Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot

Hididily-ho Mustarinos.

Quick lil’ update today as things have been ridiculous lately and I have time for nothing these days.

To quote the illustrious Doc Brown: Great Scott! The Mets have gone from 0-5 to 7-7. Where the hell did this come from? Not that I’m complaining. And to show how tough their division is, they’re the only division in Major League Baseball right now that does not have a single team with a losing record. And how bout them Nationals? Granted we’re less than a month into the season but they’ve had one hell of an April. Was Montreal really that bad?

Movie Review:

Sin City – Well about time seeing as how it’s been out three weeks and I listed it as one of my top 5 most anticipated movies. So how’d I like it? This movie will be playing next fall in every male college dorm DVD player all the time. It’s a movie you’ll put on at 3 in the morning cause what the hell, nothing like a little blood and carnage at that time of night. I enjoyed the hell out of this movie but it’s not for everyone. And for all those comparisons to Kill Bill violence, trust me, this goes a full three steps beyond that benchmark. This is a savage comic book gone wild. Yeah, sure Kill Bill had a scene where Uma Thurman slices through an army of sword wielding Yakuza. But it was played very over the top. This movie has that over the top violence sure, but not all the time. A lot of the time it’s visceral, gritty and as realistic as death by swastika throwing star gets. The style of this movie is amazing. These scenes are lifted shot for shot out of the graphic novels themselves and it looks fantastic. The performances are note perfect. Mickey Rourke…yeah, it’s actually him under all that makeup and man he is freaky as hell and yet almost sympathetic. Elijah Wood…good bye Frodo, hello silent psychotic killer. Clive Owen… essence of cool, Bruce Willis… awesome as the frail cop trying to do one last thing right, Benecio Del Toro… fantastically unhinged, Rosario Dawson… keep her the hell away from me, Alexis Bedel… Rory’s nowhere to be seen, Nick Stahl…evil Yellow Bastard … there’s too many great performances to comment on every single one. Powers Booth is only in the movie for about two minutes but in that minute he totally steals the show. Imagine if his Deadwood character suddenly became a Senator. So here’s what I say: this movie is a comic adaptation like you wouldn’t believe but be prepared for how violent it’s gonna be. You keep that in mind, it’s one helluva ride.

News and notes:

Scrubs – continuing to make me happy

Yeah, I know I blew my usual Monday deadline with the strip. It’s been ridiculously busy and I wanted to see Sin City. I’ll put more up soon, promise.

It’s a slow week for notes.

Until next time kiddos:

“All right, you three can go in.”

“Word.”

“You're out.”

“Oh, look, sir, please, just—“

“Baby, I got this. Don't worry about this. Listen here, man, homey here, you know, he's a little outta his mizzle, so I'm just saying, for just a little bizzle, if you let him up in this pizzle, he'll be all chizzle!”

‘You out too.”

I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.

No man, just the Mustard, the Mustard!

Been a long week folks but all kinds of things on the horizon. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. The weather is officially hitting springtime levels which is nice but it will lead inexorably into summer weather which is where I start to show that I grew up in the north and have no tolerance to heat and humidity.

I just have to say one thing: Enough with the bleepin’ Red Sox already. You won. I’m really happy for you. Seriously I am. But I’ve had enough of this overly drawn out victory celebration. Congrats, you won the World Series. You should have! With that team? Hell, the Marlins had more reason to celebrate when they won in ’04. They were a team no one gave a chance and the blew pasted the same hated Yankees you did last year except the Marlin’s salary was a helluva lot less then what the Sox did it with. Yes, you won for the first time in 86 years. Do you realize that the Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908. 1908!!! If they don’t win in the next 3 years it’ll be a century since their last title. They haven’t even been in a World Series since 1945! 60 years since even playing for the title! The last played in the World Series the same year WWII ended! Now that is a long history of failure.

To be fair I don’t entirely blame Red Sox fans for keeping this endless trend going. Major League Baseball is milking it for all it’s worth. Have you seen the Red Sox/Yankee schedules this year? Let’s see when they play each other: First game of the season. Opening day in both Yankee stadium and Fenway. Memorial Day weekend. First game after the all-star break. And oh look twice in September including the last series of the season. Good lord, I get it. They’re rivals! They’re your two highest profile teams. But right now they both have only one win more than the Mets and if you’ve been paying attention to the Mets season so far that ain’t a good thing. So do everyone a favor and let the whole die down just a little. It’s gonna be a good year for baseball. Hopefully my Mets will learn how not to blow a save. And you know what? We can pick up this over hyped rivalry at the end of the year if and only if both are in contention for the playoffs.

Ok, that’s my baseball rant. Thanks for your time.

Movie Review:

Fever Pitch – yeah, so continuing with the Red Sox…. I’ll be honest, I laughed at the movie. It’s a cute, inoffensive romantic comedy. Jimmy Fallon didn’t piss me off so that in and of itself was surprising. I still stand by my opinion that if you eliminated a few of the Red Sox insider jokes, this movie could’ve been about any sports fan (which technically is true as this movie is actually an American remake of a British movie). The thing that makes it work is that deep down it’s about the fundamental differences between men and women. Yes, using the sports metaphor to represent men is a bit cliché but at the same time, it works. Special note: when Jimmy Fallon misses the huge come from behind victory because he was out at Drew Barrymore’s friend’s party and goes off on her (the point where all the women are supposed to be like, he’s such a dick, it’s only a game!), Erin leans over to me and whispers: “Yeah, I’d be pissed if I missed that game too!” This is why I love her folks.

News and Notes:

After getting Crowley hooked on it, I’m now hooked on the first Knights of the Old Republic game for PC. It’s addicting damnit!

Episode 4 of the strip is coming along. Still continuing the standard Monday uploads with random chapters put up on other days as I get to them.

Veronica Mars renewed for next year. No one watches it but me I know, but it’s a good show people!

Please please please let them renew Arrested Development! Awesome Zach Braff cameo last week.

Somewhat surprised to see Malcolm in the Middle get renewed for next year. I mean the show has actually been excellent this year. Far better than the past couple years. I just didn’t think it was enough of a ratings pull. Who knew?

Why in the hell is the new commercial for Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy portraying the movie as a sci-fi action/adventure? It’s a friggin’ comedy! Is the marketing department for Disney that stu- oh wait, it’s Disney. Yes.

Alright all, until next time:

“Yes, baby, Molly is attractive. But she doesn't hold a candle to my Puerto Rican princess!”

“For the last time, Turk: I'm Dominican!”

We can watch 'Kangaroo Jack' and chug a Foster's every time they say "g'day"!

Welcome welcome one and all to that blog they call ‘The Mustard’.

My Illini were defeated in what turned out to be one fine NCAA championship. Seeing as how I didn’t really have a chance at winning the pool, it’s not all that bad. I still take pride in picking the W. Virginia upset over Wake and the Michigan State final four appearance.

Baseball season has begun! Here’s me going into the bottom of the 9^th for the Mets opener in Cincinnati: alright, Kaz Matsui hitting a homer in his first at bat for the second year in a row...awesome. Carlos Beltran earning his contract going 3 for 5 with a double and a homerun and bringing in 3 RBI’s. Fantastic. Even Pedro got it together after a shaky first inning where he gave up a 3 run homer and proceeded to notch up 12 K’s and didn’t let in another run. Dae-Sung Koo comes in for some nice short relief by striking out 2 in the 8^th and not giving up anything. Things are looking good. Don’t know who this Looper guy is but all he has to do is hold a 2 run lead in the 9^th. And the Reds haven’t done anything since the first inning. Ok, first batter… base hit. Second batter….and damnit, it’s a homerun. Third batter…and there’s another homerun. Game over. Mets lose. MOTHER F@#$%!!!!!

They break my heart folks.

Then again you Red Sox fans know my pain. Mr. Jeter did the same thing to you yesterday. But you can take solace in the fact that the Sox pulled out the 9^th inning comeback today thanks to a big error by A-Rod. Here’s hoping the Met can pull it together tonight.

Albums currently on repeat:

Iron & Wine – Our Endless Numbered Days
Great low key album for just relaxing. This is the same artist who did the Such Great Heights cover on the Garden State soundtrack. If you enjoyed that cover, you’ll enjoy this album. High points worth checking out include Naked As We Came, Sunset Soon Forgotten and Sodom, South Georgia. Highly Recommended.

Radiohead – OK Computer
Yeah, not exactly new but come on, it’s their best album giving us both Karma Police and one of the greatest guitar riffs ever with Paranoid Android. Radiohead isn’t for everyone but for those who do enjoy their music, it doesn’t get much better than this.

Hey hey hey, it’s Episode IV! That’s right folks, I told you I’d get it out and I did. You wanted new characters? Done. You wanted better effects? Done. You wanted crazy, self-referential in-jokes and obscure pop-culture references? Well too bad, you’re getting them anyways. Wooooooo!

Alright, comprades that’s all for this week. Until next time:

“Mmmm, Mulattos!”

“They’re Milanos you idiot.”

“I always thought that was a little bigoted for a cookie.”

By the by, this moment is so great that I would cheat on that other moment with it, marry it, and raise a family of tiny little moments.

Greetings all. The Mustard returns once again to delight and inform you. Or at least help you waste a few extra minutes.

I was in Florida for the weekend. I miss Florida. Florida was warm. There was a beach there. I got sunburned while laying out, drinking a cold one and listening to a little Jack Johnson (excellent beach/laying out music). It is cold, overcast and rainy here. Damn.

So we’re down to the Final Four. Huzzah for Michigan St. I nailed that one. And I came so damn close with the W. Virginia game. How do you blow that lead? Though I give to Louisville, they’re a great team. Now I need them to not be great and lose to Illinois. The worst part is I have UNC in my other bracket. You know, the one that was blown as soon as Syracuse lost. So that helps me not at all. But if UNC loses this one, and Illinois wins, I’m in pretty good shape. How great was that Illinois game by the way?

Current albums getting playing time (classic edition):

Van Morrison – Moondance.

Van Morrison is one of the best lyricists ever and his Moondance album proves it. This is Van Morrison at his best (no, Brown Eyed Girl is NOT on this album. The man had more than one song, people.) The whole album is fantastic. And It Stoned Me might be his best song ever, followed up by Moondance which might be his second best and then with Crazy Love. Great album.

Grateful Dead – Working Man’s Dead

Not a jam session to be found on this album, just some good folk and blues inspired music book ended by Uncle John’s Band and Casey Jones which is one helluva sandwich. No drugs necessary to enjoy.

Random news and notes:

Lost is finally back from repeats this Wednesday as we have a Locke centered episode. Sweeeeet.

Bad news: Arrested Development doesn’t look like it’s gonna make it to Season 3 which is terrible news to anyone who enjoys well written TV. I do not understand this at all. Fox has so much crap on that doesn’t get good ratings or reviews, why not cut those out and try and boost some marketing towards the show that won you a best comedy emmy for only the 2^nd time ever and the first since 1999? Damn you Fox!

On the positive news end, Cartoon Network has green lighted a new season of the Venture Bros for its Adult Swim lineup next year. The show is weird as hell but absolutely hilarious.

Speaking of Cartoon Network, the entire season 3 of its Clone Wars mini-series is now up on the main site. With the new 12 minute format, it’s even better than the first batch and leads directly into the opening crawl of the new movie in May.

The spring movie season is starting up folks. Sin City opens this Friday and I can’t wait.

Episode IV of the strip will be going up next Monday. I do have the beginning written and was contemplating putting up a chapter tonight but it’s gonna involve a lot of new artwork that’s gonna take me some time to do. So rather than rush it out I’m gonna give it a week and I promise you’ll have a couple chapters up by next Monday. See? Isn’t this better than the month I took off after last time?

Crowley’s updated his blog again. Go Crowley!

Until next time peoples:

"There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense. "

"No, actually, that would be one of the five."

Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

Hellooooooooooooo Mustard.

Another rather quick update this week as March isn’t the most exciting month of the year. The movies suck. February sweeps are over so shows are just in repeats. The only real excitement comes from the NCAA basketball tournament which leads me to…

Ha! I’m just about the only man on the planet who picked the WV upset over Wake Forest. Why did I pick it? Cause Wake has let me down every year I root for them so this year I just said screw it, I’m giving them one win and they’re gonna blow it. And I was right. The other big upset I picked? Bucknell over Kansas. Come on, who da man? Actually I can’t say much cause I had Syracuse doing a whole helluva lot better not to mention UConn at least making the final four. I guess I shouldn’t have had that much faith in the Big East.

So current recommendations:

DVD:
The Incredibles – ok, so despite the ridicule I’ve taken over my previous long-winded review of the movie when it was in theaters, I stand by the fact that this movie ruled. But if you want another reason: this DVD rules. This has some fantastic extras. One, the deleted scenes (while in animated storyboards) are really interesting as they interview writer Brad Bird about them and unlike most DVD’s when the director is just like, yeah, we cut this scene cause it was totally pointless and it made the movie too long, these deleted scenes are actually major points to the story, most of which would’ve totally changed the way the movie went. So it’s interesting to hear what he has to say about cutting them. Two, the extra short Jack-Jack Attack isn’t just an extra short created for the DVD but actually fits perfectly in where it could’ve been a deleted scene. It chronicles the events that took place in the Parr household with the babysitter and Jack Jack while the family was away. It’s the Zeppo episode of the movie (to use a Buffy reference). And it’s hilarious to see the powers Jack Jack comes up with. Think just about every super power you can imagine. And finally there’s a short call Mr. Incredible and Pals, a spoof on the 1950s superhero cartoons back when the weird mouth thing they do on the Conan O’Brian show was what they actually did in kids cartoons. It’s a hilarious sendup of those serials including multiple references to the evils of Communism and a cute bunny sidekick named Mr. Skipperdoo. But what makes it better is that you can watch it with a commentary track done by Mr. Incredible and Frozone. And hearing Samual L. Jackson go off in a way I haven’t heard since Jules got pissed at Vincent in Pulp Fiction is friggin hilarious.

Notes:

Good news for Lost fans as ABC ordered an extended season which means the season finale will be a two parter with the second part actually being 2 episodes shown back to back with no commercials. So that means the finale will technically be 3 episodes shown in 2 nights.

For those of you excited about Star Wars Episode 3 in coming in May, Cartoon Network has started up another season of its fantastic clone wars series. The first season made up of 2 and 3 minute shorts might have actually been better than both episodes one and two. This season, the episodes are 15 mins long and based on the first one which aired tonight, it’s looking to be just as good and will lead directly to the opening scene of Revenge of the Sith. It airs a new episode every day this week or checkout the Cartoon Network website to see them online.

I’m currently busy writing the next episode of the strip so look for episode IV coming soon, perhaps as early as next Monday but definitely by the Monday after that.

Until next time:

“There's a man here who says he can help you.”
”Is it Batman?”
”He's a scientist.”
”Batman's a scientist.”
”It's not Batman!”

It's been St. Patrick's Day for hours and I'm still not drunk yet!

Dum ditty dum ditty dum the shiny Mustard!

Happy St. Patrick’s day to you all. A day when everyone is a little bit Irish except of course for the gays and the Italians (and no hate mail over the joke, it’s a Simpson’s quote. I have nothing against gays. Italians on the other hand…). I hope everyone is gearing up for a night of happy light social drinking. And for all you who are, get out! I got no room for cheapskates. Ok, I’ll stop with the Simpson’s quotes and just recommend you check out http://www.snpp.com/episodes/4F15. SNPP is a great site for everything Simpson’s related.

So I hope everyone got their NCAA brackets filled out and we can all get on with our lives while running ESPN’s scoreboard in a minimized browser on our computers and hitting ALT-TAB to check the score every 30 seconds. Unless you’re my boss, who was smart and just took today and tomorrow off so he can enjoy the games hassle free.

Just a quick update for today as there’s just not been a whole lot of note going on, yet I’ve found myself ridiculously busy lately. And if you want to know anything about Natural Family Planning, I’ve become an expert after my Pre-Cana last weekend.

Recent albums finding lots of playing time lately:

Bright Eyes – I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning - Since it seems all the rage lately, Bright Eyes put out this album simultaneously with another one: Digital Ash in a Digital Urn. While Digital Ash isn’t a bad album, its foray into electronica doesn’t blend as well as other attempts like the Postal Service’s Give Up. Wide Awake however is a very catchy indie folk rock album that has a couple songs that you find yourself humming later that day. Another Travelin’ Song and Land Locked Blues are strong lead-ins to Poison Oak which may be the best song on the album. Strangely the album ends with Road to Joy which is probably the album’s low point. The combination of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy with the screaming vocals taken right from Dashboard Confessional just seems an odd capper for an otherwise mellow album. But other than that the album flows really well complimented on some tracks by the vocal support of Emmylou Harris.

And appropriate enough for St. Patrick’s Day:

Carbon Leaf – Echo Echo and Indian Summer – Both these Irish folk rock albums are enjoyable and are reminiscent of the Paperboys or even a really mellow Black 47 (if Black 47 has ever been mellow). While Echo Echo is the better album, both are very catchy with the upbeat tempos and fun wordplay typically associated with Irish folk rock (as opposed to the harder Irish rock of the Thrills). Check out The Boxer and Mary Mac on Echo Echo and Life Less Ordinary and What About Everything on Indian Summer for some of the better tracks.

“K, you’re right. Not a book thing… It’s a phone thing!”
“Who ya gonna call? God that phrase isn't ever gonna be usable again, is it?”
“Doubt it.”

I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away: "Miniature" "Golf".

Greetings all. Hope all is well. Had a lovely little weekend with some quality family time, some good meals and laughs and one malfunctioning toilet.

March Madness is in the air and isn’t it sweet? (*written 2 days ago*) If ND doesn’t blow it they should secure themselves a birth in the tournament this year. They won’t get too far but it’ll be a fun time while it lasts. (*written today*) Well, they blew it. Losing to Rutgers. Goodbye tourney hopes. ND sports blows it in crunch time again. But props to the women’s team for their 4 seed in their tournament. Ouch to Illinois for blowing their undefeated season the last game of the season. D’oh!

Caught Be Cool over the weekend. Not as good as Get Shorty but pretty good and if nothing else, funny. The all-star cast of the original gets updated to today’s modern stars. Out are Gene Hackman, Rene Russo, Dennis Farina. In come Vince Vaughn, Uma Thurman, Harvey Keitel, Cedric the Entertainer, Andre 3000 and the Rock. Not a bad cast. Cedric gets a good Quentin Tarantino-esque monologue and Andre and the Rock are hilarious playing parodies of themselves. Vince Vaughn starts to grate on the nerves a little after a while but on the whole, the movie is a good time.

So seeing as how we’re fast approaching the new year’s movie season when studios start actually giving a rat’s ass about movies and not putting out schlock like The Pacifier (remember when Vin Diesel was working with Steven Spielberg in Saving Private Ryan?), I thought I’d whip out my list of :

Top 5 movies I’m Most Looking Forward To

(in order of release)

Sin City – April 1^st

I’ve never read the comics so I can’t speak for how good they may be, but there’s 3 reasons I’m psyched about this movie: 1) Robert Rodriguez – The man behind the El Mariachi trilogy has some serious style behind his films. Yeah, a lot of people didn’t like Once Upon a Time in Mexico. I’ll be honest, I didn’t buy Willem Defoe as a Mexican either no matter how much makeup he was wearing but still the movie worked great as a capper to the trilogy. 2) The Look – this could be the Sky Captain of 2005 with is fantastic noir black & white look. No matter how good the movie ends up being, it’s going to be some serious eye candy. 3) The Cast – Ok, let’s see here: Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Mickey Rourke (the Harley Davidson guy?), Benecio Del Toro, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Elijah Wood, Nick Stahl, Brittany Murphy, Jamie King, Alexis Bledel, Josh Hartnett, Michael Madsen and Michael Duncan Clark…… ok then.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – May 6^th

If you’ve never read these books, stop reading, go out to your car, drive to Barnes and Noble, walk inside, find the books under author Douglas Adams, buy them, walk out, buy a Dr. Pepper, sit down and read them. These books are truly the most twisted, messed up, mind-boggling, warped, and without a doubt funniest books ever written. I mean how great is a book which involves the destruction of earth, political intrigue, torture by poetry, a clinically depressed robot, the creation of earth and gives you the answer to life, the universe and everything? This movie looks to keep that trend up perfectly. Fantastic casting, including Sam Rockwell as Zaphod Beeblebrox (if you saw him in Galaxy Quest or Confessions of a Dangerous Mind you know how fantastic an actor he is.) and Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin the Paranoid Android. Hell yes.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith – May 19^th

Ok, this is it. The last one. The Omega. The finale. Good bye Obi Wan. Is it going to kick ass? I think so. Why? One, because it’s going to take most of the political jargon and half-hearted love speak and throw it out the window in favor of lightsabers and space battles. Sweeeeeet. Lucas has gone on record as saying this will probably be the first Star Wars with a PG-13 rating. That’s fantastic because this is supposed to be a dark movie and I was scared to death that Lucas was gonna start chopping away at the good stuff to get it down to PG. But it looks like he’s sticking to his guns, making me actually happy with him for the first time since I saw Jar Jar Binks. Two, because finally Hayden Christenson will get what’s coming to him after the agonizingly stilted acting in Episode 2 when he gets the crap kicked out of him by Ewan McGregor in the ultimate duel which is what every Star Wars fan has been waiting for since the prequels began. Three, James Earl Jones is coming back as the voice of Darth Vader. Giggity giggity giggity.

Batman Begins – June 17^th

Ok, with the possible exception of the first Burton one, Batman has gotten kicked in the nuts repeatedly with these movies. Were those responsible punished? Were they ostracized from society, driven out to the middle of nowhere and left for dead? No. They were given a freaking academy award for writing Beautiful Mind! Damn you Akiva Goldsmith! So what does this one have that might make up for it? Joel Schumaker has been kicked out and told to go direct more Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals and they’re bringing on Christopher Nolan. If anyone can present a serious mood it’s the guy who did Memento and the American remake of Insomnia. Writer: David Goyer, writer of Dark City and Blade. Ok, so we’ve got the dark atmosphere in here. Casting: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Ken Watanabe (Last Samarai and the upcoming Memoirs of a Geisha), Katie Holmes, and Cilian Murphy (28 Days Later… this guy knows how to play unhinged) as the Scarecrow. Based at least partially on Frank Miller’s (see also Sin City) Batman: Year One. I think this could be, dare I say it, a great Batman movie.

Serenity – September 30^th

Ok, you’ve read my raves of Firefly, well this is something that any Joss Whedon fan has been waiting for, a full out big budget Whedon film. He’s never directed any of his own movies before so this’ll be great as he has full control. Based on everything I’ve read this is gonna have the same wit, adventure, charm and out and out hilarity as the show itself but without the one hour long time limit of TV. The cancellation of the show left a million questions unanswered which Whedon will be looking to remedy and at the same time I guarantee it’ll work for anyone who hasn’t seen the show. This could turn out to be the best space adventure flick of the year (and looking at my list that’s some pretty stiff competition). Personally, I can’t wait.

There are a few other films that I am looking forward to quite a bit: Peter Jackson's King Kong and the next Harry Potter movie, but as they won't be out til the end of the year, I can't get that excited about them yet.

Shameless plugs:

My own Episode III: DONE!!! Now comes the obligatory down time but I promise it won’t be as long as the last one I took.

Booter updated his blog!

Until next time:

"Save me Shiva."
"Why don't you just call out for Hawkman?"
"Why don't you shut up?"

Awesome Awesome Fancy Danish

Another week, another Mustard post.

No real big surprises at the Oscars this year. I enjoyed Chris Rock as host although with the exception of the opening monologue he didn’t really do anything. Though I did think it a breathe of fresh air that he didn’t sit there and kiss everyone’s ass in the place. Yeah, some of the jokes may have come off mean, but I mean, come on, it’s freakin’ Chris Rock. That was tame compared to his usual stuff. The part where he interviewed people at the theater was great especially when Albert Brooks (Simpson’s fans know him as Hank Scorpio among other guest roles) suddenly showed up.

As a note: I did catch the Aviator before the show and I pretty much stick with my choices with the lone exception of giving Cate Blanchett the Supporting Actress statue for her excellent portrayal of Katherine Hepburn.

A couple quick album reviews for you as I haven’t really done much in that department in a while. Looking back, Garden State pretty much altered my entire musical taste as since that album I’ve turned almost completely to indie artists. What can I say, Hoobastank, Kelly Clarkson and Gwen Stefani (she’s ripping off Fiddler on the Roof? what the hell?) just don’t do it for me.

So currently playing on repeat:

Jack Johnson – In Between Dreams: The man does the best laid back, just sitting around, drinking a cold one, chilling out and relaxing music around and his new album is no different. A little more upbeat than past albums overall, listening to this just makes me look forward to hanging around the pool this summer. Highly recommended.

Jason Mraz – Waiting for my Rocket to Come: This album is a couple years old but it’s new to me, so there. This is a great driving CD. Upbeat, sometimes goofy, fun lyrics, it’s just the kind of music you need to keep you awake on those long car rides.

Fountain of Wayne – Welcome Interstate Managers: Yes, you all know the single Stacy’s Mom. What may surprise you is how eclectic this album is. It’s not all the goofy pop rock. You go from Stacy’s Mom to an Old 97’s type country-influenced alt rock on Valley Winter Song then jump to the slower, rock ballad-esque All Kinds of Time, and then you suddenly jump again to the Grateful Dead-like Hey Julie and swing around to the pure country western twang of Hung up on You and along the way throwing in traces of just about every other style imaginable. It’s not all perfect but it is a lot of fun.

Flaming Lips – Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots: Ok, Brock tried to get me hooked on this back in senior year at Notre Dame but back then I wasn’t listening to indie and the title was just too strange for me. So a few years later and I took a chance. It’s a weird but also excellent album. To explain the sound think Radiohead crossed with Pink Floyd with plenty of synth and maybe you’ll get something close. In other words, you pretty much just have to go on faith and give it a try. But it the more I listen to it, the more addicting it is.

Movie notes:

Aviator: Good movie, waaaaay to long. Cut out about 45 mins and you’ve got the best picture winner. You got greedy Marty.

Constantine: Disappointing. Not good sci-fi ala Buffy and not So-God-Awful-Its-Funny ala Van Helsing. Just kinda, ok. Keanu, you’re talking too much, you know what happens when you do that. Who’s up for a Bill & Ted 3? I’m sure they guy who played Bill would be up for it as he doesn’t currently have a career.

TV notes:

Lost continuing to be excellent but come on, let’s have a little more overall story arc development. They currently have about one major thing happen per 3 episodes.

I’ve completely forsaken Joey in favor of the O.C. I know, I’m a total loser, but damnit, the show is hilarious… unlike Joey.

Scrubs still the funniest show on TV but what’s been up with all the depressing endings lately? The last 3 or 4 shows have ended on a total bummer note.

Strip: back up and chugging along. Erin, Booter, update those blogs. Crowley nice work with the art class section.

Until next time:

“I totally get it. Older ladies know how to work it!”

“Okay, see, now you're in a bit of a pickle because the older lady you're talking about better not be me, and it sure as hell better not be somebody else. So whatta you have to say?”

“Your favorite jeans are too tight and they look ridiculous!”

“What!?”

“Well, I'm in trouble anyway and it needed to be said!”

Guesses on How Many Times Chris Rock is Gonna Get Bleeped?

Mmmmm….Mustard.

Yeah, I know I was gonna do the televisionwithoutpity thing but that’s been pushed back a week or so for me to bring you: MY OSCAR PREVIEW!!!

Ok, a few notes prior to getting into this: as of today I’ve only seen 3 of the 5 best picture nominees (Sideways, Ray, Million Dollar Baby). I’m planning on seeing The Aviator this weekend before Sunday night. I’m going to miss out on Finding Neverland but let’s face it, even though I’ve heard it’s a very good movie, it’s not gonna win best picture. But for the most part with the individual award below I’ll have to go with what I’ve seen because c’mon, it’d be damn near impossible to see every single movie tied to every single award nomination. Anyways, here we go, in no particular order:

Actor in a Leading Role: Jamie Foxx wins this one easily. The man was fantastic in Ray. Most of the time I tend to not go with the heavy favorite but in this case, give it to him. He might get some competition from DiCaprio but I don’t see any upset in this one. Cheadle is one of the best actors working today and he’ll definitely be back here again. He just needs his breakout role. Depp too. Both these guys will have loads of noms in the future. Eastwood was good but won’t take down Foxx. Paul Giamatti should’ve been in here. He wouldn’t have won, but he was fantastic in Sideways. Also Jim Carrey, best work of his career and he gets nothing for Eternal Sunshine.

Actor in a Supporting Role: Foxx won’t take this as he’s getting the best actor. Clive Owen doesn’t have the momentum to take this. Alan Alda could pull it in but I’ve yet to see his performance. Morgan Freeman could take this and he did do a very good job but honestly, it’s not his best role ever. If he wins it’ll be the Denzel award of the night where he wins in acknowledgement of his past excellent roles (ie Denzel Washington winning for Training Day was really him winning for past roles he got passed by on). Of those I’ve seen I give it to Thomas Haden Church for his excellent performance as the jackass groom-to-be in Sideways.

Actress in a Leading Role: Ok, I never saw Vera Drake but I did hear Imelda Staunton was excellent. I just don’t think it was a big enough movie for her to take it. Annette Bening is the same thing. Catalina Sandino Moreno put in a strong performance in Maria Full of Grace but it was a small foreign language indie flick so she won’t get it. I’m split now on Hilary Swank and Kate Winslet. Both performances were excellent. But I think I’ll go with Winslet on this one as Swank has all the momentum and I think she’ll probably win. But Winslet deserves some recognition for her outstanding performance in a totally under-appreciated film (oooh, foreshadowing).

Actress in a Supporting Role: Only one I’ve seen is Virginia Madsen who was good and I wouldn’t pitch a fit if she won. Natalie Portman in Closer could be a good bet (and with her year, she deserves it. She was amazing in Garden State, the super-under-appreciated film). The other three I’ve heard good things and honestly, this category is completely wide open to who will win. So what the hell, I’ll say Portman for her whole body of work this year (who knew that if it’s not a Star Wars movie, she’s an amazing actress).

Animated Feature Film: The Incredibles, no contest. Shrek 2 was hilarious and a great movie but it’s gonna be dated within 5 to 10 years. Let’s face it, my kids won’t get half the jokes. Incredibles is timeless and I’d love it to win just to stick it to Disney saying, you’re letting Pixar go? Seriously? Shark Tale… what the hell is that doing being nominated. What about some foreign animated movies? Ghost in the Machine 2: Innocence from Japan is supposed to be fantastic.

Art Direction: Haven’t seen a one. So from the trailers I’ll go with Phantom or Lemony Snicket. This is art design, not best movie so it doesn’t matter if the movie wasn’t good with this. Pretty boring category though, don’t see anything eye popping in there.

Cinematography: Again, haven’t seen these though I’m going to give it to House of Flying Daggers. It’s by the same guy who did Hero and from everything I’ve seen it’s every bit as gorgeously shot as that movie was. If Hero hadn’t technically been eligible last year, I guarantee it’d be in this year.

Costume Design: Um, I saw Ray and Troy. Neither of those jumped out at me in the way of costuming. I honestly can’t really say on this one so I’ll give it to Troy if only cause I’d laugh my ass off if that movie actually won an Oscar.

Directing: Honestly, I didn’t really see anything super amazing from MDB, Ray or Sideways, and Vera Drake won’t, so what the hell, give it to Marty. He’s earned it by now. If not both Eastwood or Payne could take it.

Documentary: No idea, but it’ll probably go to Super Size Me.

Documentary Short Subject: ….

Film Editing: I’ll give this one to Million Dollar Baby. The training/fight scenes were cut very well and the stand alone conversation shots were left the perfect length.

Foreign Language: Don’t know, but I see the Sea Inside winning. Lots of buzz.

Makeup: Ok, you’re going to laugh at me but I’m upset with category. No real creativity whatsoever. You want to honestly know what should’ve been nominated? Hellboy. I know, I know, sounds ridiculous. But let’s face it, the makeup on it was terrific, especially in this day and age where everything is just CGI. But that’s the problem with this category. The best makeup jobs done are never any movies that Academy members see. Passion of the Christ? For what, blood and dirt? Lemony Snicket… ok, for Jim Carrey’s nose. But what else? I have no idea about the Sea Inside. So I say nothing for this category.

Music (score): I’m amazed Million Dollar Baby wasn’t nominated. Not because it necessarily deserves it but more because such a big deal was made over Eastwood scoring it himself. I don’t know with this one. Harry Potter was good but it was mostly variations of the first 2 movies. Village wasn’t anything special. I guess of the two I’ve seen I’ll go with Harry Potter. (What about the Incredibles score?)

Music (Song): Only know Accidentally in Love which is good enough for me as it’s the best work Counting Crows has done in a long time and wasn’t just tacked on to the ending credits of the movie like most other songs in this category.

Skipping the two shorts film categories cause I have no clue…

Sound Editing: Didn’t see Polar Express so it’s between Incredibles and Spider-man 2. Spider-man 2 was a great movie, one of the best superhero films of all time, but I didn’t really notice the sound all that much so this one goes to the Incredibles.

Sound Mixing: I give this one to the Incredibles again. To be fair, it is a lot easier to notice sound in animated movies when you know that it’s not real life sounds you’re hearing but rather has to be completely artificial ones inserted into the movie.

Visual Effects: This one I give to Spider-man 2 where the effects were much better than the first one. Harry Potter was also good but not as good. To repeat a past rant: where the hell was Sky Captain in this? It was a revolutionary technique, looked amazing, and yet gets nothing cause it wasn’t a box office smash hit.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay): This category is a little hard because I always feel like I should’ve read the book from which it’s adapted to compare but in terms of actual screenplay I’ll go with Sideways from the two I’ve seen. Though to be honest I’d love if Richard Linklater, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy won for Before Sunset. Linklater (Slacker, Dazed and Confused, Before Sunrise, Waking Life, School of Rock) has done some amazing work and I think it’s time he gets recognized for it.

Writing (Original Screenplay): Ok, you know that Garden State rant you were waiting for? Here it is: Where in the blue hell is Garden State in this category. Think I’m way off base? Go to the Writer’s Guild Awards site. You’ll notice it was nominated. Hmmm… the Writer’s Guild, who probably know about such things, nominated it and the Academy doesn’t. What a shock. I know it’s not gonna hit a best pic nom. And I know it’s not feasible in the minds of the academy to give any acting noms to it (though from what I heard Portman was actually better in Garden State than in Closer for which she was nominated). But come on, it was a fantastic screenplay, with sharp, witting and poignant writing. A little help here. And the thing is, I don’t even think it should’ve won. My pick here is Eternal Sunshine because this category is for Original Screenplay and they don’t get much more original than Eternal Sunshine. But the nomination should’ve been there. This, along with the Sky Captain gip, are my two biggest issues with the Oscar noms this year.

Ok, here it is: Best Picture

Honestly, Ray doesn’t deserve to be in here. Jamie Foxx was amazing, the cast was amazing, the movie was good. Good movies don’t get Best Picture. Eternal Sunshine should’ve been in here (yes, I think Garden State could’ve but wouldn’t have. Eternal Sunshine did have a chance. It was just released way way way too early to be a contender. The academy has a short memory). Finding Neverland I didn’t see but it’s a tack on nom. They needed a 5^th non-controversial pick to throw in and that’s how this got here. The Aviator can’t say yet, but I don’t see this as being my pick. Too big budget and obvious for my taste. So that comes down to Million Dollar Baby and Sideways. I wouldn’t be upset with either of these two winning. But I’m going with Sideways. Million Dollar Baby was very well done in almost every aspect but honestly, I just didn’t enjoy it as much as Sideways. Sideways maybe a “comedy” but it’s a pretty dark comedy. One man who’s so terrified of accepting the fact that he’s not a young crazy Hollywood movie star that he goes around bragging about his commercial voiceovers and cheating on his fiancée during his bachelor party/trip. The other who is terrified of failure both past (his last marriage) and future (his book) that he’s turned to alcoholism and uses an extensive knowledge of wine to mask it. I thought the movie was fantastic and completely not the standard Hollywood movie. There’s no tightly wrapped up conclusion. Jack ends up married but his friendship with Miles has been completely shaken, and he hasn’t seemingly learned anything from his experience. He fakes a car crash to explain his injuries to his fiancée. How long can he keep that up? Miles, on the other hand, may have accepted that maybe it is enough to find happiness with Maya instead of the wine bottle (though him drinking the good wine at the fast food restaurant isn’t necessarily the best sign) but the movie ends before he confronts her again. Life isn’t always wrapped up in a nice neat little bow. I like movies who actually understand that. Give the statue to Sideways.

Alright, wow this was a long post. Anyways, we’ll see how my picks do come Sunday. Until faithful readers:

“Half my life is over and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. I'm a thumbprint on the window of a skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage.”
”See? Right there. Just what you just said. That is beautiful. 'A smudge of excrement... surging out to sea.'“
”Yeah.“
”I could never write that.“
” Neither could I, actually. I think it's Bukowsky.”

Bring on the Imperialistic Condiments

Yes it’s true, the Mustard has finally returned. After some time off which let’s face it, wasn’t really time off as I spent all weekend moving and this week trying to put away all the massive amounts of random crap I didn’t even know I had. But I found some time to update the blog quickly. Seeing as how I still don’t have my internet connection up it might be a little while before things get legitimately back to normal.

Yes, I know, I’ve let the strip go for the past two weeks. Don’t worry; by next Monday I’m going to have a big update. It’ll be worth the wait, trust me. But it takes time to make that thing and that’s something I’ve most definitely been lacking as of late.

So the new apartment is looking good, much like the old one but with a few subtle differences (no bay window which is fine seeing as how I couldn’t see out the old one to begin with due to a big ol’ tree and the new place is on the first floor which I can’t tell you how thankful I was for that. My back hurt enough after moving everything without having to go up stairs with the heavy TV). I’m slowly getting everything back up and running.

The NHL cancelled its season… and? Let’s face it, anyone who actually had hopes they were ever gonna play after that first game was cancelled was smoking the wacky tobaccy. So hockey has taken another step back which really blows cause it’s a great game and the sooner the owners and players start treating it like that rather than trying to pretend it’s the NFL or MLB and a permanent staple of society, the better off hockey fans everywhere will be.

The Grammy’s were on last week. Did anyone watch them? To quote the Simpsons:

Homer:  Oh, why won't anyone give me an award?
Lisa:   You won a Grammy.
Homer:  I mean an award that's worth winning.

That’s about all I’ve got on that.

Speaking of award ceremonies, the Oscar’s are coming up in 2 weeks. I’m desperately rushing around trying to catch as many nominees as I can. I’ve got Ray, Sideways under my belt and am hoping to catch Million Dollar Baby this weekend and hopefully the Aviator soon too. I’ll catch Finding Neverland if I can cause I do want to see it but I can already tell that it has about as much a chance of winning as Notre Dame does of winning the Orange Bowl next year (but damn that was a great Boston College game basketball game, wasn’t it?). But I’ll probably have my pre-Oscar post the week beforehand to allow me to get as many movies in as I can. And I’m sure I’ll have a few rants to throw in there.

Speaking of rants, I’m going to try a new thing next week for my post. If you’ve ever been to www.televisionwithoutpity.com, it’s going to be something along those lines so I’m open to suggestions over which shows to do. Just make sure they’re not like Scrubs or Lost or shows that I like cause while I would enjoy to do something like that, I don’t think it’d be as funny which is really what I’m aiming for with this. I’ve already got one show lined up and I’d like at least two more so let’s hear it. Thanks go out to Erin for the suggestion of trying this.

Also I need to make a special note here. For those of you who caught my ‘Douglas’ reference in the chapter 7 of the latest strip, I would like to add a little note of gratitude to Ms. Erin Long for coming up with the idea for that panel. I had a notion of trying to use the reference before but couldn’t come up with how and she just nailed it and probably made it the funniest reference I’ve done so far. So thanks hon.

Alright, until next time:

“Dr. Cox...”
”Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'. “
”See ya.”

In My Plan We Are Beltless

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Mustard! Another week, another blog. Who’da thunk?

So Super Bowl XXXIX = boring! And I’m not even talking about the commercials or half time show. That had to be one of the sloppiest football games I’ve seen since the Notre Dame season ended. McNabb who I was touting high praise for came off as an amateur throwing 3 (really 4) interceptions and managed to show his ability to scramble a grand total of once. And that fearsome Pats’ offense seemed to be on autopilot as at least a fumble is more exciting than 3 and out for the first half of the game. And what the hell were the Eagles doing those last 6 minutes. You’re down by 10 and yet have been steadily moving down the field, maybe you should, I don't know, not go to the huddle every play! It’s called time management people! T.O. had a great game but don’t turn him into some sort of higher being. They played him safe, not giving him a lot of passes and every one he got was to the outside so he could get out of bounds and not take a huge hit.

The commercials… good gravy! Talk about uninspired. I know they have this whole FCC crackdown on salacious content but that doesn’t mean you have to completely screw the pooch on comedy. It’s like on the Simpsons when Homer gives up beer and sits confounded at a baseball game going “I never realized how boring this game really is”. And you’ll notice the only relatively funny ones were the dark comedy bits like the one with the guy and his cat in the kitchen or the “hold up” at the convenient store. We can’t have anything involving sex but violence… that’s just fine.

I didn’t have a problem with the halftime show. Granted I spent most of it trying to load the homestarrunner.com halftime show (which apparently half the web was trying to do cause it never loaded). But you know what, I’d rather have Paul McCartney come out and sing a couple good songs than have the usual ADD halftime where 4 or 5 pop stars come out and lip sync 30 seconds of a crappy song while some crazy dance choreography goes on and half the audience leaves for the restrooms. I also liked the stage setup with the video screens on the ramps.

But it was good company last night and while I have way too much pizza left over, I successfully managed to sneak in a martini during halftime. Line of the night goes to Courtney:

(While Alicia Keyes and School for the Deaf and Blind are doing America the Beautiful)
Erin: Well the deaf kids are at least signing America the Beautiful but what are the blind kids doing?
Courtney: They’re just standing there, looking around.

If you caught the Simpsons afterwards: They gave Comic Book Guy a name! No way! From now on he’s: Jeff Albertson. I like the fact that they threw that in there as a total nugget for the fans.

I also caught American Dad, the latest from Family Guy creator Seth McFarlene. I have to say, I wasn’t too impressed. There were a LOT of jokes that totally fell flat and it didn’t help that they basically have the same family dynamic as the Griffins. Also the lack of character development for half the cast didn’t help. I mean the goldfish had a brain transplant with a German skier? Ok… but they didn’t go any farther than that. Just hey, there’s a goldfish with a German accent. The alien has some potential to be pretty funny but I don’t know. The show could still develop. God knows anyone watching the first episode of the Simpsons wouldn’t have exactly been wowed. So who knows, I’ll give it a chance but at the point I’m much more looking forward to the return of the Family Guy May 1^st.

I’ve finished watching the Buffy Season 7 DVD and while I had seen the last episode before, it still was kinda sad knowing that’s the end of Buffy and there won’t be anymore seasons to look forward to being released on DVD. Even worse is that Season 5 of Angel comes out next week and that‘ll be the final season of the Buffyverse. Damn you WB!

The big move begins this upcoming weekend so I’m not sure how long my downtime will be with the blog and strip. Hopefully not too long but if no updates happen for a week or so… tough! You’ll get your updates when I’m damn good and ready to give them. Not that I’m bitter of course. I feel kinda special when I get people bugging me to update the strip. At least I know people are reading it. Ok, until next time gringos y gringas:

"What are you talking about? "
"Never mind, eat the fruit. "
"You know, this place almost looks like the Garden of Eden. "
"Eat the fruit. "
"Sounds quite like it too."

Hahaha! Mine is an evil laugh.

Hola mis lectores de la Mostaza. Well it’s been a long month but we’re pulling through to February. Good for us.

Crowley booted! I’m so proud! Though I have to say I’m a little let down. All the crazy partying the past two New Years, most everyone has gotten sick but yet Crowley remains steady. And then he just gives it up on some random weekend night. Next year Crowley, you’ll get yours at New Years. Mwa ha ha!

However I do have to thank Crowley for getting me hooked on Firefly, the cancelled Joss Whedon space TV series from 2 years back. I’m only 4 episodes in but the more I watch it, the more I marvel at how much better the hour and 20 minute pilot was than any of the Star Wars prequels. It was like, wow, you mean you can do a sci-fi series and actually have such things as character development? No way! It was suddenly like I was watching the original trilogy back when, you know, you actually gave a rat’s ass about the characters. I also love it cause it still has the full implemented sense of humor that both Buffy and Angel had injected into otherwise serious moments. It makes me sad to think that this show could’ve been huge if it had been marketed halfway competently and not hidden away on random nights of the week. But then again this is Fox. Wait, you’re telling me Fox doesn’t know how to properly market decent shows? Really? *cough* Family Guy *cough*.

Then again I guess I should be grateful. Huge DVD sales of the show convinced Fox to let Whedon do a full length movie of the show which will be in theaters in September. Angel was just unceremoniously cancelled to make way for such huge ratings cash cows as the Blue Collar Comedy tour and Drew Carey’s Green Screen and Summerland and The Mountain! What’s that? Drew Carey and The Mountain were both canceled? Summerland was a ratings loser who barely made it through a shortened summer season and the Blue Collar tour is now relegated to the useless 9:30 Friday night slot? Oh, well, I guess everyone makes mistakes, don’t they?

To quote the strip: Damn you, WB!

Ok, enough of the rant. But I do recommend checking out Firefly if you’re a fan of any of Whedon’s other work or if you’re a sci-fi fan who’s looking for something a hundred times better than the sci-fi series you’ll find currently on today or if you’re just someone who actually enjoys well written TV series which you won’t find much of on today’s shows.

After I gave them much shame, both Booter and Erin have updated their blogs. Ok, so maybe it had absolutely nothing to do with me but it makes me feel like a more important person to think that so let’s just go with that shall we?

I will be moving in the next couple weeks so if the blog posts or strip starts slowing down in a week or so, don’t fret. I’ll have them up and running as soon as possible. Very excited about the move cause it’ll be nice not to have to devote half a month’s salary to rent alone. And you know what that means…. MORE DVD’s!!! Just kidding. But not really.

Alright you of the pantalones enérgicos. Until next time:

If you take advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!

Greetings all you fancy pants Changs. Welcome back to the Mustard. Hope all is going well with you crazy cats. Life in this place continues on as it has. Currently figuring out photographers and apartments. In that order too.

Episode III of the strip: Up and running. Get it, read it, love it, point out the errors in grammar and panel continuity I’ve made.

So I lost out on pretty much every team I went for in the NFL playoffs. Colts – out. Steelers – out. So go Eagles. It was just harsh that both those teams went out without much of a fight.

The Oscar noms are out. I can’t really say too much about them right now as I’ve yet to see any of the best picture nominations. It doesn’t look like a bad list but it’s a pretty safe one with few surprises though some surprising omissions. A big one was Paul Giamatti not picking up a best actor nom for Sideways. From everything I heard it looked like it was gonna be a big race between him and Jamie Foxx. Instead they toss Clint Eastwood in. When push comes to shove the Oscars always toss in dramatic performances over comedy.

Also Foxx got nominated both for Lead and Supporting Actor. Now this is totally the Academy saying hey, wouldn’t it be cool if we nominated him for both awards? I’ve heard he was good in Collateral but I’m sure there are a lot more actors who should’ve gotten the nom ahead of him.

Kate Winslet picked up a Lead Actress nom for Eternal Sunshine but what about Jim Carrey? He was fantastic. And thank God Eternal Sunshine picked up an Original Screenplay nod or you would’ve seen the biggest rant I’ve ever posted.

I love that the Incredibles picked up an Original Screenplay nomination. It really was a fantastic script and even though it doesn’t have a prayer of winning, the nomination lends more legitimacy to it as a “real” movie rather than an animated feature which is always treated as joke by the awards. I mean hell, Shark Tale picked up an animated feature nom and that movie was almost universally reviled.

A HUGE omission in best visual effects by leaving out Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I mean what the hell? All three of the nominated movies (Harry Potter 3, Spider-man 2, I, Robot) had good effects but nothing groundbreaking. But Sky Captain, despite its critical claim (well deserved I might add, that was kickass movie), didn’t make enough money and therefore gets forgotten. For the most part best visual effects noms go to the biggest blockbusters (Star Wars prequels, LOTR, Pirates of the Carribean, etc). If you’re not super high profile summer fare for the most part, you get left out.

So I’ll post later before the Oscars my real opinions on the nominees once I see more of them but as I said, doesn’t look like a bad list just safe. And I think Martin Scorsese might finally get his win. Right now he’s the Dan Marino (or Peyton Manning) of the directing world. He’s given us some of film history’s best movies but has never won himself. So now that Peter Jackson has finally stopped hogging all the spotlight (until next year when he brings out King Kong which from all I’ve heard is going to blow people away), Scorsese should finally get his statue.

Alright crew, final plugs: Episode III. Erin’s blog (I’m hoping if I plug it, she’ll update it). Booter’s blog (same deal, one post? come on man!) Crowley’s blog (it makes me smile). Wow, I’ve gotten three people to start up their own blogs. I’m proud. And for the most part they actually have a point to theirs whereas mine, it’s just me ranting and raving and being me.

Until next time personas calientes:

“From now on there are three ways of doing things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.”
”Isn't that just the wrong way?”
”Yes, but faster!”

I SAID CONSUMMATE V'S! CONSUMMATE!!!

Happy new week you cheese eatin’ surrender monkeys. I’m back with the weekly (sometimes) update of the Mustard. I’m currently recovering from… nothing. Whoa! It’s a miracle! For the first time in I don’t know how long I am not spending Monday recovering from a crazy weekend. Yes folks, this weekend I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I could have hoped it would be. Tremendous!

The NCAA football season is over and this year we actually have a National Champion. Yes, Auburn fans will cry a different story and you know what, they probably have a point that they should’ve gotten a shot at USC. But until college administrators throughout the land grow up and force the BCS to institute a playoff (but that’s not as profitable as a series of bowl games!) then this is what we got. And USC proved that it was the tops by blowing away Oklahoma. If Auburn wanted to make an argument, it should’ve been louder than a 16-13 win over Va Tech. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good win, but barely beating out a team that USC beat pretty soundly doesn’t make an impression on the minds of the voters. Yes it sucks that just because you started the year at #3 in the polls, you lost out. But you know what? USC got screwed last year much worse than you did and what did they do? They shrugged it off and rolled through an undefeated season to capture their championship. Ah well, I’m still pulling for you next year. You’ve got the #2 spot pretty much locked up in the preseason polls. Now just do it again and you’ve got your title.

Well seeing as how my Giants made the 2^nd half of the season look as horrible as their first half was good, I needed to pick a new team to get behind for this playoff season. I almost went with the Eagles cause why not? Yeah, T.O. can be jackass but he backs it up and doesn’t pull a Sammy Sosa, walking off the field before the end of the game (cough Randy Moss cough). But instead I decided to go from one Manning to another, and get behind the Colts. Why? One, if the Colts make it to the Super Bowl, they’ll have earned it (having to go through the Pats and probably Steelers). If the Eagles don’t make it to the Super Bowl…that’s just sad. And second, I’d just like see Manning get his win in the big one and cap his Marino-beating season by doing what Marino never did. So what the hell, go Colts!

Mets went out and got Carlos Beltran. Well I like this a lot more than Pedro. At least Beltran is young and will bring some good hitting and defense to the team, something they sorely need. Not crazy about the monstrous size and length of contract but if he stays healthy and keeps producing then the Mets may have finally landed the big one they need. If nothing else, it’s another thing to get excited about when they come into town to play the Nationals (it’s still a crappy name).

Wow, so went into a major sports rant for three paragraphs. Didn’t know I had it in me. Anyways, on to some reviews:

Ocean’s Twelve – Yeah, I caught this before Christmas but I figured I’d chime in with my two cents. This movie is just there for the fun of it. Plots holes, good lord, why even bother? But then this movie is all about the interactions between the characters. And they do a surprisingly good job at balancing out scenes of the ensemble so you don’t even realize how little some of them are on screen until the movie is over. I mean Bernie Mac has maybe 5 minutes of screen time but they’re put in there just right so it almost seems like he’s in the whole movie. Really, even George Clooney doesn’t have as much time as you’d think considering his character is the namesake of the movie. The “breakout” star here is Matt Damon. He just plays the befuddled doofus so well. His Linus is just trying so hard to be a major player. The problem is he doesn’t understand half of what’s going on. Catherine Zeta Jones does an good job of melding in with the superstar cast but I wasn’t wowed by her. Vincent Cassels does a much better job, playing the smug thief the ‘Night Fox’ and really being a great foil to Clooney and Pitt. Overall I’d say this is a good movie for a rental or if you’re up for a fun blow away movie, I don’t think you’ll regret paying theater price for it. There’s a hilarious bit involving Julia Roberts’ character’s resemblance to a famous actress and another totally random cameo that’s worth the price of admission alone.

Spanglish – Caught this movie over the weekend and liked it. Honestly, the performances it in make it a better movie than it probably should be. Tea Leoni might be trying to force a comeback (is a comeback if they really didn’t do much to begin with?) with her excellent portrayal of a self-indulgent house wife who just doesn’t get it when she screws up (which is often) and blames everyone but herself. Adam Sandler… you know I wish he’d make up his mind. I love the old school Adam Sandler screwball comedies. Then he goes and does roles like Punch Drunk Love and here in Spanglish and you’re just left sitting there going wow, he’s a phenomenal actor. It’s the old Jim Carrey switcheroo. He just is amazing at playing these vulnerable nice guys who you feel so sorry for whenever they get dumped on (which he does in spades in this movie). Paz Vega (no, it’s not Penelope Cruz, trust me even I got confused for a bit) does a great job in a difficult part where for the good majority of the movie she doesn’t speak English and yet conveys what she’s saying perfectly to the audience. The best performance of all may go to young Sarah Steele who plays Sandler and Leoni’s daughter. She does a great job of showing us how much of her father’s daughter she is by being a smart, mature girl who is trying to get through the insecurities forced upon her by her mother who is obsessed over making her “perfect”. The look on her face going from joy and excitement when her mother shows up with new clothes for her to pained and humiliated when it turns out all the clothes are purposely too small in order to encourage her to lose weight is just heartbreaking. And I did appreciate that for once it’s not the perfect Hollywood ending (I can only imagine how many times the studio tried to get write/director James L. Brooks to change the ending to a nice simple happily ever after one). All in all a good movie and one made much much better by the performances.

Quick Album Reviews:

The Killers – Hot Fuss: The Killers have been all over the radio the past few months with their hits “Somebody Told Me” and “Mr. Brightside”. The problem is these are really their best songs. The album isn’t bad but with those two songs being the catchiest and placed at the beginning of the album, it slows down the second half the album.

The Postal Service – Give Up: Yes, I know this album technically came out in 2003 but back then I wasn’t listening to much indie stuff. The Postal Service is a collaboration between Death Cab for Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard and Jimmy Tamborello from Dntel (I’ve never heard Dntel but Death Cab for Cutie’s Transatlanticism is a fantastic album which I also highly recommend. Don’t let the rather grim name of the band fool you, it’s surprisingly mellow). I’m sure you at one point or another have heard the single “Such Great Heights” which is just a great song. Well this whole album is great. Yes, it has an electronica slant to it but no more than say Radiohead’s forays into electronica. Trust me, you’re not getting Paul Oakenfold or the Matrix soundtrack here. I’ve pretty much head the album in the cd player since I got it, it’s just phenomenal. The opening track “The District Sleep Alone Tonight” is the perfect opening track, catchy, slow building, with some great hooks and the album only gets better from there. From “Such Great Heights” to “Nothing Better” to “Clark Gable” this album just flows seamlessly. I haven’t enjoyed an album this much since I picked up the Garden State soundtrack (which actually has a cover of “Such Great Heights” done by Iron & Wine. It’s pretty interesting to compare the two as the shift in tone makes them almost two completely different songs). So just get the album already.

Ok, well this was one long blog entry. Guess that’ll balance out the short one from last week. Alright all, until next time beware Trogdor burning the THATCHED ROOF COTTAGES!!!!

What is this? Did the Quadratic Formula explode?

Ok, I watched about 50 Strongbad emails this weekend. So sue me.

Happy 2005 everybody! And with that I bring you the year’s first edition of the Mustard. It’s a little difficult for me to write this now as I’m still blinking back my exhausted glazed-over-eyes look while trying to recover from the craziness that was New Years’ weekend. Fantabulous time. The party at the Plaza was great. The company was great. The evenings were great. The drinking was probably too great but come on, it’s New Years’ and everyone need a couple bottles of wine per night, right? Thanks to everyone who came out for it:

Ashley: Congrats on surviving your first encounter with the group and not running away in terror! You now have a permanent invite if you dare to brave us again.

Booter: Shamelessly opening more and more wine…good job. Also winning the prize for most abstract drawing in pictionary ever where “pedophilia with a glove” = “Michael Jackson”.

Crowley: Mr. Dan-Be-Nimble himself. Get that blog updated as soon as humanly possible so we can all cringe at the quotes coming off the weekend.

Erin: Thanks for letting us completely trash your apartment, hon. You’re the best hostess ever! And congrats on whatever it is you won at happy hour (hopefully we’ll have our Ipod soon!)

Lauren: Also congrats on surviving your first encounter. And for not getting hurt when your date face-planted on the beer coated floor.

Me: Woo hoo! I didn’t ruin my suit this year!

So another year has come and gone with its trials and tribulations and toasts. It was a damn good year and 2005 is also looking pretty exciting. I will be starting up Episode III of the strip very shortly. We’ll soon learn more about what the hell is going on with that island on Lost. Scrubs will continue to make us laugh. We’ll be watching the a Super Bowl with a halftime so tame it’ll make nap time at the Vatican look wild. I’m fast approaching my one year mark in DC which is pretty cool. The Oscars are almost impossible to call this year, but that doesn’t mean I’m not having my Oscar bash. The final Star Wars movie comes out in May. A new, darker Batman movie is out this summer which may make up for the really, really, ridiculously bad Batman & Robin. The sixth Harry Potter book comes out in July. Joss Whedon is jumping to the big screen with Serenity, the full length feature adaptation of his short lived Firefly TV series. Peter Jackson is going from one of the most beloved book series of all time to one of the most beloved movies of all time with his remake of King Kong coming out next year. And oh yeah, I’m getting married. You know, cause that’s just a wee bit exciting too.

With Christmas having come and gone I have a bunch of new books, music and movies to review which I’ll get to eventually. I haven’t been going too crazy movie-wise lately so it’s hard to throw up too many reviews. And I don’t want to do a Top 2004 Movie list without seeing a couple movies I think will probably make it. It is Oscar season after all.

But for now, I’m going to go fall asleep cause good gravy I’m tired. And maybe I’ll start watching the Return of the King extended edition (only 5 hours long, yes!) as I drift off. Catch you on the flip side, ya’ll.