If all the air around you smelled like pickles and there was no where to run, no where to hide, would you find that at all bothersome?

Holy crap! It’s the 100^th post of the Mustard!!!!

It’s been a week now and yet the only thing I’m able to say is this: WAS CARLOS BELTRAN THE ONLY PERSON ALIVE WHO DIDN’T SEE THE 0-2 CURVEBALL FOR A STRIKE COMING!!!! WAINWRIGHT HAD ONLY THROWN THE SAME DAMN PITCH 10 EFFING TIMES THAT INNING!!!! Seriously, I’m still THAT upset about it.

And sweet merciful Zeus, could ND have cut that game any closer? I mean come on!

The only positive thing in sports for me the whole week was the ass-kicking the Giants gave Dallas on Monday.

SCRUBS IS BACK NOVEMBER 30^TH!!!! Now the bad news: it’s opposite Greys Anatomy and CSI. Thanks NBC. I’m sure the ratings this year will be huge. Frak it, I don’t care. I’m just happy to have it back. I was watching the episode where Turk proposes to Carla the other day and it made me miss the show so much it hurts sometimes.

I’ve been hearing a lot of complaints of people thinking the Office has gotten too zany this year but damnit people, just appreciate a good comedy while it lasts. Ed Helms love of the Cardigans last week was hi-lar-ious.

Um, so they average about 100 songs a season the OC but for the next mix they’re going with all covers? And not classic song covers, but covers of Modest Mouse’s Float On, Spoon’s I Turn My Camera On and The Killers’ Smile Like You Mean It? Is it really necessary to cover songs that are only a year old? And I’m sorry but we do NOT need another rendition of Phantom Planet’s California. It’s already been on 2 Mixes and with all the good music on the show that doesn’t make the mix, why push it on again? Um, and wasn’t Imogen Heap’s cover of Hallelujah supposed to be on the mix? Yet it’s not on the current track listing?

Buffalo tied the NHL mark last night by going 10-0 to open the season and still no one cares. Maybe they should bring back that totally awesome halo thing they used to put around the puck complete with the cutting edge neon tail when the put was shot fast enough.

News and Notes:

GREATEST GIFT EVER!!! Erin got me a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird signed by Harper Lee for our anniversary! How unbelievably cool is that?

Also those of you with speakers may have noticed my newest addition to the blog: song of the week. I figured if I was running that far behind with music reviews I could at least add a little something musical in here.

Factcheck.org – Please don’t vote uninformed…or solely informed from BS political ads.

And be sure to watch Lost next week because the rumors are that someone MAJOR is permanently checking off the island.

Seriously, I’m still that depressed about the Mets.

Until next time:

“Snakes are gross. Snakes are scary and slithery and do you know where snakes do not belong?”

“On a plane?”

“They do not belong on a plane.”

“It's not an ideal situation.”

“They do not belong anywhere except in cages, stuck in safes burried deep, deep underground. I hate snakes.”

“So I'm gathering.”

“With their gross no legged bodies and their scaly, scaly skin, and their wiggling and their hissing.”

“Okay, Lore, I respect your very valid feelings about snakes. But I have to say, we were fairly warned.”

“No. No. A movie should not just be its title. Driving Miss Daisy didn't all take place in a car, Dances With Wolves wasn't one long wolf dance. But this was nothing but snakes. snakes, relentless snakes, snakes, on a plane, snakes, snakes, snakes on a plane!”

A Wii Bit of Monday Happiness

Ok, so I just had to post this because everyone hates Mondays but this is just wonderful:

The '70s had the Hustle. The '80s, the moonwalk. We have the faux-lesbian dance.

Mustard: How could anyone ask for more?

So NBC announced it’s intent to overhaul the company’s spending including cuts in expensive dramas and comedies in the 8 to 9 slot. I can’t help but think that this bodes ill for Studio 60 as well since it’s pretty pricey and getting slammed in the ratings.

Venture Brothers just concluded it’s 2^nd season. The finale involved an epic battle between David Bowie and Iggy Pop, a riff on the Neverending Story and was pretty much just genius throughout. They better green light Season 3.

So Jeff’s Top 5 Most Annticpated Movies…For the Rest of the Year:

(in order of release)

Borat – I can’t help it. The trailer has completely won me over that this could be the funniest movie of the year. Sacha Baron Cohen proved he’s the man in Talladega Nights and though I never really got into Da Ali G show, I’m dead set on catching this.

Stranger Than Fiction – At first glance this is a Nora Ephron movie. But then you actually look at the production and you realize it’s by the same guy who did Monster’s Ball and Finding Neverland. Suddenly this movie has gotten a little more interesting.

Casino Royale – I desperately want this to be a good Bond flick. They’re overhauling the look, casting a new lead (and despite everyone’s complaints of a blonde James Bond, I think Daniel Craig has a very Connery look to him). I just worry that’s it’s still the same producers who have been steadily dragging this franchise down.

The Fountain – Darren Aronofsky directing a flick with Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz? I’m there. Despite the long (and I mean long) delays in getting the project off the ground, I have very high hopes for it.

Pan’s Labyrinth – Guillermo Del Toro is back and looking to prove not CG visual effects can be just as effective as George Lucas’ digital wonderlands. This has such a great twisted fairy tale vibe to it I can’t wait.

Other notables:

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny – Jack Black is hit or miss but I loves me some Tenacious D.

Running with Scissors – Brian Cox should just be in every movie (and usually is).

The Good German – The trailer just came out. Looks like Clooney is more and more trying to prove he’s Cary Grant incarnate. Love the poster by the way.

News and Notes:

If you haven’t caught the World of Warcraft South Park episode yet, please do yourself a favor and quickly go here and join the online sensation before we all murder you.

Anyone else wonder why hell Lauren Graham was even on Studio 60 this week as the host? They didn’t even mention her by name. Hopefully she'll have some point in next week's ep.

IE7 officially “launched” today. If you want a subpar Firefox clone, give it a try! Or better yet, just use Firefox.

Until next time:

“So...it's a cocoon...that flies...”

“Obviously!”

“I just realized...that makes no sense.”

“Duh! Monarch! Butterfly, butterfly cocoon, it's a theme thing!”

“Yeah, I get it, but why didn't you just make it look like a butterfly?”

“...Because that's gay?”

And get that security tape! I want a Quicktime of my minty-fresh entrance on my webpage by tomorrow!

I love Mustard cause it’s so delicious! Gotta go Mustard!

So let’s jump into it:

Following up last week’s post on Robert Downey Jr. being cast as Tony Stark in Iron Man, the role of Jim Rhodes has also been cast: Oscar nominee Terence Howard. Frankly I’m a little disappointed. They already had the perfect man for the role of the future War Machine who is already comfortable acting in metal armor right here. But seriously, for a superhero movie they’re going very Batman Begins-caliber in the way of casting. Oh, have I mentioned the movie is being directed by Jon Favreau?

Nathan Filion aka Mal from Firefly/Serenity will be appearing in an episode of Lost this season! Frak yeah! According to TVGuide’s Michael Ausiello, he’ll be appearing in a Kate flashback. This man needs to be in more roles.

So need reasons why Veronica Mars is officially the best show on television right now? Ok, let’s just look at last night’s episode:

1. Dan Castellaneta of Homer Simpson fame (and they had him put in a D’oh!)

2. Ryder Strong of Boy Meets World fame

3. Samm Levine of Freaks and Geeks fame (why the hell did they cancel that show?)

4. The continuing use of the word ‘frak’

5. Keith Mars is a badass (yet a sensitive badass)

6. Wallace and Logan’s bet

WATCH THIS SHOW!!!!

Studio 60 has really hit its stride and I am going to be a sad person if they cancel it.

Heroes: Look, you’ve got a great cast and a great premise, now they need to get things moving. If it’s about superheroes you need to get them doing more. Audiences do not like plodding stories where the superheroes barely do anything. Just ask Ang Lee.

Caught the Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning on my day off this Monday and I think congratulations are in order. This is officially the first movie I have ever walked out of! This was just absolutely awful. This wasn’t a horror flick for scares. This was just “hey how can we think up the most twisted sadistic shit imaginable and put it on screen”? Basically it was a big “F you Eli Roth, look what we can do”! Hell I own the first Eli Roth movie (funny enough starring Ryder Strong) and I could not stomach this. Then again this was from the guy who directed Darkness Falls aka the movie with the Tooth Fairy as the villain.

News and Notes:

So the weaker shows are starting to drop off. Now bring back Scrubs!

I’ll be putting up top 5 anticipated rest of the year movies next week.

Did anyone else ever think they’d live to see the day when Nicolas Cage and Peter Fonda would be starring opposite each other in a comicbook movie?

Until next time:

“Yeah. You'll never believe it - a maid from our hotel in New York found the Flash card with all our vacation photos on it. Look.”

“Hot dog!”

"Hot dog"?

“It's an expression of excitement and enthusiasm. Joe and Frank Hardy and I used to say ‘Hotdog’ all the time while we were waiting for the car hop to bring us our malteds at the drive-in.”

I bent my wookie!

Whoa, two Mustard posts in one week? Why? Cause I wanted to, that’s why.

So this is like a week old but Robert Downey Jr. has been cast as Iron Man. For those not in the know, Iron Man’s biggest character flaw is alcoholism. A little on the nose? Like a pink elephant balloon symbolizing the gay Republicans (it’s a Simpsons reference. No hate mail).

In the latest big movie stolen from a foreign movie, Scorsese’s The Departed opens today. It’s a remake of the Hong Kong flick Infernal Affairs. And it still looks awesome.

While I loved the season premiere of Lost, I think they need to give the fanboys out there a little love with an answer or two. I have no problem being strung along but I’m worried they might start alienating the average viewer who gets frustrated much more easily.

This is the single greatest thing I have ever seen in my entire life:

Ralph Wiggum for President.

Yeah at some point I will finish up the Ep commentary (I'm almost there, I swear) but until then check out Penny Arcade Love this site. One of my favorites:



Until next time:

“Did you make any friends?”

“Lord no!”

“Enemies?”

“Eh.”

“Well, it is a day that ends in a 'y’.”

Do you even know what diffident means? That's OK. That knowledge isn't really required for the retail doughnut distribution industry.

I loves me some my Mustard.

So I was watching Veronica Mars last night with an episode dealing with a serial rapist, a mob murder, and the aftereffects of a suicide and thought to myself, “You know what we really need right now? A bunch of idiot teenage girls in pajamas discussing whether or not Veronica and Logan will last. That would just be awesome.” Someone tell me what the flurking schnit is up with the “aerie girl” roundtable going on during the Gilmore Girls/Veronica Mars Tuesday nights? You’ve got two of the most intelligently written shows on TV right now and we have to sit there and listen to a bunch of frakking airheaded teenyboppers gossip over whether Luke and Lorelei were ever right for each other!? What the hell kind of value does this add the damn shows?! Damn you WB/CW/Whatever the hell you are!

On the other hand, I felt a little bit better about the future of the Gilmore Girls after last night’s episode. I still miss the Palladinos but this did feel very true to their direction of the show. Oh and Veronica Mars? Still that good the 2^nd time around.

So after two weeks of Heroes I’m still not 100% sold on it but I definitely enjoyed the 2^nd episode. Hey there’s Greg Grunberg! It took an hour and 45 minutes but we finally got him on the show.

Now it’s only in beta (isn’t everything these days?) but gotta say, I’m so far digging the Songbird media player. Based off Mozilla source code (ala Firefox which you should all be using by now), it’s not only a normal digital jukebox but also a Web player. If you’re on a webpage that offers a downloadable song (like say carybrothers.com) it’ll detect the audio file and display it in a window along with all other audio files on the site and allow you to easily save them to your library. Plus you can subscribe to something like a music related blog and it’ll automatically download the songs similar to a podcast. Pretty darn cool if you ask me. It also had audio search engines built in. Give it a try.

Mother F#$^#$!!!! Both Pedro and El Duque out for the playoffs!?!?!?! The Mets are in deep effing trouble. Missing out on a major arm during the trade deadline isn’t looking so great now, is it? Oliver Perez after losing 3 games and being sent down to the minors is supposed to come into the playoff rotation and make an impact? To quote Otto: “Disappointed!”

News and Notes:

Lost returns tonight! For six weeks at least.

The hockey season starts up as well. Call me crazy but was there any hype for the season beginning? Hell I live in DC and didn’t see a single Caps ad or promo. I swear I sometimes feel the NHL is just giving up. That season off really helped things didn’t it? And last year totally made up for it. You putzes.

Until next time:

“And you call yourselves college men. Where are the posters of beer and half naked women?”

“Oh, it's behind the case of porn and my shot glass collection.”