I'm not going to flush. Let them see the wrath of the Monarch!

I’ve given a name to my pain, and it is Mustard.

So normally I don’t dive into the media hot topic of the day but this whole MySpace thing has just pushed me over the edge. Parents: Take some frakking responsibility and know what your kids are doing. Ignorance of technology is no excuse for lazy-ass parenting. Don’t blame MySpace because it’s just the newest hottest way of people contacting one another that allows for anonymousness (and yes, that really is the noun form of the word). I would never wish for horrible things to happen to children and am in no way excusing the behavior of people who use social networking tools for nefarious purposes but in the end if your children don’t know any better than to agree to meet a strange person they have only spoken to through electronic means then you need to be responsible for making sure that doesn’t happen. You can buy tons of software that monitors which sites your kids go to or even block such sites if you don’t want them to go there at all. And don’t give me the excuse of “well my kids will just figure out a way around it”. If parents start using the excuse that they can’t parent properly because their kids are smarter than them…

I’m sick and tired of parents saying that something is dangerous because they don’t want to take the time to monitor their childrens’ actions. Let’s ban violent videogames? DON’T LET YOUR KIDS PLAY THEM!!! You don’t need to waste time that could be spent helping to solve legitimate problems to pass laws about not selling violent videogames to young children if you simply don’t let the kids play them. Hey here’s an idea: don’t let your kids have a TV and Xbox in their room. That way those crazy kids can’t hide what they’re playing from you. But what if the kids find ways to get around that? If parents start using the excuse that they can’t parent properly because their kids are smarter than them…

The funny part about these current problems is that a good majority of them are going to go away in the next 10 years or so. Why? Because the current generation of people who are starting to have kids are the people who grew up riding the current wave of video games and internet creation. They know what’s out there. They grew up with this technology and see it less as a big scary incomprehensible monster and more as a tool that can be monitored and controlled. Yes, kids are always going to find ways to get into trouble. That’s what they do. But the social networking and videogame “problems” will die down to make way for the next new thing parents can point their finger at and scream “danger”. Remember when rock ‘n roll was going to ruin the world?

So that’s my rant on society for the day.

Vegas baby, Vegas! So a quick long weekend and a little lighter in the pocket, it was a damn fine way to spend 4 days. Well, 4 1/2 if you count the almost 7 hour we spent at the airport on Sunday night waiting for our really red eye flight home. But it was a whole lot of fun. Gotta say though, on our last day, Erin and I hit up this little divey casino called O'Sheas right next the Margaritaville entrace at the Flamingo. It was fantastic. Dollar domestic drafts, friendly dealers who were spending lots of time helping out newbies at the craps table and cocktail waitresses that actually came around often to give you drinks. Hours at the Bellagio and I didn't see one damn waitress but, 5 minutes at this place and I had a Corona in my hand. If you're a low key, pub kinda person, try this place out over the overblown, snootier resort casinos. You'll have 10 time more fun.

Caught Nacho Libre last weekend (4 weeks in a row! Though it won’t be 5 as I didn’t get out this weekend). Honestly, watch the movie trailer. If you don’t find it funny, then don’t see this movie cause you’re not getting anything different from the rest of the move. I enjoyed it as the goofy it was. It’s not going to top Thank You For Smoking as the funniest movie of the year but it has some laughs. Jack Black has a few great moments and plays the role of a fat-monk-turned-luchador straight which I enjoyed immensely. But like I said, don’t look for anything different from the trailers with this.

News and Notes:

I saw Kevin “E” Connelly and Nicky Hilton in Vegas this weekend! They walked right by my in the Bellagio casino. It’s funny how most people were screaming for Nicky but me and Erin were just like holy crap, it’s E from Entourage!

Also saw Dr. J and he is not looking so good these days.

Superman comes out on Friday. Just in time for my birthday!

Also, I trust Entourage at this point but the whole troublesome visiting friend character is starting to give me uneasy twinges of an “Oliver” scenario. Let’s hope this is quickly resolved.

Venture Bros. is back and that first episode gave a whole lot of hope for this season being even better than the first. The ex-henchman group counseling session was just hilarious not to mention how the whole boys being dead thing was handled.

Until next time:

“The tumor was benign. It's just that, well…we cannot find it.”
“What do you mean you 'can't find it'?”
“Well we took it out and, I don't know. When I finished sewing you up, I turned around and it was... just gone.”
“Gone? Well. I want a second opinion. Oh wait, I'm a doctor! I can give myself one! You suck, and I'm leaving.”

You boys look angry. If there was plastic on the floor I'd think I was about to be whacked

Mustard: Let’s hug it out bitch!

God I love Entourage. Could it be at a better time than Sunday nights during the summer? Perfect way to close down the weekend. I’m loving the current season so far. Granted it’s only been one episode but the writers have lost none of the quality from last season. James Woods guest role was fan-friggin-tastic. Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold is just brilliant and if it came down to it I don’t now who the hell I’d pick for an Emmy between him and John C McGinley’s Dr. Cox. They’re just too damn good. Lloyd!

Also back and in brilliant form: Deadwood. This show takes a while to grow into but once you get used to the fact that this is no low-brow western show but something that approaching a dialogue of Shakespearean complexity combined with more profanity than should be perfectly legal in a TV show, it’s just an amazing show. Ian McShane’s Al Swearengen is more badass than Jack Bauer and he does it all without a super all-purpose PDA!

Caught Cars this weekend (and for those of you playing the home game, that’s a movie 3 weeks in a row). While it’s not my favorite Pixar movie, it beats the living hell out of 99% of kids movies out there today. I never thought I’d ever say this but Larry the Cable guy actually made an endearing and entertaining character. Man I feel dirty. Paul Newman and Owen Wilson give good performances as it’s generally expected they would. Michael Keaton plays a good cocky villain/rival role. John Ratzenberger has some great lines (stay through the credits). And awesome cameo by Jeremy Piven as Owen Wilson’s agent (see above). Look, it’s Pixar. These guys know how to make a damn good movie. I’m really excited for their upcoming Ratatouille next summer.

Music you should be listening to:

Matt Nathanson – At the Point (live)
I have to say this is one of the few albums that actually grab the feeling of a live concert. Half the fun of a Matt Nathanson concert is his back and forth with the audience. He does it better than anyone and he’s got a great sense of humor. This is all captured excellently on this disc with such great moments of him introducing a song written about a girl who was cheating on him as “a song about sharing”. Or when he tells the story about how he broke up with a girl, wrote a whole album about it and then how awkward it was as they ended up getting back together. He plays a good selection with most of it being his recent stuff though he does dip back into some old EPs. It’s also all acoustic so he gets to show off his 12-string guitar playing a little better than on some of his more produced albums.

The Wrens – The Meadowlands
This is a fun though more obscure album. The House That Guilt Built starts things off extremely slow at lo-fi Elliot Smith standards (complete with crickets playing in the background) before building into Happy with strained vocals that would do Billy Corgan proud. Things finally start up on This Boy is Exhausted which brings up memories of the latest New Pornographers album. Faster Gun has a fun upbeat tempo while Everybody Chooses Sides is the late peak of the album with it’s cranked up distortion and pounding drums. Give the Wrens a try.

News and Notes:

Mets are on a friggin’ knock-on-wood roll right now, winning 7 in a row all on the road. Get those votes in for David Wright as starting 3B on the NL All Star Team.

Though 99.9% of American doesn’t seem to care, it’s been a pretty decent NHL finals with Carolina leading 3-2 after a nasty overtime game last night where Edmonton had a fantastic goal for the win.

Yeah, I know I should probably care more about the World Cup right now but as my uncle once said: Soccer is a wuss sport.

Please note it was my uncle who said it, not me. If you’ve got issues with that statement, please direct them to him.

Until next time:

“But Sloane is never wrong. You know she saw Johnny Depp in Platoon when she was eight years old and she said, ‘Dad, that's the guy to watch.’”
“You showed her Platoon when she was eight years old?”
“Oliver did. He wanted feedback.”

I'd make you swear on a bible, but I know how contact with Holy stuff makes your skin sizzle.

Here’s a little payback Mustard-style!

Another week, another blog, another day of weather.com predicting isolated thunderstorms. I wonder if the people there just take the summer off and set the website to display the isolated thunderstorm icon every day.

Anyways, so the NHL finals are Edmonton vs. Carolina. Not exactly the most fantastic matchup to get the ratings pouring in but for hockey fans, seeing Edmonton back in the finals is a fun sense of nostalgia. Unless of course you hate Canadians.

So I haven’t done music in forever so without further ado…

Music You Should Be Listening To:

Mike Doughty – Haughty Melodic
This guy seems to be the go-to person for TV shows these days as he’s had his songs in both Grey’s Anatomy and Veronica Mars. Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well gets things off with a bang with a crazy wall of sound pouring over you. Doughty has an interesting lyrical delivery, something just a little off which reminds me, of all bands, Carbon Leaf. This is especially noticeable on the songs Unsingable Name and the excellent I Hear the Bells. Definitely a good car ride album.

Gomez – How We Operate
A little more low key, the album starts out nice easy with the nice violin infused Notice before moving only a step faster with See the World which you could almost see John Mayer covering on his next tour. But things really start moving with Girlshapedlovedrug which I’m still wondering how it wasn’t on the last Rhett Miller album. It’s a pretty strong album and I highly recommend it.

Sun Kil Moon – Tiny Cities
So you want the weirdest idea ever? Take Mark Kozelek, the lead man (and eventually only man) of the Red House Painters and have him play and entire acoustic album consisting of nothing but Modest Mouse covers. That’s right, crazy, blood pumping, ass kicking Modest Mouse done by a guy who gives Iron & Wine a run for most laid back artist ever. But it’s a fantastic album. All these songs are completely toned down to Red House Painter levels, meaning just soft, acoustic, singer-songwriter with a minimum of backup. It works because it gives throws the music in a different direction. Modest Mouse lyrics direct pain through anger. Kozelek drops the anger act and rather acts on the sadness behind the pain creating a whole new sound. No where is this more apparent than on his cover of the Ocean Breathes Salty. The title track is also a remarkable addition to the album that should not work but yet succeeds amazingly well.

Pavement – Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
Yeah, I don’t know why but lately I’ve been getting into this album. It’s just a lot of fun. Upbeat tempos and and warbling crooning lead singer? Yeah, I’ll admit, I really am filling in the hole that exists from my desire for a new Thrills album. True their sound is exactly like the Thrills but listen to Range Life and tell me you couldn’t hear this as a new cover. Anyways, love the sound on Elevate Me Later and the piano backing on Gold Sounds.

Caught The Breakup last weekend. Here’s the deal, this isn't Wedding Crashers so don’t think you’re getting that Vince Vaughn. This has kind of an indie feel to it in that it’s not a straight up romantic comedy and it’s not a frat-pack comedy. It’s about two people just emotionally beating the hell out of each other cause neither could stand to be the “loser” in their breakup. Think War of the Roses. Don’t get me wrong, it’s got some pretty friggin hilarious moments. The supporting cast is ridiculously strong with Jason Bateman having a great scene and Jon Favreau hasn’t been this funny in I don’t know how long. I liked this movie a lot and it’s a good but not great movie. One thing is that the titular “break up” happens way too quick. The only chance we have to be emotionally invested in this couple’s relationship is in the credits as we see a photo montage of them being together. I would’ve like to know why this breakup is so painful. The major major I-effing-hate-this-crap problem I had was with the ending. Some studio executive should be shot over this tacked on last scene which made me want to hurl something at the screen. The ending song of “I Can See Clearly Now” make no frakking sense and does not at all fit with the tone of the movie. Holy crap, you can’t treat your audience like they’re intelligent throughout the entire movie and then decide that we’re all effing morons for the very last scene. And it’s a shame because for a good little movie, this is the thing I most remember about it. And that sucks. See the movie. Plug your ears and stop watching for the last scene.

New and Notes:

Episode II commentary is now up and running. That didn’t take too long now did it? I’ll be quicker with the next. I’m finding that my intial HTML coding the first time around was abysmal so I’m having to do a lot of fixing of that as I add in the commentary.

Random I know but can someone tell me why the hell Doritos has a new commercial starring the crappy 1998 American version of Godzilla? I mean I don’t get it. It doesn’t seem to be ironic. There’s no new Godzilla movie coming out. It’s like the Doritos marketing group had no money to spend on anything current and so they dropped back to a horrendous movie from the late 90’s. WTF?

This is awesome and hilarious all at the same time: http://eepybird.com/dcm1.html

Until next time:

“Danni, we need to move on, okay? No more thinking about our exes; no more waiting for the phone to ring; no more stealing her purse just so you can return it later in the hopes that she'll be so grateful, she'll use the money recovered to buy you a drink and maybe have sex with you after.”

“Did that work?”

“I stole the wrong purse... and yes!”