My Musssssssstard…
Spider-man 3: Ok, here’s the deal. I liked the first one. I loved the second one. This one was just sloppy. So much potential that just ends up going nowhere. Honestly, it’s like Sam Raimi, realizing that this was his last Spider-man, couldn’t make up his mind as to what story to tell and therefore put as much in as he could. The end result is that none of them integrated satisfactorily.
The black suit storyline – fine with it amplifying Peter’s already growing ego but when it eventually jumps to Eddie Brock to become Venom (a name never actually mentioned in the movie fyi) it’s suddenly super powerful. Well why didn’t we see this when Peter was wearing it? We’re only told verbally by Peter’s monologue that it’s powerful. The Sandman arc is done fine in that Spider-man needs someone to fight while in the black suit. But they overstep by giving Sandman a sympathetic villain arc which is just adds another plot and never gets resolved. It just ends. The Harry Osborn arc – I get that Raimi has been building this across all 3 movies but it doesn’t really fit in with any of the other storylines. It’s just there so he can finish it. Oh and the Emo Pete thing is ridiculous. Just because he’s “darker” doesn’t mean his haircut has to look like the creepy brother from the Wedding Crashers.
The ending also feels like a tacked on set piece that could’ve come out of a crappy Saturday morning cartoon written by a 5th grader. Venom and Sandman team up, kidnap Mary Jane and actually taunt Spider-man to “stop us if you can”. No, seriously, this is actually written out on a web. Added to this is a horribly acted newscast just in case you didn’t get it the “gravitas” of the situation. Look, I get that a lot of comic book movies feel the need to put in “wink wink” moments but there are about 25 of them in this movie and they get old quick.
Before I completely turn everyone off seeing this movie (and judging by the opening weekend numbers there are only about 4 of you left), there are some good things. Visually speaking Sam Raimi is still on top of his game. The man just knows how to shoot a pretty looking move with originality and ingenuity in his angles and shots. He’s proven this with the last two movies and it continues here. The next man to step up to the camera for future editions has some big shoes to fill in that department. The actors themselves are good for what little character development the script gives them. JK Simmons should just be given his own movie. However again, there are some returns to the cringe inducing lines that were so prevalent during the first movie. The action pieces are fun and the usual Spider-man fare. The Bruce Campbell cameo is fantastic. I mean easily the funniest cameo he’s had.
In the end you’re gonna see this movie. I personally have no regrets about going to see it. It’s just not the big conclusion to Raimi’s trilogy that I was hoping for (and not just because the final shot is much less fun and heroic than the past 2 movies where Spider-man swings through NY). Now I’ve heard rumors that Raimi was essentially forced to put Venom in this movie (he’s stated multiple times earlier that he didn’t like the character). So maybe his initial movie was going to be tighter and more focused. Sadly we’ll never know. So go see the movie but just be prepared to be ultimately under whelmed and let down.
News and notes:
Damnit, the Rangers are out. Stupid
Elliot and JD again on Scrubs? Really?
Gilmore Girls is headed off into the sunset. Please don’t let the same things happen to Veronica Mars.
Until next time:
“Carla, you're in charge of the guest list. Just make sure that all of my friends are there! Ooh, and Naomi, that bitch from radiology. She's teased me for six years about how she's going to beat me down the aisle. Well she can suck it, her and her fat neck.”
“Invite Fat Neck, got it.”
“If you point out Fat Neck to me I'll keep asking her why she's still single until she cries.”
“Done.”
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