I've always loved fortune cookies. You reach into the bowl and randomly select something that applies to you and only you.

Mustard: So absent lately.

Iron Man:
Take everything you loved about Spider-Man. The action, the comedy, the fun. And then take away what you didn't like: A whole lot of saccharine, nail grating dialogue that even the greatest acting talent in the world couldn't pull off let alone Kirstin Dunst. That's Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. is everything you could have hoped for as Tony Stark and more. Sure Toby Maguire has the funny/nerdy side of Peter Parker down. Robert Downey Jr. has the funny/cool/bit of a jerk side of Tony Stark. He's George Clooney in a Metal suit. Hell, even the slightly generic Iron Monger villain works out terrific thanks to Jeff Bridges portrayal (hey Willam Defoe, it is possible to be tiny bit over the top without needing the Heimlich from chewing so much scenery). I won't say this definitely the best Marvel movie ever but it's right up there with Spidey 2 and X2.

Mario Kart Wii:
Ok, I really came in not expecting much from this game. Yeah, it's Mario Kart and the only game I may have played more than the original Mario Kart was Mario Kart 64. But I just wasn't as blown away by Double Dash (despite being one of the few who did enjoy the 2 rider gimmick) and hadn't heard a whole lot of great things about this one. I still am not a huge fan of choosing your kart but other than that, this game kicks ass. The bikes are a neat addition. The online mode is the best time I've had playing online with the Wii, and the throwback tracks bring back some great memories (Mario Raceway from N64... the amount of time spent trying to break the 2 minute mark on that sucker). And it's the first game since Wii Sports to have really good Mii integration. I'm racing as me! Woo! It's Mario Kart at it's best so what are you waiting for?

Netflix Roku:
Look, this is a cool box for those of you who don't have laptops or media pc, but it's not the panacea of digital media people are making it out to be and it's not really all that much of a competitor to the appleTV. Granted, the appleTV is a niche market but it's a media server. You can store files on it and play them. The Roku basically just take the place of hooking my laptop up via an S-video cable to my TV. Great it you don't have a laptop, but talk to me when it's got a hard drive and can play stored files. And for all those reports about how few Netflix Top 100 movies are available for watch instantly, these are the current top 10:

• Crash
• The Departed
• The Pursuit of Happyness
• Little Miss Sunshine
• Walk the Line
• Mr. and Mrs. Smith
• The Devil Wears Prada
  
• Blood Diamond
• Hotel Rwanda
• The Notebook

It's not like they're the hottest movies out right now.

News and Notes:

They've announced Runaways. Now get Brian K. Vaughn to script it and Joss Whedon to direct and this could be an amazing movie. Get Don Payne to script and Brian Robbins to direct and we can weep for the future.

So the Mets were just handed a 4 game sweep by the Braves. F&*@!!!

Indiana Jones tonight. Show us you can still handle Lucas' writing, Spielberg. Please!

Until next time:

"Is she okay? Is my mom alright?"

"Calm down, Tolchuck. If something were seriously wrong, I would've found you myself, which reminds me, you know which class Kenny Henderson's in?"

"What? No!"

"Mmm...I would not want to be him right now."

Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky!

So Twilight Princess has finally been completed. Great (though a tad easy) final battle though I must say, I was a little disappointed with the ending. You’d think a little more would happen. Maybe I’m just spoiled by the Ocarina of Time ending. Overall I feel like the game was a gorgeous game and helluva lot of fun to play but not nearly as hard as OoT. But then maybe I’ve just gotten a lot better at games. I played Link to the Past a few months back and just flew through that game (though it helps that I played it so much I still knew the answers to a lot of the harder puzzles). Anyways, if you still haven’t picked up Zelda yet and you own a Wii, get out there and buy it. It may not upset Ocarina of Time as the best Zelda ever but it’s a phenomenal game nonetheless.

And can someone please tell me why the hell you must be a member of ESPN Insider in order to read any of the articles on their website these days? For God’s sake, you need to be an insider to read a transcript of a Bill Simmons’ chat? This is why I head on over to FoxSports of CBSsportsline for coverage of anything major. At least on those sites I’m not paying for witty commentary on the Sopranos season finale. [Update: they did take the Insider access needed off the Bill Simmons’ chat, but it’s still a ridiculous number of articles closed off for non-Insiders].

Tech advice for you (sorta): If you have an auxiliary jack in your car for an MP3 player, please, for the love of God, don’t drop $18 on a Monster iPod car cable that just plugs into your MP3 player’s headphone jack. Just buy a simple 3.5 mm to 3.5 mm (or 1/8 inch if you don’t like that pesky metric system) cable for a couple bucks at any radio shack, target or electronic store. You will save yourself $15 bucks and get the exact same result. Otherwise you are getting ripped off.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Look, I know you have to make kid friendly movies and whatnot but good gravy. This was like a bad Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Honestly, Dr. Doom might as well be the Shredder. At one point I kid you not the line “Let’s go for a spin.” is taunted as he creates a huge whirlwind. Sure it had a couple of relatively funny lines and despite all my complaints, it was miles better than the first (which still ranks somewhere around Blade Trinity as the worst comic movie ever made… though I’ve yet to see Ghost Rider or Elektra). It’s so sad that the best FF movie is still The Incredibles. Maybe I’m just pissed off that I came for Galactus and all I got was a stupid cloud. It wasn’t even purple.

News and Notes:

If you haven’t read the first arc of Joss Whedon’s Buffy Season 8, you’re missing out. I’m just so sad that at this rate, the man is never coming back to TV or movies.

How great was Entourage’s Season 4 premiere? The last scene with Drama yelling out his one line in the movie had me rolling.

Well at least the Mets can beat the Twins. Seriously, the hell is going on guys? I know we’re completely reliant on our bats, but the past 2 weeks have been ridiculous.

Until next time:

“I'm not moving in with her, Drama, I'm just staying there 'til we leave to shoot the movie.”

“Yeah, and that girl from Silence of The Lambs is just "staying'" in that well.”

For the last couple of months I have been adrift in a sea of puppy dogs, lollypops and let's face it, mediocre metaphors.

Mustard: If not now, when?

So Terence Stamp and the Rock have been cast in the upcoming Get Smart movie? That deserves a “frakkin’ awesome” label. First off, I love Get Smart. My childhood contained an unknown number of nights watching Don Adams’ brilliance on Nick-at-Nite. So when they cast Steve Carell as the lead, it was like the curtain dropped in front of the chorus singing Hallelujah. They couldn’t have picked a better actor to fill Adams’ shoes. Anne Hathaway as Agent 99 is a great fit but come on, Terence Stamp as the villain? Boom baby!

So the iPhone huh? Well it looks great but no way in hell am I switching carriers and paying that much money in order to get it. Yeah, I know, you get your iPod and phone all in one but honestly, I don’t really care that much. However the good news is that this means they’re almost certain to release a new widescreen iPod only device in the next 6 months or so. Now that is going to be pretty sweet.

This will be the last time I mention this (until perhaps the Oscars in which case I’ll be extremely pissed) but what the hell people? Meryl Streep does NOT deserve an award for the freakin’ Devil Wears Prada. The movie was shit and she didn’t “shine” or do anything else but a bad Cruella Deville impression. I don’t care that it’s Meryl Streep. Stop giving people awards just because of who they are and give them to people who actually deserve it. Thank you.

Do yourself a favor and go get the The Crane Wife, the new album by the Decemberists. It’s outstanding. And I would note that the Crane Wife #3 which has been playing the past week on this site was just played on last week’s Scrubs. I’m ahead of the curve.

Caught Pan’s Labyrinth this weekend. What a good movie. Most of America won’t see it as it’s a foreign movie and who wants to read subtitles but if you appreciate movies that are done well in almost every aspect, you owe it to yourself to catch this one. It’s definitely up there for most beautifully shot movie this year and outstanding movie score. With this movie Guillermo Del Toro is making a statement that he is a filmmaker to watch. I may have enjoyed Hellboy but I recognize it for the fun popcorn movie it is. This movie is dead serious, unflinching in it’s depiction of the brutal end days of the Spanish Civil War and even it’s more fanciful fairytale escapism parts. Strange bedfellows? Absolutely but it’s originality works and if this movie was in English I guarantee you we’d hear it’s title being announced with the other Oscar Best Picture nominees. As such we’ll absolutely hear it during the Foreign Picture nominees and I can’t think of many arguments as to why it shouldn’t win.

News and notes:

So can I tell you how great I find it that Scrubs has become the most widely syndicated show on TV? I swear, it’s on at least 6 times a day. It’s fantastic.

Speaking of Scrubs, tune in tomorrow night for the Scrubs musical. If “Guy Love” is any indication this could be the greatest musical since Buffy.

Zelda makes me happy.

Darius Walker is leaving and with him goes the last of Notre Dame’s dependable offense. Next season is gonna be fun.

Until next time:

“Hi, cutie! Since you have so many balls, and too many toys can be over-stimulating for an infant, Brantley here was wondering if he could borrow one to play with!”

“Oh, that's funny, because Jack here was just wondering why the crazy lady who just spent the last hour chain smoking and talking on her cell phone while her kid ate sand would come over to two complete strangers and give them parenting advice!”

“Oh, oh! He also thanked me for not naming him "Brantley"!”