Tis the Season to Be Merry. Well That's My Name. No Sh-

Feliz Navidad! Joyeux Noël! Booter ist ein Wanker!

Welcome to the Christmas edition of the Mustard. Or Chrismukkah if you’re one of those O.C. watchers. That’s only the 2nd time I’ve watched the show this year (it’s after November sweeps, all my shows are in repeats) and I will say I was amused by it. The main problem I have with the show is that it’s got a great sense of humor but it just pulls out too many soap opera twists. I think it could be a really good show if it would just add some more originality with its story arcs (i.e.: stop having everyone ending up being related to everyone else). But then I guess that’s the state of today’s TV when even Rory Gilmore is losing her virginity to a married man (geez, is this the 2nd week in a row I’m referencing the Gilmore Girls? I need to go find my manhood around here somewhere).

Also I was corrected last week when I said NBC didn't roll out any new sitcoms as it did in fact roll out Joey. Not that it makes any difference to what I said but still, I do admit my mistakes.

Heading on up north in a few days to spend some quality holiday time with the family. Can’t wait, though I never knew it was possible to hate shopping this much. I swear there have been multiple times these past few weeks where I was fully convinced of my ability to take a human life. But now is that really the Christmas spirit?

A huge huge HUGE congratulations to my lovely fiancée on her new job. She’s leaving the political world behind and leaping head first into the world of publishing. I’m proud of her. Now all I need to do is figure out how to get paid for creating online comic strips and we’ll be all set.

Top 5 Christmas Movies:

1. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation - Yeah, this was a tough call. How many times a year between November 1st and January 31st do I watch this? The number would frighten you. Never has a movie had so many quotable lines (“Can’t see the line, can ya Russ?”), not to mention the absolute best rant in movie history when Chevy Chase goes off about his boss. Add to it the fact that this movie has a special place in my heart for being part of the best Christmas decorating party I’ve ever had and you’ve got a winner.

2. A Christmas Story – “You’ll poke your eye out, kid!” If Christmas Vacation is the most quotable holiday movie, this would be #2. Oh Ralphie, someday you’ll get the hang of that official Red Ryder Carbon Action 200 shot range model air rifle, oooh.

3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas – The animated one, not the Ron Howard one where Jim Carrey looks like the Care Bear from hell. Boris Karloff’s narration is possibly the greatest narration of any movie ever. When that Grinch’s heart grows three sizes too big, you know you’re all cheering. And finally four words: Best… Theme Song… Ever!

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas – It’s the Peanuts gang and Christmas. How can you go wrong? Unless you’re Charlie Brown. Before the gang fixes it up, that Christmas tree looks more pathetic than mine, and that says a lot. Good times, my friends, good times.

5. It’s a Wonderful Life – Whoa whoa whoa! Chevy Chase beats out Jimmy Stewart!? Snoopy beats out Clarence the angel? This movie was the AFI’s 11th best movie of all time for crying out loud and it’s getting beat by one involving a cat getting electrocuted by tree lights? Hey, this is my top 5 list and yep, that’s how it works. I’m not saying Christmas Vacation is a better movie than It’s a Wonderful Life. But I watch Vacation multiple times during these 3 months. I’ve gone years without watching Wonderful Life. That said, this is the quintessential wonderful-restore-your-faith-in-humanity Christmas movie. In a cynical world like ours (which I am fully guilty of propagating), it’s sometimes good to have a straight-laced good-hearted movie to fall back on.

Special Mention: The Nightmare Before Christmas – I don’t know if this is really a Christmas movie or a Halloween movie but either way it’s one of the most messed up, twisted movies ever conceived of by mankind. God bless you Tim Burton! Now don’t screw up Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

That's all for now folks. So if I don’t talk to you beforehand, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone. And to all a good night:

“As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep.”
”Outrageous! How dare he say such blasphemy! I've got to do something.”
”Bob, there's nothing you can do.”
”Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor.”