raging homophobe but rather that he has absolutely no idea how to handle it, he's not sure if he's supposed to act differently. He just have never had to deal with anything like that. Of course he then goes on to develop a relationship with said girlfriend (Maggie Gyllenhaal) who is really just a golddigger looking to score. Steven Coogan also gives a strong performance as part of a gay couple who begin to suspect that a lesbian couple with whom they’re best friends has been lying to them as to the whether one of them is the father of the lesbians’ child. Intersperse this with Coogan’s step-sister, Lisa Kudrow who is being blackmailed into helping an aspiring film maker make his film school entry movie in exchange for the location of the son she gave up for adoption (whom she had with Coogan, in a whole, freaky, ending of Clueless moment) and basically you come up with a movie that sounds so unbelievably out there but ends up making sense and being a solid movie to boot. Yeah, I realize halfway through this review that I just could not even come close to a complete review of this movie without a 20 page long essay diving into the themes and cross-cutting storylines. Suffice to say that if you’re looking for something other than the usual summerfare, check out this movie. By the way Maggie Gyllenhaal does all her own singing in the movie and she’s ridiculously good.

Music you should be listening to:

Coldplay – X & Y

Yes, I do think that Coldplay is often overhyped. But this is a solid album, particularly the 2^nd half. Yes, I do get annoyed (as I’m sure Coldplay does) that they’re constantly being referred to as the next U2. There are some similiarities and several of the songs on here showcase Edge-esque guitar riffs (particularly on White Shadows and Talk). But Coldplay is their own band and I think it’s unfair to judge an artist solely by comparison to another. Plus the fact that when I heard this album referred to as Coldplay’s Joshua Tree I really wanted to hit the reviewer. It’s good, but come on, Joshua Tree is one of the best albums of the past 25 years. Ok, anyways, Chris Martin’s vocals continue to be the front and center act here which he’s got a good set of pipes on him, so I’m not complaining. Speed of Sound is the big single but also try Swallowed by the Sea with its simple, yet effective worldplay and A Message with its low key acoustic guitar and Fix You which is the Scientist of this album.

Old 97’s – Too Far to Care

With more of a country slant to it than their poppier Fight Songs, this album probably won’t appeal to everyone but if you can appreciate the Alternative/Americana fusion beat, you’ll find some good tunes for hanging around to. Rhett Miller just has a great ability to write fun, catchy lyrics and you’ll find some great examples on that with Timebomb, Melt Show and Big Brown Eyes.

Alright, until next time:

“Everybody I've got bad news. We've been cancelled.”

”Oh no Peter! How could they do that?”

”Well unfortuantely Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonder Falls, Fast Lane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin, Girl's Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunman, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddy, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg The Bunny.”

”Is there no hope?”

”Well I suppose if ALL those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot.”

And remember, every time you support a canceled Fox show, somewhere a network executive loses his wings.

Hola cabrones, and welcome back to another edition o' the Mustard.

The above quote is attribute to an excellent article on the show Firefly which I've raved about before in the blog. Sci-Fi is showing the whole series IN PROPER ORDER starting this Friday. I highly recommend you check it out (just TiVo if you need to go out. It'll be good hangover watching Saturday morning). For the rest of the article click here.

We’re officially into the crazy part of summer. Speaking of crazy, heading out to L.A. next weekend. And my God have mercy on my soul.

So I’ll just right into it cause I have a bunch of things I want to get to.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince:

Last Friday at 12:45, I walked into Barnes and Noble and picked up Harry Potter. I woke up at 10:30 the next morning and started reading. I finished up at about 9:00 that night. That’s a whole lotta reading. So to start off with, the book is the high quality, completely engrossing tale I’ve come to expect from J.K. Rowling. It is so easy to completely lose yourself in the world of Harry. But even while maintaining that sense of whimsy, Rowling is still playing hardball. She’s not pulling and punches and I mean that literally cause by the end of the book you feel like you just got punched in the gut. It’s easily the harshest ending of any of the books and she continues to show that Joss Whedon-like ability to kill off anybody. I’m not complaining because I’m completely and utterly intrigued as to where she’s going from here. I mean at this point everything is up for grabs. While it frees her up to do whatever she wants with this last book, it leaves the reader hating the fact that they have to wait at least another 2 years before the final book comes out. Oh and for those wondering, Harry’s not a total whiney little pissant this year! Yay! His character in the 5^th book just made me want to hurt him. Damn angst-ridden teenagers. So get ready folks cause this series is winding down and I don’t think anyone knows where it’s gonna end up. Thank God for that.

I’m invisio-texting a few thoughts of mine as to HUGE SPOILER material but I want to mention. So only highlight the below if you’ve already read the book.

Ok, RAB I’m convinced is Regulus Black, Sirius’ brother who was murdered by Voldemort after trying to leave the deatheaters. It makes sense and I think is a great idea on Rowling’s part.

I don’t think we know all there is to know about Snape and his murder of Dumbledore. I don’t care how weak he was, Dumbledore could’ve taken the Deatheaters. Especially as at first it was only Malfoy. You’re telling me between Dumbledore and Harry they couldn’t have taken 4 Deatheaters blindly walking through a door? Also I refuse to believe that Snape’s betrayal is that simple. He just fooled Dumbledore for 15 years? That’s it? Come on! Dumbledore may want to believe in the good of people but he’s not an idiot. He saw through Tom Riddle during his rise to power and there’s no way he would’ve just been simply taken in by Snape. Plus Rowling doesn’t write things that simple. She wrote the 2^nd Chapter of the book showing Snape explaining everything to the Deatheaters and you’re telling me that that’s it? She showed us Snape’s evil right away and it just is that simple? Rowling’s a better writer than that and that’s why I’m so excited for the last book. That’s when we’ll find out the whole truth.

END SPOILER

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:

Finally! Charlie’s a good kid who doesn’t screw up! Thank you! That’s the main reason I don’t like the Gene Wilder version as much as everyone else. I hate that Charlie ends up being just as bad as the rest of them. “Oh, but he apologized!” Well, yeah, cause he got a chance to! How do you know Violet wouldn’t have said she was sorry if she ever got a chance to see Wonka after being de-juiced or Agustus might have repented his ways if he hadn’t been sucked up a pipe into the fudge room. So don’t give me that crap that Charlie was sorry. He was just as irresponsible as the others. Ok, sorry, that’s just bugged the hell out of me for a long time. So this version: fantastical. Freddy Highmore is so unbelievably perfect as Charlie, Tim Burton should get down on his knees and thank whatever higher power he believes in for his casting in Finding Neverland opposite Johnny Depp. Charlie’s grandparents have much better personalities in this version which are played for some great laughs. David Kelly as Grandpa Joe in particular is perfect. He looks older and more decrepit than the previous Grandpa Joe but he has that whimsical gleam in his eye that’s found in the books. The other children are also done well. The updating of Mike Teevee from TV western obsessed to video game/technology obsessed I think was necessary as cowboys aren’t quite so in today. And yes Johnny Depp as Wonka. While I don’t like the older movie, I did enjoy Gene Wilder’s performance (up until he goes postal on Charlie which was just so far out of Wonka’s character it still makes me cringe). Depp goes in an entirely different direction and yet it’s still a great performance. And while I hate to mention this because so much has been made of it already, he is not bloody channeling Michael eff-ing Jackson in this movie! Christ, can’t these critics leave current pop-culture out of their reviews for once!!! Ok, yes, he speaks in a strange voice. So does Kermit the Frog. “Well, he invites children to come into his playground factory”. Yeah, he does, but he doesn’t want to. Here’s the thing: Depp’s Wonka doesn’t like children. Hell, he doesn’t like people in general. When Violet introduces herself, Wonka responds “I don’t care.” He’s bringing in kids so that he can find someone to take over for himself when he’s gone. But he’s not happy about getting older. He’s not happy about being forced into human contact again. He’s socially inept as is seen when he doesn’t know how to continue a conversation so he takes some notecards and starts reading from them. His transformation from social recluse to accepting people back into his life is one of the best parts of the movie. So just accept the fact that this is Depp's own creation and move on, will you? Anyways, the Oompa Loompas are great. They’re all played by the actor Deep Roy and they’re just freaky, exactly as they should be. Love the songs this time. No oompa-loompa-gobbidy-goo. These songs are straight from the book. Danny Elfman is having fun here with his music. He hasn’t done this quality of work since Nightmare Before Christmas. The only qualm about the movie is the ending is changed (actually really just extended) a little in order to bring closure to Wonka’s childhood subplot involving his dentist father (played by Christopher Lee who is seriously having the best time of his career these days). I personally didn’t have a problem with it but I know some people will say, oh no, deviation from the book! All in all, I much prefer this version and I thank Tim Burton for giving a great book a truly faithful adaptation.

Ok, I also need to review the new Don Roos movie, Happy Endings but I’ll save that til next time as this has gone on long enough.

Until next time:

"Hey, is the Count a vampire?"
"What's that?"
"Well, he's got these big fangs. Have they, have they ever shown him doin' somebody in and then feedin' on 'em?"
"You're... you're asking me if they've ever done a Sesame Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance."
"Yeah."
"No. They've never done that."

I'M ON A RAMPAGE

And they call it the Mustard.

Welcome back seniors y senioritas to my blog which I thought was cool but now Booter’s off and started up another. 2 blogs, man? Where do you get all this time from? Says the man who wastes countless hour on a web strip. Speaking of which…

EPISODE V is up and running! Yay! See that wasn’t too long and I know it was rough but it was worth it.

So we’ve reach the mid season and the Mets aren’t statistically eliminated yet. Rock on! I’m a little lower on Nationals fever ever since a Nats fans at the game again the Mets last week flipped me off and told me to go do something anatomically impossible just because I was wearing a Mets hat. But he looked like an intelligent and socially viable human being so I’m sure he’ll turn out with a great life and very few STDs.

So the Emmy Noms came out. Normally this would be the part where I’d go off about Will & Grace getting a nomination over Scrubs except this year: SCRUBS GETS NOMINATED!!!!!! Boo ya! Zach Braff also picked up a nod for comedy actor. Holy crap, it’s like I died and went to heaven but God decided it wasn’t my time yet and instead gave the academy a brain. Garden State probably helped a lot towards those.

Will & Grace: IT’S NOT FUNNY PEOPLE! STOP NOMINATING IT! YOU’RE ONLY ENCOURAGING THEM MORE! 15 BLEEP-ING NOMINATIONS!?!? I FEEL LIKE I’M TAKING CRAZY PILLS HERE!!!

Let’s break the main categories down quick:

Best Drama: Deadwood – awesome

Lost – easily should win.

24 – OK, I like the show but let’s face it, it’s not exactly high concept drama. I mean I like Michael Bay and John Woo action flicks but I wouldn’t nominate them for an Oscar.

The West Wing – why? I don’t pretend to watch the show but I thought this had just been steadily going down hill for year? Let me guess, this is the typical academy repeat vote where if it’s been in the category before, it has to stay until the show goes off the air no matter the quality of the show *cough* Frasier *cough* Will & Grace *cough*

Six Feet Under – Haven’t watched since season one.

Drama Actor – Hank Azaria – didn’t watch

Hugh Laurie – only caught a couple episodes. He amused me but the show didn’t

Ian McShane – Please please please let him win. This is guy who is such an evil SOB but he does it so well you love him. The foulest mouth imaginable and just damn hilarious.

Jame Spader – re…..peat

Keifer Sutherland – deja…..vu

Drama Actress - I’ll cut to the chase here, I really didn’t watch any off these show but I like Mariska Hargitay from past years and she’ll probably win so hurrah.

Drama Sup. Actor – Naveen Andrews and Terry O’Quinn from Lost both deserve it. Hell, both supporting categories should have been all Lost cast. Locke rules, give it to him!

Drama Sup. Actress – Again, no shows I watch. Sandra Oh? My how Sideways has helped her.

Best Comedy: Arrested Development – hey, maybe they’ll now keep it a 4^th year!

Desperate Housewives – I don’t watch, a lot of people do. Probably will win unless…

Everybody Loves Raymond – Last season often generates the farewell win. But I didn’t work last year for Frasier so no guarantee this year

Scrubs – It has no chance of winning but damn, it’s about eff-ing time it got recognized!

Will & Grace – oh just die already!

Actor Comedy: Jason Bateman – the best comedic foil around

Zach Braff – “I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.” Oh man, he’ll never win but this has to be sweet for him.

Eric McCormick – a parody of his original character

Ray Romano – Farewell vote…

Tony Shaloub – So happy I discovered Monk. “I have this terrible fear of the womb.”

Actress Comedy – All Desperate Housewives with the noticeable exception of Eva Longeria. Interesting. Patrica Heaton - Farewell… Jane Kaczmarek – Repeat nom (though Malcolm was a whole lot funnier this year than in the past).

Sup. Actor Comedy – Peter Boyle and Brad Garrett – so long, farewell, etc. Sean Hayes – a parody of a human being. Jeremy Piven – heard good things and he’s a great actor. Jeffrey Tambor – easily easily should win. But won’t. Damn academy.

Sup. Actress Comedy – Two and a Half Men? The hell? Megan Mullally – Fran Drescher is less annoying. Doris Roberts – did Raymond miss anybody? Jessica Walter – Fantastic in Arrested Development

Also a funny thing I saw: Scrubs is nominated for Multi-Camera Picture Editing for the episode “My Life in Four Cameras”. That episode was the Scrubs send up of the traditional way a sitcom is shot. Amazingly that even by mocking, they still do it better then most normal sitcoms.

Alright, that’s my quick Emmy input.

News and notes:

Shout out to Booter for the visit yesterday.

Shout out to Crowley cause it’s Crowley and we miss him.

The NHL season is back on. Now to find out how many people still care…

Bobby Abreau hits lots of homeruns and the HR Derby, while sucking in the new “international” format, is still fun to watch.

Until next time:

Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Na na na na na na na na, Mustard! Na na na na na na na na, Mustard! Mustard! Mustard! Mustard!

That was to the theme of Batman, if you didn’t get it.

So another year in the life of Mr. Snow has come and gone. I know for the most part I tend to rant and rave in this blog but I’m not all full of anger and contempt. So in honor of my birthday, I’m doing a 180 and presenting you with:

Things I’m Grateful For in the Past Year:

(in no particular order)

My Family, each and every semi-dysfunctional one of them

Jackasses in California and Wankers in Georgia

The Simpsons, still crazy after all these years

The Family Guy being back on TV

Jeff, that wiggle that just sleeps too doggone much

Scrubs being the funniest show on TV and still going

Scrubs on DVD!

A Star Wars movie that doesn’t suck

A Batman movie that doesn’t suck

A Van Helsing movie that sucked but I had had a few beers before which made it funnier than it was probably supposed to be

Discovering new music that is innovative and fun and actually good

Beer

Hating Booter for being all the way over at the band building and why the hell can’t he just meet us at the library? What the hell is wrong him? Why is he such an ass?

“I have to tie my shoe. You guys go on up ahead.”

“Yes.”

Get Fuzzy

Having 12 hours worth of Lord of the Rings Extended Editions on DVD

Crowley’s obsession with siege engines.

Crowley getting me hooked on Firefly.

Me getting Crowley hooked on Justice League Unlimited, Star Wars: KOTOR I and II, and Batman comics.

Being up on Crowley 3 to 1.

Pointless competition.

Now officially owning every episode of Buffy and Angel.

Bittorrent.

Coronas and chips at Mexicali blues.

New carpet.

People taking their shoes off before walking on new carpet.

Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim.

Margarita’s in 20 oz Coke bottles.

Long days by the pool.

Sunburns.

Baseball in DC.

Baseball in Atlanta.

The Mets maybe kinda almost not sucking…?

People actually reading my dumbass strip that I just started making one night when I was bored.

Peanuts, peanut butter, cats, milk, chocolate, and other things that can kill Booter.

Friends with good senses of humor.

Acceptance of male pattern baldness with grace and nobility.

Booter and Ashley’s happy new year.

Pictures of Booter and Ashley’s happy new year.

Booter’s New Year outfit.

Pictionary.

Give me my hair back! Why God why???

Strongbad.

Power hours and CD’s made for them.

A new car!

A 95 year old Great Grandmother who emails every week and is into Harry Potter.

Crowley finally posting all his collected quotes to a blog.

Wednesday nights.

Brock’s reach around on Gilmore Girls

Michel’s reach around on Brock

Erin’s first keg stand.

Erin’s last keg stand.

Did I mention it was a keg of Yuengling?

Mmmmmmm…. Yuengling.

Douglas Adams books.

Café Asia takeout.

Owning an iPod.

Not joining the "iPod nation".

Hey remember that time I got Bruce Campbell’s autograph and had birthday cake with him?

Beers on the balcony.

Concert buses and the beer provided on them and the shelter they provide from torrential downpours.

And finally a wonderful fiancée who makes me happy each and every day.

Ok, that’s not a complete list but I figure it’s enough for now, no?

Until next time:

“Boo-yah! Welcome to Kuzcotopia, my ultimate summer getaway! Complete with waterslide!”

“What?”

“Isn't it great? It's my birthday gift to me! I'm so happy!”

No, uh, he's not even behind the box, he's barely obscured by the box.

You know it…you love it… you sometimes even read it… the Mustard!

The AFI just came out with their list of top 100 movie quotes. This list is open to debate but I can’t fault most of the choices one way or another with one notable exception: “Love means never having to say you're sorry” is #13? That’s the 13 best movie quote ever? It beats out “Rosebud”? It beats out “You’re gonna need a bigger boat”? It beats out “They call me Mr. Tibbs”, “Bond, James Bond”, “We’ll always have Paris”, “Round up the Usual Suspects”???? What the hell are these people on? Nevermind that the quote is one of the dumbest and most asinine things anyone could ever possibly say but for god’s sake, #13? Is Ryan O'Neal finding time in his unemployment to be on the AFI selection committee? Cause holy hell I can’t find any other reason for that getting there.

So remember how I was saying the Mets aren’t sucking? Nevermind.

Way to go NHL Players Association! After refusing to accept a salary cap and having the entire hockey season canceled, what did you do? You accepted a friggin’ cap! Why couldn’t you have caved in about a year ago and not ruined the future of the sport?! Brilliant job, jackasses.

Holy crap, if I hear one more of these stupid goofy cutsie celebrity couple names, I’m going to lose it. Bennifer, Brangelina, TomKat…. the people who come up with this crap need to be mauled by rabid cougar.

Ok, lot of hostility going on there. I’m better now.

Moving on I present to you, #4 of my Top 5 Most Anticipate Movies of the Summer:

BATMAN BEGINS

Holy sweet jefe, was this a great movie! This started out as possibly the lowest of my 5, but damn, it’s since shot straight to the top! Honestly, this is the best movie I’ve seen this year, period. Yeah, I know, not a whole lotta Oscar worthy pictures have come along so far, but still, this was phenomenal. Any worries I had going in were proved completely needless. I loved, loved, loved the buildup this movie had. You don’t even see Batman til halfway through and I didn’t care at all! The slow burn was great up to the sweet payoff. I also love the way they portrayed Batman. I was scared to death that Batman was gonna show up and start showing off Matrix-like kung-fu fights. Not a chance. He moves through the shadows stalking his criminals, scaring the crap out of them until suddenly jumping out and beating them senseless. You’re actually seeing the action from the point of the view of the criminals as Batman takes them down, confused, shaking and unfocused. They’ve finally got Batman right in this film. He’s not the campy, colorful, joking putz that Schumacher turned him into the past two films. He doesn’t dress like a bat to show up at charity auctions with an eff-ing Mastercard! He dresses like a bat to scare the living piss out of criminals! Which is what this movie shows. Hell, this movie is a scary movie in and of itself. Little kids would be balling their eyes out at some parts of it. I love it! Please God let them keep this up through the sequels. Everything about Batman’s arsenal and tactics are explained here unlike the other movies, and they all make sense which is amazing considering the stuff he does. Christian Bale plays a perfect Bruce Wayne, the cocky rich playboy in public. But as Batman, he’s even better. The scene where he’s interrogating a crooked cop who he has hanging upside down over the side of a building suspended from a rope, is one of my favorites in the movie. Everyone in this movie does a great job. Cillian Murphy as Dr. Crane/Scarecrow is phenomenally creepy. Gary Oldman as Sgt. Gordon… finally we have a Gordon who isn’t some lazy ass who sits around waiting for Batman to solve all his problems! He’s an active policeman, one of the few honest ones in the city, and it’s about damn time he was shown that way. Michael Caine as Alfred is exactly as he should be, supporting Bruce but conflicted by it. Liam Neeson is so much more than I was expecting in the movie. He’s such a good actor and he’s fantastic here. Ditto Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox who had a bigger role than I expected and I’m damn happy about it. Hell, even Katie Holmes, who I was sure would stick out like a sore thumb, does a good job. While I would probably still have preferred to have the Harvey Dent character in this role, she plays her character exactly as needed, the steady, level-headed foil to Batman’s emotional, action-oriented mindset. The only minor quibble I may have with this movie is Ken Watanabe. He’s only in the movie for like 5 minutes! It’s nothing more than a brief cameo rather than the major part I was expecting him to play. Ah well, still a great movie. The last scene could also be one of my favorites but since the reviews I’ve read have all been missing this, I’d like to point something out. ...... POSSIBLE SPOILER BUT NOT REALLY JUST DON'T READ IF YOU WANT TO BE COMPLETELY SURPRISED…… the Joker reference in the final scene, while possibly setting up the sequel, is actually a reference the Batman: Year One graphic novel by Frank Miller which ends very similarly (Great novel by the way, if you want to see where this movie really came from). Ok, so that’s enough, stop reading and go see this movie already!

News and Notes:

Currently writing the strip and will hopefully start Ep. 5 in the next week or so.

Meeting Bruce Campbell tonight!!! Mwa ha ha ha!

Back home for the bro’s graduation. God, I feel old.

George Romero made another “Dead” movie. I’m rather intrigued…

Alright you chowdah-heads, until next time:

“After all these years, are you still afraid of me?”

”Well, remember on Thanksgiving when I said your turkey was dry and you picked me up and shook me?”

”Well, then, don't say that.”

Dude, why eat medical supplies when you've got pudding and tater tots right here? It makes no sense!

Holy forgotten blog, Batman! The Mustard has come back?

Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s been freaking forever since I updated this thing. What can I say, I’m a busy man, doing busy things. The job has been murder lately and I’ve also wanted to get the strip out a little more often than I had been, so the blog got pushed back. But I’m back baby!

Speaking of the strip, Episode 4 is finished! Yay! Probably take a little time before the next one, seeing as how I haven’t really written it yet, but I’ll get something out soon.

Remembered Crowley’s birthday this year! Go me!

Holy crap, how crazy is the National East this year? Every team over .500! The Mets aren’t sucking! The Nats are in first frickin’ place!

I have a policy where I try to review every movie I see, regardless of what is it. So without further ado I give you my review of:

THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS

Not only did I see this movie, I saw it on opening night. Wow. Yes it’s a chick flick. No, it’s not a crappy one. So here we go, the good: I was heartened by the fact that Alexis Bledel is in it as her performances on the Gilmore Girls and Sin City have been quite entertaining. The performances in general are quite good in this movie. The four leads play their characters well and seem to really be into it. The movie itself actually deals with the different issues these girls face quite well, without sinking too much into the usual chick flick clichés. I’ve never read the books and quite frankly I never will read the books, but I have a suspicion the movie succeeds in it’s themes due mostly to the books' writing. I’ve heard they made major changes to some of the stories but the movie comes off quite well in that I never got lost on plot points due to lack of familiarity with the source material. The not so good: With some of the plotlines I was actually surprised how relatively deep and realistic they went with them, and I hoped that they would stick with it. Unfortunately, they fell into the trap at the end of feeling the need to tie up every loose end. This hurts the movie greatly in that it suffers from Return of the King syndrome with way too many endings. ROTK at least earned it as it was a 3 part epic trilogy. In this movie it just comes off as a cop out, refusting to actually allow the movie to not end everything all nice and happy. Yes, I get that it’s a chick flick but I almost believed halfway through the movie that they might finish it off without trying to make me leave the theater feeling all fuzzy. Final verdict, this isn’t gonna be something guys gather around to drink beers and watch but as far as a date movie goes, you could do far far worse *cough* Prince and Me *cough*.

Opening tonight: Batman Begins. The positive buzz on this is making me so happy. Now if only it included a scene of Batman burning an effigy of Joel Schumacher, it just might be the greatest movie ever.

Music You Should Be Listening To:

The Thrills – So Much For The City

Great, low key, alt-rock with a slightly country twist, this Irish band puts together some good music. Check out One Horse Town for the album’s highlight.

Green Day – American Idiot

Green Day grew up and put out possibly the best album of last year. Good for them. Honestly, this is album is fantastic and while unabashedly a concept album with Green Day foregoing their typical 2 and half minute quick radio-friendly fare which may turn off some of their younger fans, this is the best thing Green Day has ever done by far. Who knew doing a very artsy album would actually improve Green Day’s sound?

News and notes:

June 22^nd, I get to meet Bruce Campbell. Giggity-giggity-giggity!

Booter officially has an agent. God speed little doodle!

Scrubs Season One DVD is amazing. The show is just brilliant people! Why aren't more people watching it? Damn you NBC!

Until next time:

“The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: I hate my body.”

“What!?”

“Do you understand that the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle!”

“You should give speeches to teenage girls.”

I Miss You So Much It Hurts Somtimes

Holy Sweet Mother Mary Moses Mcgee, the Mustard is back!

Yeah, yeah, I know, haven’t updated in a while. Been a busy few weeks.

So the countdown begins as we are only one day away from the finale of Lost which, in my book, closes down this year’s television season. In good news, Arrested Development is coming back! In bad news, those a-holes at NBC have push Scrubs back to mid-season replacement. I’m not gonna go off on a rant. I’m just going to FREAKIN HATE NBC!!!! JOEY?!! YOU’RE BRINGING BACK THAT INANE, MINDLESS WRECK OF A SHOW BUT YOU CAN’T PUT SCRUBS ON YOUR NORMAL SCHEDULE?!!!! DAMN YOU NBC!!!!!

I’m better now.

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for:

REVIEW OF STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH

The fact that this movie blows away the previous two installments is somewhat diminished by the mediocrity of those movies. Don’t get me wrong, I liked both of them in their own ways. The Darth Maul/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan fight was badass. And everyone loved finally seeing Yoda kick ass. But the first one suffered from being way too “kiddy” and the second suffered from some of the most stilted love dialogue ever conceived by the human brain. Oh yeah, and Jar Jar Eff-ing Binks (by the way, hilarious cameo by George Lucas on the O.C. when he says that instead of going to his senior prom, he sat at home thinking up Jar Jar and the Ewoks). After seeing the third one, I actually appreciate the first two a little more because they make a little more sense. You can actually see things were in fact building towards events in Episode III. And as for Episode III itself: Frickin’ great. Seriously, this is the first of the new Star Wars to actually make me feel as I was watching it that this is how people must’ve felt watching the originals when the first came out. The opening space battle was excellent though I felt a little short as far as the actually space battling went. The rescue of the chancellor is a good introduction to Anakin’s beginning decline to the dark side as well as a good intro of General Grievous (who by the way, is nothing like he’s portrayed in the Clone Wars mini-series). The dialogue at the beginning of the movie, let’s face it, isn’t fantastic, especially between Natalie Portman and Hayden Christiansen. It’s initially very reminiscent of the Episode II dialogue. Luckily, this improves as the movie goes on. The person who absolutely makes this movie is Ian McDiarmind as Palpatine. He’s just fantastic as little by little he lures Anakin to the dark side. And it’s done brilliantly I feel. Anakin’s problem is that he’s a super powerful Jedi, yet all the other Jedi, with the exception of Obi-Wan, treat him like he’s just a normal kid. He’s arrogant and impatient but you feel like he’d get over it if the Jedi council members would just treat him like an equal. Instead the only who treats him as an equal is the friggin’ bad guy! And after all that he still knows that what he’s doing is wrong but he does it anyways. Why? Cause he fears losing his wife. It’s such a normal thing to fear but the Jedi spend all there time telling him not to form these attachments that can (and will) be exploited and none of them actually think for a second, well what happens if he does it anyways? So who does he turn to? The only person who actually says, yes, I can help you. He makes a deal with the devil. And it’s painful to watch this guy who is just trying to do the right thing, fall completely. There’s a scene where Obi-Wan goes off on a mission and he is saying goodbye to Anakin and they’re joking around and talking like the best of friends and it’s just so sad when you realize, this is it, this is the last time they’ll ever be friends. There’s also a great scene when Anakin is debating what to do that’s just really well shot as it’s completely silent but it displaces shots of Anakin and Padme in two separate places staring out the windows as time is running out for Anakin to make a decision and it gets to the point that it looks like they’re looking across this city at each other. There are more character moments in this movie than in the previous two combined. And seeing as I how I just spent more time on those than any of the action sequences should tell you something. And by the way, the effects are excellent. When a completely CGI character is substituted for a real one, it’s still not perfect but it’s getting there. The final duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan is just brutal (this movie earns its PG-13 rating) and the ending of it is fantastic but it sure doesn’t leave you feeling good inside. In fact this whole movie is one helluva downer. Luckily, it’s also one helluva good movie. And it’s very cool seeing Darth Vader finally rise. It’s also really weird to think, that’s it. No more Star Wars. I felt the same thing after Return of the King but this is a little different. The LOTOR series came out in 3 years. This new trilogy has been coming out since high school. If you include the whole series, it’s been coming out my entire life. Strange to think that there won’t be anymore. But I’m damn happy with the note it’s gone out on. And if nothing else, we’ll have multiple editions of the DVDs to buy over the years.

Ok, so by my count that makes 3 out of my 5 most anticipated summer movies over with. Batman Begins is up next on June 15^th. If anything the look of the movie is better than anything Joel Schumacher did with the last two. Nipples on the Batsuit? What the hell was he smoking?

Quick news and notes:

Booter updated the blog. Go Booter!

Crowley updated the blog. Go Crowley!

The strip has been slowed with updates recently due to my lack of sleep. But I’m getting them out. Eventually.

Scrubs on DVD!

Until next time:

At what point did I become a crazy person?

Oh, come on. Yes, exposing yourself to a dead guy might have been a tad unorthodox; and yes, it might be a little hard to live down....

I'm waiting for the "but."

So is everyone else around here.

Jesus loves me. He loves me a bunch. That's why he puts Skippy in my lunch.

Greetings all. Not a huge update today as I’m completely wiped from work.

So another season over for Scrubs. Sad am I. Interesting setup for next season though. With Elliot leaving the hospital is she being written off or possibly downgraded to guest star? I know a certain person of short stature would be most distraught if that was the case. Also is Jordan being set up to be more of a main character push rather than the occasional guest star? We’ll just have to wait and see I suppose.

So Scrubs is the first show of mine to end along with Veronica Mars. Gilmore Girls and the OC end next week. Luckily there’s still another 3 weeks of Lost. And judging by the previews, it’s gonna be strong all the way til the 2 hour finale.

The summer is fast approaching folks. Now if my damn apartment complex pool would just open. I’m in the mood for margaritas and grilling by the pool.

Music to listen to:

The White Stripes – Elephant

Love the opening guitar riff on Seven Nation Army. In fact the bluesy guitar work in general on this album is just great and shouts to be cranked out as loud as your speaker goes. The softer, balladesque songs like You’ve Got Her in Your Pocket are also quite fine here.

Nick Drake – Pink Moon

Continuing in the talented artists who died way too young (yeah, I also recommend Jeff Buckley), you may have caught him on the Garden State soundtrack. Very calm, almost hauntingly so, this album is just beautiful and brilliant.

News and Notes:

Again I must ask: where didst all the other blogs go?

If there’s one thing TV has taught me, it’s that a good Joseph Stalin gag will redeem any slow episode.

Seriously, I’ve got nothing.

Until next time:

“Hey, settle down!”

“I don’t have to listen to you. You’re a dog. You don’t have a soul!”

“Ouch!”

Let he who is without sin kick the first ass!

Ah, the Family Guy is back and as offensive and irreverent as ever. The Passion of the Christ 2 spoof was hilarious. And Ollie the weatherman is back: He gonna get it!

To say things have been busy lately is an understatement akin to saying I wasn’t all the surprised when Britney Spears announced she was pregnant.

Well, new Family Guy episodes are something to look forward to as we head into finale season. Lost is back after a great cliffhanger and no one has any idea where the hell they’re going with any of this. And I couldn’t be happier.

Now onto my review of the second on my top 5 anticipated summer movies list:

THE HITCHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY:
From what I read people are pretty split on this movie. Non-fans either loved the zaniness of it all or just didn’t get it. Fans either loved the reverence given to Douglas’ works or hated the changes made. Personally, I loved it. I won’t say much that hasn’t already been said in other favorable reviews. The casting is great. Sam Rockwell is just insane and is one of my favorite actors today. Martin Freeman is the perfect Arthur Dent. Mos Def brings the subtleness to Ford found in the books. Zooey Deschanel is good as Trillian though I always thought she was a little less happy-go-lucky in the books than she’s portrayed in the movie. Marvin is great and Alan Rickman could not have been a more perfect choice to voice him. Supporting cast members also do a superb job. The opening musical number (yes, musical number) was the perfect way to kick off the movie and show just how crazy this movie is gonna be. I was worried at how they were going to supply all the narrative background which provides some of the funniest moments in the books but those fears were put to rest as the Guide itself is used to supply this information in a voiceover. And let me tell you, the Guide might be the funniest part of the whole movie. The fact that they kept the whale and petunias scene from the book made me so happy especially with the Guide narrating the petunia’s thoughts. And the Vogon bureaucracy was hilarious. The spoof on attempting a gun blazin’ jailbreak only to be reduced to filling out forms was just great. There were two issues I had with the movie. One was the romantic subplot added between Arthur and Trillian. That reeked too much of Disney interference and just didn’t not need to be in there. Not every movie needs bloody romance in it! Second was that there were too many open ends which probably were left in for the sequels that I do sincerely hope they make. But I’m not a fan of doing things like that unless they specifically say that this is part of one of a larger movie ala Lord of the Rings. And I’m not talking about small characters saying something cryptic that will be answered in another film. I’m talking whole big scenes in the movie that just don’t get resolved (as in the entire reason John Malkovich is even in the movie). But those quibbles aside, I laughed my ass off at this movie and while I may be a fan of the books, I think anyone who enjoys quirky, off the wall yet still halfway intelligent humor will enjoy this movie.

Next up: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith
(please don’t suck, please don’t suck, please done suck.)

News and notes:

Snuck in a few random updates to the strip to make up for the week I took off.

Finally finished KOTOR so I can have my life back again. I even beat Crowley to it though me sabotaging his hard drive might have had something to do with it. Mwa ha ha!

Now there’s the second one to attend to… damn!

Alright all, until next time:

"Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?"

"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that."

"I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?"

"Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes."

"...Touche'."

Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore a shirt with a rhinestone penis and my grandmother had her car towed.

I won’t lie, I laughed harder at last night’s Gilmore Girls than I laughed during just about any other show this year not named Scrubs. And yes for the last time I’m straight!

Not much going on chicos and chicas. Mets are continuing to be interesting to watch (did you see Saturday’s beatdown on the Nationals?) and therefore by them not sucking, I’m happy. I’ll actually be catching the game this Friday when they’re in town to play the Nats again.

Albums you should be listening to:

Franz Ferdinand – Franz Ferdinand
The guitar riff on Take Me Out alone is worth the price of admission but this is also a really good album. Reminded me a little of Modest Mouse’s latest… if Modest Mouse was singing all the time as opposed to screaming. Check out the opener Jacqueline as well as Matinee. This album is meant to be played with the amp at 11.

Elliot Smith – From A Basement On The Hill
Unbelievably tragic, the loss of this ridiculously talented artist. This album was still in development when Smith died so it’ll never actually be known what it would’ve sounded like had he completed it. But released as it was as it was, this is a pretty powerful album. And I dare you to listen to A Fond Farewell knowing the circumstance of Smith’s death and not get emotional.

News and Notes:

FAMILY GUY IS BACK!!! THIS SUNDAY!!!! GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY!!!

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy comes out this Friday. Wooooooooo!

Have you noticed that the new ads for XXX 2 have the Who playing in the background? Ok, XXX is supposed to be the new "anti"-Bond for the young generation. Last one was all about crazy punk music. So they figured the Who would really entice the teenage crowd? What the hell are these idiots thinking?

The new Gavin DeGraw music video for Chariot directed by Zach Braff is out. Great cameo by Donald Faison (Turk) in it. And I love DeGraw’s album and I think he’s an extraordinarily talented artist but damn, he might be one of the ugliest men on earth. Maybe it was just bad makeup and wardrobe but yikes man, get some sun.

Ripping off the Zach Braff blog but still funny as hell: http://www.realpie.com/funny_video/video_pop.html

New trailer for Serenity is out and damn I wanna see that movie.

Strip back up and running. AOL’s been fussy lately for some reason so if you get a page cannot be displayed error just refresh your browser.

Alright banditos y banditas, until next time:

"Unforunately for Jake he still had to pass mustard with Turk and me and nothing is quite as daunting as our good guy test."

"Well I could use a beer."

"I got this round. Be right back."

"Good guy!"
"Great guy!"
"Nice choice!"

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot

Hididily-ho Mustarinos.

Quick lil’ update today as things have been ridiculous lately and I have time for nothing these days.

To quote the illustrious Doc Brown: Great Scott! The Mets have gone from 0-5 to 7-7. Where the hell did this come from? Not that I’m complaining. And to show how tough their division is, they’re the only division in Major League Baseball right now that does not have a single team with a losing record. And how bout them Nationals? Granted we’re less than a month into the season but they’ve had one hell of an April. Was Montreal really that bad?

Movie Review:

Sin City – Well about time seeing as how it’s been out three weeks and I listed it as one of my top 5 most anticipated movies. So how’d I like it? This movie will be playing next fall in every male college dorm DVD player all the time. It’s a movie you’ll put on at 3 in the morning cause what the hell, nothing like a little blood and carnage at that time of night. I enjoyed the hell out of this movie but it’s not for everyone. And for all those comparisons to Kill Bill violence, trust me, this goes a full three steps beyond that benchmark. This is a savage comic book gone wild. Yeah, sure Kill Bill had a scene where Uma Thurman slices through an army of sword wielding Yakuza. But it was played very over the top. This movie has that over the top violence sure, but not all the time. A lot of the time it’s visceral, gritty and as realistic as death by swastika throwing star gets. The style of this movie is amazing. These scenes are lifted shot for shot out of the graphic novels themselves and it looks fantastic. The performances are note perfect. Mickey Rourke…yeah, it’s actually him under all that makeup and man he is freaky as hell and yet almost sympathetic. Elijah Wood…good bye Frodo, hello silent psychotic killer. Clive Owen… essence of cool, Bruce Willis… awesome as the frail cop trying to do one last thing right, Benecio Del Toro… fantastically unhinged, Rosario Dawson… keep her the hell away from me, Alexis Bedel… Rory’s nowhere to be seen, Nick Stahl…evil Yellow Bastard … there’s too many great performances to comment on every single one. Powers Booth is only in the movie for about two minutes but in that minute he totally steals the show. Imagine if his Deadwood character suddenly became a Senator. So here’s what I say: this movie is a comic adaptation like you wouldn’t believe but be prepared for how violent it’s gonna be. You keep that in mind, it’s one helluva ride.

News and notes:

Scrubs – continuing to make me happy

Yeah, I know I blew my usual Monday deadline with the strip. It’s been ridiculously busy and I wanted to see Sin City. I’ll put more up soon, promise.

It’s a slow week for notes.

Until next time kiddos:

“All right, you three can go in.”

“Word.”

“You're out.”

“Oh, look, sir, please, just—“

“Baby, I got this. Don't worry about this. Listen here, man, homey here, you know, he's a little outta his mizzle, so I'm just saying, for just a little bizzle, if you let him up in this pizzle, he'll be all chizzle!”

‘You out too.”

I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.

No man, just the Mustard, the Mustard!

Been a long week folks but all kinds of things on the horizon. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. The weather is officially hitting springtime levels which is nice but it will lead inexorably into summer weather which is where I start to show that I grew up in the north and have no tolerance to heat and humidity.

I just have to say one thing: Enough with the bleepin’ Red Sox already. You won. I’m really happy for you. Seriously I am. But I’ve had enough of this overly drawn out victory celebration. Congrats, you won the World Series. You should have! With that team? Hell, the Marlins had more reason to celebrate when they won in ’04. They were a team no one gave a chance and the blew pasted the same hated Yankees you did last year except the Marlin’s salary was a helluva lot less then what the Sox did it with. Yes, you won for the first time in 86 years. Do you realize that the Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908. 1908!!! If they don’t win in the next 3 years it’ll be a century since their last title. They haven’t even been in a World Series since 1945! 60 years since even playing for the title! The last played in the World Series the same year WWII ended! Now that is a long history of failure.

To be fair I don’t entirely blame Red Sox fans for keeping this endless trend going. Major League Baseball is milking it for all it’s worth. Have you seen the Red Sox/Yankee schedules this year? Let’s see when they play each other: First game of the season. Opening day in both Yankee stadium and Fenway. Memorial Day weekend. First game after the all-star break. And oh look twice in September including the last series of the season. Good lord, I get it. They’re rivals! They’re your two highest profile teams. But right now they both have only one win more than the Mets and if you’ve been paying attention to the Mets season so far that ain’t a good thing. So do everyone a favor and let the whole die down just a little. It’s gonna be a good year for baseball. Hopefully my Mets will learn how not to blow a save. And you know what? We can pick up this over hyped rivalry at the end of the year if and only if both are in contention for the playoffs.

Ok, that’s my baseball rant. Thanks for your time.

Movie Review:

Fever Pitch – yeah, so continuing with the Red Sox…. I’ll be honest, I laughed at the movie. It’s a cute, inoffensive romantic comedy. Jimmy Fallon didn’t piss me off so that in and of itself was surprising. I still stand by my opinion that if you eliminated a few of the Red Sox insider jokes, this movie could’ve been about any sports fan (which technically is true as this movie is actually an American remake of a British movie). The thing that makes it work is that deep down it’s about the fundamental differences between men and women. Yes, using the sports metaphor to represent men is a bit cliché but at the same time, it works. Special note: when Jimmy Fallon misses the huge come from behind victory because he was out at Drew Barrymore’s friend’s party and goes off on her (the point where all the women are supposed to be like, he’s such a dick, it’s only a game!), Erin leans over to me and whispers: “Yeah, I’d be pissed if I missed that game too!” This is why I love her folks.

News and Notes:

After getting Crowley hooked on it, I’m now hooked on the first Knights of the Old Republic game for PC. It’s addicting damnit!

Episode 4 of the strip is coming along. Still continuing the standard Monday uploads with random chapters put up on other days as I get to them.

Veronica Mars renewed for next year. No one watches it but me I know, but it’s a good show people!

Please please please let them renew Arrested Development! Awesome Zach Braff cameo last week.

Somewhat surprised to see Malcolm in the Middle get renewed for next year. I mean the show has actually been excellent this year. Far better than the past couple years. I just didn’t think it was enough of a ratings pull. Who knew?

Why in the hell is the new commercial for Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy portraying the movie as a sci-fi action/adventure? It’s a friggin’ comedy! Is the marketing department for Disney that stu- oh wait, it’s Disney. Yes.

Alright all, until next time:

“Yes, baby, Molly is attractive. But she doesn't hold a candle to my Puerto Rican princess!”

“For the last time, Turk: I'm Dominican!”

We can watch 'Kangaroo Jack' and chug a Foster's every time they say "g'day"!

Welcome welcome one and all to that blog they call ‘The Mustard’.

My Illini were defeated in what turned out to be one fine NCAA championship. Seeing as how I didn’t really have a chance at winning the pool, it’s not all that bad. I still take pride in picking the W. Virginia upset over Wake and the Michigan State final four appearance.

Baseball season has begun! Here’s me going into the bottom of the 9^th for the Mets opener in Cincinnati: alright, Kaz Matsui hitting a homer in his first at bat for the second year in a row...awesome. Carlos Beltran earning his contract going 3 for 5 with a double and a homerun and bringing in 3 RBI’s. Fantastic. Even Pedro got it together after a shaky first inning where he gave up a 3 run homer and proceeded to notch up 12 K’s and didn’t let in another run. Dae-Sung Koo comes in for some nice short relief by striking out 2 in the 8^th and not giving up anything. Things are looking good. Don’t know who this Looper guy is but all he has to do is hold a 2 run lead in the 9^th. And the Reds haven’t done anything since the first inning. Ok, first batter… base hit. Second batter….and damnit, it’s a homerun. Third batter…and there’s another homerun. Game over. Mets lose. MOTHER F@#$%!!!!!

They break my heart folks.

Then again you Red Sox fans know my pain. Mr. Jeter did the same thing to you yesterday. But you can take solace in the fact that the Sox pulled out the 9^th inning comeback today thanks to a big error by A-Rod. Here’s hoping the Met can pull it together tonight.

Albums currently on repeat:

Iron & Wine – Our Endless Numbered Days
Great low key album for just relaxing. This is the same artist who did the Such Great Heights cover on the Garden State soundtrack. If you enjoyed that cover, you’ll enjoy this album. High points worth checking out include Naked As We Came, Sunset Soon Forgotten and Sodom, South Georgia. Highly Recommended.

Radiohead – OK Computer
Yeah, not exactly new but come on, it’s their best album giving us both Karma Police and one of the greatest guitar riffs ever with Paranoid Android. Radiohead isn’t for everyone but for those who do enjoy their music, it doesn’t get much better than this.

Hey hey hey, it’s Episode IV! That’s right folks, I told you I’d get it out and I did. You wanted new characters? Done. You wanted better effects? Done. You wanted crazy, self-referential in-jokes and obscure pop-culture references? Well too bad, you’re getting them anyways. Wooooooo!

Alright, comprades that’s all for this week. Until next time:

“Mmmm, Mulattos!”

“They’re Milanos you idiot.”

“I always thought that was a little bigoted for a cookie.”

By the by, this moment is so great that I would cheat on that other moment with it, marry it, and raise a family of tiny little moments.

Greetings all. The Mustard returns once again to delight and inform you. Or at least help you waste a few extra minutes.

I was in Florida for the weekend. I miss Florida. Florida was warm. There was a beach there. I got sunburned while laying out, drinking a cold one and listening to a little Jack Johnson (excellent beach/laying out music). It is cold, overcast and rainy here. Damn.

So we’re down to the Final Four. Huzzah for Michigan St. I nailed that one. And I came so damn close with the W. Virginia game. How do you blow that lead? Though I give to Louisville, they’re a great team. Now I need them to not be great and lose to Illinois. The worst part is I have UNC in my other bracket. You know, the one that was blown as soon as Syracuse lost. So that helps me not at all. But if UNC loses this one, and Illinois wins, I’m in pretty good shape. How great was that Illinois game by the way?

Current albums getting playing time (classic edition):

Van Morrison – Moondance.

Van Morrison is one of the best lyricists ever and his Moondance album proves it. This is Van Morrison at his best (no, Brown Eyed Girl is NOT on this album. The man had more than one song, people.) The whole album is fantastic. And It Stoned Me might be his best song ever, followed up by Moondance which might be his second best and then with Crazy Love. Great album.

Grateful Dead – Working Man’s Dead

Not a jam session to be found on this album, just some good folk and blues inspired music book ended by Uncle John’s Band and Casey Jones which is one helluva sandwich. No drugs necessary to enjoy.

Random news and notes:

Lost is finally back from repeats this Wednesday as we have a Locke centered episode. Sweeeeet.

Bad news: Arrested Development doesn’t look like it’s gonna make it to Season 3 which is terrible news to anyone who enjoys well written TV. I do not understand this at all. Fox has so much crap on that doesn’t get good ratings or reviews, why not cut those out and try and boost some marketing towards the show that won you a best comedy emmy for only the 2^nd time ever and the first since 1999? Damn you Fox!

On the positive news end, Cartoon Network has green lighted a new season of the Venture Bros for its Adult Swim lineup next year. The show is weird as hell but absolutely hilarious.

Speaking of Cartoon Network, the entire season 3 of its Clone Wars mini-series is now up on the main site. With the new 12 minute format, it’s even better than the first batch and leads directly into the opening crawl of the new movie in May.

The spring movie season is starting up folks. Sin City opens this Friday and I can’t wait.

Episode IV of the strip will be going up next Monday. I do have the beginning written and was contemplating putting up a chapter tonight but it’s gonna involve a lot of new artwork that’s gonna take me some time to do. So rather than rush it out I’m gonna give it a week and I promise you’ll have a couple chapters up by next Monday. See? Isn’t this better than the month I took off after last time?

Crowley’s updated his blog again. Go Crowley!

Until next time peoples:

"There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense. "

"No, actually, that would be one of the five."

Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

Hellooooooooooooo Mustard.

Another rather quick update this week as March isn’t the most exciting month of the year. The movies suck. February sweeps are over so shows are just in repeats. The only real excitement comes from the NCAA basketball tournament which leads me to…

Ha! I’m just about the only man on the planet who picked the WV upset over Wake Forest. Why did I pick it? Cause Wake has let me down every year I root for them so this year I just said screw it, I’m giving them one win and they’re gonna blow it. And I was right. The other big upset I picked? Bucknell over Kansas. Come on, who da man? Actually I can’t say much cause I had Syracuse doing a whole helluva lot better not to mention UConn at least making the final four. I guess I shouldn’t have had that much faith in the Big East.

So current recommendations:

DVD:
The Incredibles – ok, so despite the ridicule I’ve taken over my previous long-winded review of the movie when it was in theaters, I stand by the fact that this movie ruled. But if you want another reason: this DVD rules. This has some fantastic extras. One, the deleted scenes (while in animated storyboards) are really interesting as they interview writer Brad Bird about them and unlike most DVD’s when the director is just like, yeah, we cut this scene cause it was totally pointless and it made the movie too long, these deleted scenes are actually major points to the story, most of which would’ve totally changed the way the movie went. So it’s interesting to hear what he has to say about cutting them. Two, the extra short Jack-Jack Attack isn’t just an extra short created for the DVD but actually fits perfectly in where it could’ve been a deleted scene. It chronicles the events that took place in the Parr household with the babysitter and Jack Jack while the family was away. It’s the Zeppo episode of the movie (to use a Buffy reference). And it’s hilarious to see the powers Jack Jack comes up with. Think just about every super power you can imagine. And finally there’s a short call Mr. Incredible and Pals, a spoof on the 1950s superhero cartoons back when the weird mouth thing they do on the Conan O’Brian show was what they actually did in kids cartoons. It’s a hilarious sendup of those serials including multiple references to the evils of Communism and a cute bunny sidekick named Mr. Skipperdoo. But what makes it better is that you can watch it with a commentary track done by Mr. Incredible and Frozone. And hearing Samual L. Jackson go off in a way I haven’t heard since Jules got pissed at Vincent in Pulp Fiction is friggin hilarious.

Notes:

Good news for Lost fans as ABC ordered an extended season which means the season finale will be a two parter with the second part actually being 2 episodes shown back to back with no commercials. So that means the finale will technically be 3 episodes shown in 2 nights.

For those of you excited about Star Wars Episode 3 in coming in May, Cartoon Network has started up another season of its fantastic clone wars series. The first season made up of 2 and 3 minute shorts might have actually been better than both episodes one and two. This season, the episodes are 15 mins long and based on the first one which aired tonight, it’s looking to be just as good and will lead directly to the opening scene of Revenge of the Sith. It airs a new episode every day this week or checkout the Cartoon Network website to see them online.

I’m currently busy writing the next episode of the strip so look for episode IV coming soon, perhaps as early as next Monday but definitely by the Monday after that.

Until next time:

“There's a man here who says he can help you.”
”Is it Batman?”
”He's a scientist.”
”Batman's a scientist.”
”It's not Batman!”

It's been St. Patrick's Day for hours and I'm still not drunk yet!

Dum ditty dum ditty dum the shiny Mustard!

Happy St. Patrick’s day to you all. A day when everyone is a little bit Irish except of course for the gays and the Italians (and no hate mail over the joke, it’s a Simpson’s quote. I have nothing against gays. Italians on the other hand…). I hope everyone is gearing up for a night of happy light social drinking. And for all you who are, get out! I got no room for cheapskates. Ok, I’ll stop with the Simpson’s quotes and just recommend you check out http://www.snpp.com/episodes/4F15. SNPP is a great site for everything Simpson’s related.

So I hope everyone got their NCAA brackets filled out and we can all get on with our lives while running ESPN’s scoreboard in a minimized browser on our computers and hitting ALT-TAB to check the score every 30 seconds. Unless you’re my boss, who was smart and just took today and tomorrow off so he can enjoy the games hassle free.

Just a quick update for today as there’s just not been a whole lot of note going on, yet I’ve found myself ridiculously busy lately. And if you want to know anything about Natural Family Planning, I’ve become an expert after my Pre-Cana last weekend.

Recent albums finding lots of playing time lately:

Bright Eyes – I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning - Since it seems all the rage lately, Bright Eyes put out this album simultaneously with another one: Digital Ash in a Digital Urn. While Digital Ash isn’t a bad album, its foray into electronica doesn’t blend as well as other attempts like the Postal Service’s Give Up. Wide Awake however is a very catchy indie folk rock album that has a couple songs that you find yourself humming later that day. Another Travelin’ Song and Land Locked Blues are strong lead-ins to Poison Oak which may be the best song on the album. Strangely the album ends with Road to Joy which is probably the album’s low point. The combination of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy with the screaming vocals taken right from Dashboard Confessional just seems an odd capper for an otherwise mellow album. But other than that the album flows really well complimented on some tracks by the vocal support of Emmylou Harris.

And appropriate enough for St. Patrick’s Day:

Carbon Leaf – Echo Echo and Indian Summer – Both these Irish folk rock albums are enjoyable and are reminiscent of the Paperboys or even a really mellow Black 47 (if Black 47 has ever been mellow). While Echo Echo is the better album, both are very catchy with the upbeat tempos and fun wordplay typically associated with Irish folk rock (as opposed to the harder Irish rock of the Thrills). Check out The Boxer and Mary Mac on Echo Echo and Life Less Ordinary and What About Everything on Indian Summer for some of the better tracks.

“K, you’re right. Not a book thing… It’s a phone thing!”
“Who ya gonna call? God that phrase isn't ever gonna be usable again, is it?”
“Doubt it.”

I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away: "Miniature" "Golf".

Greetings all. Hope all is well. Had a lovely little weekend with some quality family time, some good meals and laughs and one malfunctioning toilet.

March Madness is in the air and isn’t it sweet? (*written 2 days ago*) If ND doesn’t blow it they should secure themselves a birth in the tournament this year. They won’t get too far but it’ll be a fun time while it lasts. (*written today*) Well, they blew it. Losing to Rutgers. Goodbye tourney hopes. ND sports blows it in crunch time again. But props to the women’s team for their 4 seed in their tournament. Ouch to Illinois for blowing their undefeated season the last game of the season. D’oh!

Caught Be Cool over the weekend. Not as good as Get Shorty but pretty good and if nothing else, funny. The all-star cast of the original gets updated to today’s modern stars. Out are Gene Hackman, Rene Russo, Dennis Farina. In come Vince Vaughn, Uma Thurman, Harvey Keitel, Cedric the Entertainer, Andre 3000 and the Rock. Not a bad cast. Cedric gets a good Quentin Tarantino-esque monologue and Andre and the Rock are hilarious playing parodies of themselves. Vince Vaughn starts to grate on the nerves a little after a while but on the whole, the movie is a good time.

So seeing as how we’re fast approaching the new year’s movie season when studios start actually giving a rat’s ass about movies and not putting out schlock like The Pacifier (remember when Vin Diesel was working with Steven Spielberg in Saving Private Ryan?), I thought I’d whip out my list of :

Top 5 movies I’m Most Looking Forward To

(in order of release)

Sin City – April 1^st

I’ve never read the comics so I can’t speak for how good they may be, but there’s 3 reasons I’m psyched about this movie: 1) Robert Rodriguez – The man behind the El Mariachi trilogy has some serious style behind his films. Yeah, a lot of people didn’t like Once Upon a Time in Mexico. I’ll be honest, I didn’t buy Willem Defoe as a Mexican either no matter how much makeup he was wearing but still the movie worked great as a capper to the trilogy. 2) The Look – this could be the Sky Captain of 2005 with is fantastic noir black & white look. No matter how good the movie ends up being, it’s going to be some serious eye candy. 3) The Cast – Ok, let’s see here: Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Mickey Rourke (the Harley Davidson guy?), Benecio Del Toro, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Elijah Wood, Nick Stahl, Brittany Murphy, Jamie King, Alexis Bledel, Josh Hartnett, Michael Madsen and Michael Duncan Clark…… ok then.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – May 6^th

If you’ve never read these books, stop reading, go out to your car, drive to Barnes and Noble, walk inside, find the books under author Douglas Adams, buy them, walk out, buy a Dr. Pepper, sit down and read them. These books are truly the most twisted, messed up, mind-boggling, warped, and without a doubt funniest books ever written. I mean how great is a book which involves the destruction of earth, political intrigue, torture by poetry, a clinically depressed robot, the creation of earth and gives you the answer to life, the universe and everything? This movie looks to keep that trend up perfectly. Fantastic casting, including Sam Rockwell as Zaphod Beeblebrox (if you saw him in Galaxy Quest or Confessions of a Dangerous Mind you know how fantastic an actor he is.) and Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin the Paranoid Android. Hell yes.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith – May 19^th

Ok, this is it. The last one. The Omega. The finale. Good bye Obi Wan. Is it going to kick ass? I think so. Why? One, because it’s going to take most of the political jargon and half-hearted love speak and throw it out the window in favor of lightsabers and space battles. Sweeeeeet. Lucas has gone on record as saying this will probably be the first Star Wars with a PG-13 rating. That’s fantastic because this is supposed to be a dark movie and I was scared to death that Lucas was gonna start chopping away at the good stuff to get it down to PG. But it looks like he’s sticking to his guns, making me actually happy with him for the first time since I saw Jar Jar Binks. Two, because finally Hayden Christenson will get what’s coming to him after the agonizingly stilted acting in Episode 2 when he gets the crap kicked out of him by Ewan McGregor in the ultimate duel which is what every Star Wars fan has been waiting for since the prequels began. Three, James Earl Jones is coming back as the voice of Darth Vader. Giggity giggity giggity.

Batman Begins – June 17^th

Ok, with the possible exception of the first Burton one, Batman has gotten kicked in the nuts repeatedly with these movies. Were those responsible punished? Were they ostracized from society, driven out to the middle of nowhere and left for dead? No. They were given a freaking academy award for writing Beautiful Mind! Damn you Akiva Goldsmith! So what does this one have that might make up for it? Joel Schumaker has been kicked out and told to go direct more Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals and they’re bringing on Christopher Nolan. If anyone can present a serious mood it’s the guy who did Memento and the American remake of Insomnia. Writer: David Goyer, writer of Dark City and Blade. Ok, so we’ve got the dark atmosphere in here. Casting: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Ken Watanabe (Last Samarai and the upcoming Memoirs of a Geisha), Katie Holmes, and Cilian Murphy (28 Days Later… this guy knows how to play unhinged) as the Scarecrow. Based at least partially on Frank Miller’s (see also Sin City) Batman: Year One. I think this could be, dare I say it, a great Batman movie.

Serenity – September 30^th

Ok, you’ve read my raves of Firefly, well this is something that any Joss Whedon fan has been waiting for, a full out big budget Whedon film. He’s never directed any of his own movies before so this’ll be great as he has full control. Based on everything I’ve read this is gonna have the same wit, adventure, charm and out and out hilarity as the show itself but without the one hour long time limit of TV. The cancellation of the show left a million questions unanswered which Whedon will be looking to remedy and at the same time I guarantee it’ll work for anyone who hasn’t seen the show. This could turn out to be the best space adventure flick of the year (and looking at my list that’s some pretty stiff competition). Personally, I can’t wait.

There are a few other films that I am looking forward to quite a bit: Peter Jackson's King Kong and the next Harry Potter movie, but as they won't be out til the end of the year, I can't get that excited about them yet.

Shameless plugs:

My own Episode III: DONE!!! Now comes the obligatory down time but I promise it won’t be as long as the last one I took.

Booter updated his blog!

Until next time:

"Save me Shiva."
"Why don't you just call out for Hawkman?"
"Why don't you shut up?"